Some Day Soon
by dinui.parjai
Summary: Ahsoka Tano left the order. But she wasn't alone. No, with her was a secret that she had been hiding for months, until the time came that she couldn't anymore. The journey alone is hard, but keeping the secret had been harder. And some day soon, it would be revealed. AU
1. Chapter 1

**-Flashback-**

 _The day after Steela's death was a day of mourning for everyone, Ahsoka could tell. Understandably, Lux was almost as inconsolable as Saw._

 _After her funeral, where he also announced his intentions to join the Republic as Onderon's new senator, Ahsoka watched him slip away from the crowds. Stealthily, she followed him until he stopped at his apartment, where he stood alone on the balcony, looking out over his planet._

 _His home._

 _"Thank you, Ahsoka."He said, without turning to where she sat atop the roof. "For helping me free my home."_

 _She hopped down to join him. "I couldn't refuse, even if I wanted to." She admitted. "You're my friend, Lux, one of the few that I can call my most trusted."_

 _"Just a friend?"He asked, turning his head so that his handsome face revealed the half-smile on it. His expression made her immediately feel guilty._

 _"Lux. I'm a Jedi. I can't just admit my feelings for you... even if they do exist."_

 _"And I'm a senator." He looked again to Onderon, to the sunset. "I'm expected to marry well. I won't be lucky enough to find true love."_

 _Ahsoka knew full well his unspoken words: I already have._

 _"You wouldn't have come for me unless you had something to say."_

 _"I do... I wanted to say I was sorry."_

 _"Don't apologize for Steela. Not again. I can't bear you thinking you are responsible for her death. Because you aren't."_

 _"Lux, there are rumours going about that I meant to kill her!" Ahsoka exclaimed, incredulous. "Even if it was an accident- I can never take the deaths of others lightly. Especially when they mean something to someone else."_

 _"I can talk to Saw, once he's calmed down. The rumours will stop."_

 _"But her death cannot be undone." Ahsoka insisted. "I know what she meant to you, Lux, and for that, I am truly sorry."_

 _For a moment, Lux didn't speak. Then his stormy blue eyes looked at her, sparkling. "Did I fool you?"_

 _She scoffed."What do you mean?"_

 _"I cared for Steela, yes."He explained."But not as greatly as she wished. In truth; I was just trying to see if you would react to all the flirting. I never meant for her to kiss me."_

 _"I find that hard to believe."But deep down, Ahsoka was actually very pleased to hear that._

 _"Well, it's the truth."_

 _By this time, the sun had set all the way and revealed the full moon in Onderon's sky. It was Ahsoka's last night on Onderon, at least until she went back to the front lines. Obi-Wan and Anakin would be waiting for._

 _One more night until I may never see Lux again._

 _"I wish for one night... I could just forget who I was, forget I was a Jedi. Spend time with the people I love, instead." Ahsoka edged a bit closer to Lux, close enough to place her hand over his. "You're not the only one who's doomed to not be able to love...At least you have a chance."_

 _Lux didn't take his hand away. In fact, he turned it palm up so their fingers were then intertwined._

 _"I love you, Ahsoka. I hope you can still believe me."_

 _"Then you can understand why I can't say it back." She took her hand away, prompting Lux to give her the dissapointed puppy face as she turned to see him. "As a Jedi... I'm not even sure if I know what love is."_

 _Lux tried to say something, but she held up a hand and stopped him. Ahsoka could tell that his breath got faster as she began walking back toward him._

 _"So I want you to show me." She pleaded, "just for one night... let me forget who I am, why I can't love. Both of us can forget what our separate futures will be like." She found both his hands now and held both of his hands. "I love you too, Lux Bonteri."_

 _Yes, his breathing was definitely getting more shallow as she slowly leaned in. She wasn't going to kiss him like he had she months ago on Carlacc. No, this was Onderon now. They could take their time._

 _Their lips touched, and hands detached, only to find new points of contact; his on her waist, hers into his hair. It was so different- still impressively soft._

 _One of his hands moved to what was supposed to be her neck, but jerked her hurt shoulder instead, causing her to wince a bit against him._

 _"Sorry." Lux breathed, immediately pulling away and looking quite flustered."I-"_

 _Quickly disregarding her pain, Ahsoka put a finger to his lip. "I have one night with you, Lux. And I don't want to ever forget it."_

 _His eyes widened when he realized what she wanted. What she was asking of him._

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _She leaned in to whisper in his ear a single word of confirmation. And then, with strength that surprised her, picked her up and carried her inside._

 **ooooooooooo**

Ahsoka indeed recieved her wish, in a way she could never have predicted.

Ever since she had begun her apprenticeship as Anakin's padawan, her body had gone through changes as she underwent conditions like extreme workouts and times without food or drink. She also lost a ton of weight. As such, her monthly cycle became... not so monthly, to sum it up.

So when she was two months late and on leave, she didn't think anything of it. Until she was getting sick almost every morning, and acting not herself. One morning, she nearly bit Anakin when he tried to wake her up.

That's when Barriss had given her the diagnosis.

And Ahsoka's entire world changed forever.

 **oooooooo**

In a way, Ahsoka needed to thank Barriss for blaming her as the Temple bomber.

That made her leaving much easier. She had a legitimate reason- one that didn't include her needing to admit that she had gotten pregnant.

One that left her open to returning to Lux, as she'd promised him. Her only promise to him, after the one night they'd spent together.

 _If the war ends, come back to me._ He had pleaded. _I will give up my status to be with the woman I love._

Ahsoka hesitated now, with her hand lingering on her abdomen. The baby inside her was hardly even the size of her fist, yet their force signature, as well as their heartbeat, was strong and powerful. So overwhelming that Ahsoka could not even consider ending the precious life inside her.

She could never forgive the Jedi Council's distrust,anyhow.

She had promised Lux she would go back to him. However, she didn't want to put him in the position her return would create. Pregnant with his child- no, she'd rather have the baby first, then return. As nice a man as Lux was, there was still the sliver of doubt inside her that wondered if he would respond poorly... especially as he had asked if they should take contraceptive. She had naïvely refused, thinking human/Togruta conception was impossible.

 _Well..._

The point was, Lux would not be able to refuse a real living baby. A baby that shared half his DNA, or more. A baby that would carry on the Bonteri family line. A baby that would bear Lux's name as their own if Ahsoka managed to bear her lover a son.

Knowing that her Jedi garb was already tight fitting enough without a pregnant belly, Ahsoka had ditched it for looser fitting, more comfortable pants and a maroon tunic. Maybe one day she would wear her jumpsuit again, one day after her baby was delivered.

Ugh, just thinking about how much worse her pregnancy was going to get made a sick feeling rise in her throat, and the long ride in this transport was staring to make her airsick, of all things! Ahsoka Tano, _airsick_?! That just didn't add up.

She unbuckled her restraint and turned around in her seat, leaning up against the back of the unoccupied seat in front of her and pulled her legs up to her chest. The back of the shuttle was much as the front- hardly filled, and of the occupants an overwhelming majority were Togruta, headed along with her to Shili.

Yes, Shili was where she would settle. Where she would _not_ be an outcast, and maybe, just maybe, be able to start over and rebuild her life in the remaining months until she returned to Onderon,Lux's baby in her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

As her pregnancy progressed, Ahsoka never imagined she had as much self-control or patience until seeing it exhibited in her now-everyday life. She also became more caring and sensitive toward her unborn child.

Almost daily, she checked into the baby's wellbeing while also trying not to peek into their gender, which was something she wanted to wait to see until they were born... no matter how much she wanted a girl. A girl because she knew if anything went wrong with Lux's acceptance of his baby, a baby girl would look more like her, with primarily Togruta futures. Nobody would guess it was Lux's child.

Lux's child they truly were, Ahsoka decided anytime she couldn't sleep or keep a meal down because of them. Some nights, she would stay awake at night and rub circles on her stomach to attempt putting the baby to sleep, though at nearly five months gestation he or she was more content to react to their mom's force signature and would press their head into the palm of her hand... to which Ahsoka would smile warmly.

 _I can't wait to meet you, little one._

Not only did the baby push harder, Ahsoka also felt a kick. A strong kick. Another assurance that everything was fine. Her smile grew wider in happiness and anticipation.

Ahsoka sighed and laid back with her knees bent, curling up a bit so that if she focused into the force really hard, she could hear the babe's tiny heartbeat, even stronger than what she had been hearing since the single scan she had received from Barriss.

 _This is the kind of thing Lux should be with me to hear._ She thought mournfully. Doctor's appointments, which she had no access to on Shili, would have been attended by both of them, seeing their baby together and hearing the heartbeat.

According to a typical Togruta gestation, Ahsoka only had about eight weeks to go. Eight weeks, which could easily turn into an eternity if she let time and worry consume her.

 **ooooooooooooo**

As the delivery of her child grew near, Ahsoka begun to reach out to fellow young women in her community. Apparently, young marriages and pregnancy was common in the rural Togruta culture and she didn't feel ashamed and left out. In fact, for the first time in her life, she felt welcome, even more so than in the Jedi temple.

She would have plenty of help when the time came, from new friends who understood exactly how she felt.

So when Ahsoka woke one night with her labour pains beginning, a few weeks late but not enough to worry anyone, given that she was carrying a hybrid, everyone around her was more than ready.

One of her new friends, a young mother named Dala, was at her side in an instant, with her own baby strapped to her back, giving Ahsoka an end goal to hope for as she breathed through pain and waited to push.

The worst part was that, being force sensitive, she could _feel_ her baby's fear and pain even as they were inside her. It was such and intimate, crucial moment: the baby hovering just above her hips, head down. _Everything_ was fine...

Except Ahsoka's hips were too small. Too undeveloped to separate easily for the baby to pass through. If she had been on Onderon, it would have been no problem. Doctors would have worked around it. But here, on Shili... There was no other way. Ahsoka was going to have to push.

She had already been waiting ten hours- ten agonizing hours of endless pain without end as her water refused to break, still insisting it wasn't time as the baby wasn't presented far enough. Not listening to Ahsoka's cries as she begged, _begged_ for the pain to stop. _Begged_ for Lux to miraculously appear at her side.

The force was only so powerful. Ahsoka was no healer- she couldn't will her body to conform and birth this baby quickly and easily.

"Lux." She panted, for the upteenth time in the last half of a day.

"Shh..."Dana soothed in response, refusing to allow her face to betray any worry for Ahsoka.

But she wasn't fooled.

Ahsoka's baby was crying now, crying through the force as she could do nothing but plead. She wished Barriss were here... Knew that her healer friend would know how to help her through this. But Barriss was... Oh, Ahsoka couldn't remember anymore. Not through the pain.

She gripped a fistful of blankets for dear life, and cried when the next long, agonizing contraction gripped her.

 _I'm going to die._ Ahsoka realized. _I'm going to die and never see Lux again and this baby is going to die with me and never know his father!_

 _His._

Ahsoka realized in that moment she had unintentionally, through the mix of the force and her thoughts and the baby's pleads, she had revealed her son. She was bearing a son.

 _No... I can't fail. I can't fail my son. I can't fail Lux._

With the force as her only cushion, Ahsoka released her pain and pleased that just for a split moment, that she could be a healer.

 _Oh, Anakin! Masters Obi-Wan and Plo! If you can feel me right now..._

And across the galaxy they must have heard her plea for help, and answered, not knowing why she was begging. Not knowing that she was in labor or even that she was pregnant.

 _You are strong._ Said a soothing voice in her mind. _You will not fail._

Her son's virtual cry consumed her again. And she responded with a push. Several more, over the course of many more hours.

Thirty-three hours after the ordeal began, Ahsoka's son entered the world with a mighty scream announcing his arrival. And Ahsoka wasn't focusing on the shock from her companion's face- she had momentarily forgotten that she was told that Togruta babies had no voice for the first several months of their lives- and was instead focusing on the translated cries emulating from her son's tiny, perfect, healthy body.

 _Mama._

 _Mama._

 _Mama._

Ahsoka wanted nothing more than to reach out and receive her son in her arms- oh, he was still screaming, it was such music- but something held her back.

 _Lux..._

But she couldn't feel guilty for him not being here. Couldn't wait for him now... Oh, but it was such a beautiful moment! His son was born! His son was here!

And Lux was oblivious. Somewhere on the other side of the Galaxy... He had no idea.

 _Not yet. But soon. Some day soon._

Tears of regret added to her tears of relief and joy and reached a climax as her son was placed in his arms.

Oh, he was perfect!

Ahsoka forgot all about wanting and pining for a daughter. No, that was all forgotten now.

"Hello, my little Lux."She could hardly speak more than a whisper, nor think enough to remember what name she would give her son on his seventh day of life.

Dana had dissapeared, no doubt to take care of her own baby or gossip about the fact that Ahsoka had birthed a human child.

Perfectly human. Little Lux was perfect.

It almost felt odd calling him that, but, such was the culture of both Onderon and Shili.

Slowly the high of meeting her son was over, and reality came back. The reality that Ahsoka really didn't care about tradition.

"Aidan." She christened him, then and there. "Aidan Lux Bonteri."

It would be the first and last time that she spoke his true name into Aidan's tiny human ears.

He had stopped crying as soon as he realized he was safe in his mother's arms.

Aidan had an odd wisp of blonde hair... For whatever reason, she didn't know. Oh! And his eyes were already open! They were pure Lux's, stormy blue.

 _Please, please don't let them lighten!_ She begged of whoever listened.

But Aidan's tiny nose was perfectly, wonderfully hers. And his skin would one day settle on a salmon tint, like a mix of hers and Lux's. For now, it was pink and red from the trauma of being born.

He was beautiful.

Ahsoka laid back and enjoyed the sensation of skin-to-skin contact with her baby. Aidan had instinctively gone straight to nurse, something she did not blame him for. Thirty three hours was a long time to go without food.

"Eat up, my son." She cooed."Grow big and strong."

Oh he was perfect! Ahsoka couldn't get over it as she ran her fingers over Aidan's tiny form upon her chest. He was perfect!

Nothing could convince her of the opposite. Not even the fact that he had cracked one of her pelvic bones as he was coming out, an injury that would hinder their reuniting with Lux for a few months.

"You are perfect." She declared to him as she gently touched one of his rosy red cheeks. In return, Aidan gripped one of her fingers in his tiny hands.

Mother and son locked eyes.

And a bond was forged that would never be broken.

 **ooooooooooooo**

Of all the people to pay her a call, Ahsoka never imagined it to be Bo-Katan. Especially not after the terms she had left her with after Carlacc.

"What do you want?"Ahsoka asked, rather crankily, seeing as she had nearly settled to bed with three-month-old Aidan, only to be woken by the commlink call.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but-" Even through the hologram,the leader of the Nite Owls looked embarrassed and reluctant to be admitting that she needed help. "I need you. Nobody else will listen to me."

"And what makes you think I will?"Ahsoka narrowed her eyes.

"Just hear me out!"Bo-Katan pleaded, waving her hands desperately."I heard you weren't a Jedi anymore."

"Yes..."

"But you could still fight like one, I assume."

"Yes..."Ahsoka didn't like where this was going. Especially when Bo-Katan leaned in with supposed fear.

"Maul. He's here. On Mandalore. We can't do anything to stop him- and the Jedi would just make matters worse. I pledged to my sister that I would keep Mandalore neutral. Republic involvement would make it worse. Please, Ahsoka." Pleaded the woman. "He and Death Watch are slaughtering us. Everyone. Even the children."

It was as if she knew exactly how to appeal to Ahsoka's maternal instincts. Not that she knew about Aidan. She would do anything to protect Aidan. Any child, really. But, if Maul was really back... Ahsoka's arm around him involuntarily tightened.

"I'm sorry, Bo-Katan." Ahsoka said. "I can't."

The Mandalorian reeled back in shock. "You can't? What are you, then? A coward?!"

"A mother."Ahsoka said, sharply. "Everyone wonders why I left the Order. Part of the reason was to keep my son safe."

"Your son?!"

"I have no way to protect him if I go off to help you. Nobody to leave him with. I just... I can't." She took a moment to run a finger down the side of Aidan's sleeping face. "Not alone. Sooner or later, I would need to call in people to help me. Republic armies. There's no way I could defeat Maul on my own. I can help you, but...We would have to do it my way. And I know you won't."

Her adversary turned friend deliberately pondered this. Then; a look came across her face. "Do it." She said, simply. "Please, help us."

"If that's what you want, I'll be there as soon as I can." Ahsoka told her, moving her hand down to Aidan's back as he slept on, oblivious.

Bo-Katan nodded, and hung up without another word.

After the call ended, Ahsoka groaned and leaned her head back. "What did I just do?"She asked herself and Aidan, who was unaware that his life was about to change.

Somehow, deep down, Ahsoka knew that facing Bo-Katan tomorrow was going to be the easiest part. Next would be calling in reinforcements. To Rex. And...

Her former life.

A sigh escaped her lips as she lay down until she was right next to her sleeping baby son.

"What am I going to do?"She repeated, lying him on top of her chest without waking him.

"What am I going to do?"

She was going to return to Onderon by the end of the week. Her hip had healed up, and she had made preparations with Lux and everything! Oh, that had been one difficult comm call as she had to refrain from revealing anything about Aidan. "Oh Lux look isn't he adorable!!!" She wanted to squeal through the half the call.

How worried would he be if she didn't come on schedule?

Oh well. She hadn't told Lux she was on Shili so there was no way he could find her.

"Oh, Lux."She whispered, running a hand through Aidan's blonde head of hair.

"I'm so sorry."


	3. Chapter 3

She received stares in the spaceports and on the shuttle. She was carrying around a human baby, after all.

Aidan held onto Ahsoka for dear life as his little head swiveled around, looking at all the new surroundings and people. Like usual, he was strapped to her chest, where one hand rested on her collarbone, gripping her shirt.

Ahsoka had changed back into her Jedi garb, something she hadn't worn ever since she got to Shili. Even with a little bit of remaining baby weight, it fit fine. Pregnancy had changed Ahsoka's body, but it was all over and good now. Togruta, even female, were tall, often six foot. The men were even taller. Ahsoka was now about five foot eight, and with the added muscle looked stronger and more athletic,maybe even more like a male,but that could be good.

Aidan had height in his favour. They say your height is determined by your grandparents, and Ahsoka's Togruta ancestors had all been tall. Lux's family was as well, from what he'd mentioned of his father and what she'd seen from his mother. Lux himself had been a bit under six foot when they'd last seen each other: he'd probably even off somewhere around six two.

Aidan babbled and bounced a bit in his sling, kicking into her side and she gently shushed him, kissing his forehead.

One thing about holding a baby was that it never got boring.

Aidan was constantly trying to pull at her lekku with his free hand, but she excused it because after all, he was a baby who wanted to get his hands on everything. As such, Ahsoka was having to constantly distract him or toss her lekku behind her shoulder, which was uncomfortable.

 _A_ _year ago, I wouldn't have been traveling like this. I would have had my whole legion around me, and I wouldn't have to be protecting them._

Carrying Aidan around no doubt made her appear vulnerable to certain people.

 _I'd like to see any of them try and attack me._

Aidan's head finally rested on her collarbone, where he began to blink off to sleep, just in time for Ahsoka to board the transport without too many problems. The only bag she had was mainly for Aidan anyway.

 _What if something happens to me?_ Ahsoka thought in the privacy of her own mind. Her grip subconsciously grew tighter on Aidan. _What if this really wasn't a good idea. I won't be able to keep Aidan with me while I fight. Where will he stay,and where will he go if something happens to me?_

 _To Lux?_

Ahsoka finally began to rummage through the bag. Finding Aidan's stuffed cat, something he had at all times, she turned it over and, finding the slight tear in its stomach, formulated a plan.

She had a few data chips left over from her time in the Jedi, and at least one of them was blank.

Recording a short message that would explain everything, she slipped it inside the stuffed toy. Hopefully, someone, not Aidan, would come across that if ever it needed be.

 **oooooooooooo**

As soon as she landed and met up with Bo-Katan, Ahsoka was already mapping out the call for help she would be sending to Rex to pass on to Anakin. I

It was incredibly painful to do.

She tried to make herself appear as different and asunaffiliated as possible, by donning new clothes and leaving Aidan out of the frame. In fact, she would be looking right at her son the entire time unless they answered from a different angle. Aidan was giggling at her and waving his toy in such a manner that it took all of her self control not to smile back.

Ahsoka wondered if she was strong enough to do this.

All she had to say was one simple paragraph. Starting with-

Oh, she could hear familiar voices in the background of the incoming transmission. Anakin was...

Anakin...

 _Master._ She wanted to call out to him as he came nearer.

But she couldn't.

Instead, gathering her breath into this one sentence, Ahsoka turned, assuming as power a pose as she could manage.

"Hello, master. It's been awhile."

And nearly burst into tears.

 **ooooooooooooo**

Meeting Anakin in person was a lot more difficult than Ahsoka could have ever imagined it. Not that she blamed Aidan for any of the awkwardness that arose.

"Ahsoka!"

She closed her eyes and turned.

Anakin was smiling as he ran up to her,but his pace slowed and his smile dropped as he neared her.

The influx of force energy that spiked up in Ahsoka's mind from Anakin's nearing flowed through her mind and straight to Aidan, who was rudely awakened.

Anakin had clearly been all set to hug her, but when he approached from the side where Aidan wasn't visible, all Ahsoka had to do was turn to completely stop him in his tracks.

"You-"His mouth opened wide and Ahsoka could tell he was taking a moment to analyze Aidan and his force signature. If his eyes, which had lightened to be exactly like hers didn't give it away-

"That baby... Is yours." He said awkwardly, gesturing to Aidan, who was oblivious to the situation and was trying to reach for Anakin.

"Yeah."

Anakin gazed down at her and the baby. "How did this happen?" "This" was now babbling and playing with one of Ahsoka's lekku.

"His name is Aidan."Ahsoka supplied. "And… I'm really not sure. I guess the force just thought it was a good thing to do."

"Hmmph." Anakin crossed his arms. "Do I need to send the Five-oh-First after whoever was dumb enough to dump you with him or...was it actually one of them."

"It's none of your business. That's what." Ahsoka snapped. _It's not Lux's fault I'm not letting him know yet._

Anakin raised his arms in surrender. "Look, Ahsoka. I'm sorry. I just- I'm concerned for you being out on your own. Especially with...Aidan."

At the sound of his name, Aidan turned his head. And, like babies often do, fixated his eyes on Anakin, unblinking. When Anakin saw this, he softened his face into a smile. "Hi there, bud. I guess you're my grand-padawan."

"Not a chance!"Ahsoka scoffed, but smiled a bit. "He's not force sensitive, I checked." She didn't add how thankful she was when Aidan's low midichlorian count came back from the test.

"Not force sensitive? With you as his mom!" Anakin looked again to the baby in question. "I guess we'll settle for nephew then."

Ahsoka couldn't resist a smile as Aidan launched into a stream of incoherent babbles when Anakin spoke of him. Then he leaned forward almost in a lunge so Ahsoka had trouble catching him. The Jedi Knight answered by lifting him up into his arms and making him giggle as he lifted him into the air.

Ahsoka was soon confronted by her past as the rest of the Five-Oh-First landed.

Giant AT-AT walkers towered over her head, with their smaller AT-ST cousins underneath them. Numerous tents were being set up, the medical tent noticeably bigger and identified by its big red cross on the front.

Men stop and stared at Anakin and Aidan. Some she recognized, some she didn't.

"Do I have a few minutes?"She asked Anakin, holding her arms out to reclaim her child."I need to take care of Aidan."

"Sure."Anakin said as he reluctantly handed Aidan back to her. Her son was still babbling in excitement as she adjusted him so he could once again look around at the new situation.

"Commander!"

She knew it was Rex before she even turned around.

"Rex!" She reaponded just as jubilant and surprised him with a careful hug.

Rex immediately stiffened as if he didn't know what to do. When she stepped back, he looked at her confusedly."Uhh…"

"Long story."She said."Walk with me?"

He nodded, and did.

Aidan was now staring at Rex. The clone captain had his usual stoic expression but was no doubt finding it hard not to smile.

Ahsoka found her way to the tent when Aidan started fussing.

"Yes, I know I was just getting to that."She said.

Rex read her mind and took the bag off her arm so she could sit down with Aidan.

"Is he okay?"Rex wondered. He wasn't used to babies and no doubt thought that the little one was in some way being harmed.

"I just have a few motherly duties to attend to."

"Oh."Rex said, looking down at the baby.Aidan was on his back now, after Ahsoka had set him down and began to get situated.

"Is there anything you need?" Ahsoka thought it was so cute, how Rex seemed so out of place and uncomfortable as he was not in control.

"A good night's sleep and a babysitter."Ahsoka said sarcastically and Rex chuckled."Sorry. The Kaminoans didn't exactly program me with fatherly instincts."

Aidan fussed again, kicking up his feet and sticking his hand in his mouth.

"I think he's beginning to teeth."Ahsoka said."That's why he's in such a bad mood." She blocked Rex's view for a moment, changed Aidan's diaper and then sat back.

"I know you've got questions, Rex, and I'm glad you aren't as forward about it as Anakin is. So sit, and I'll answer as many as I can."

Rex obeyed, sitting down across from her at Aidan's feet, with his helmet in front of him.

"Where did you go?"He asked."You didn't even say goodbye, and,now I understand why you never came back but…"

"I went home to Shili to have Aidan."Ahsoka said."Then it became dangerous, and Anakin called, so now I'm here."

"How have you done it?"He asked. "Raised a baby alone."

Ahsoka sighed."I really don't know. I mean, the birth was the hardest part. But other than that you feed them when they're hungry, change them when they're dirty and rock them to sleep and it's pretty easy going. I'm not used to sleeping anyhow."

"But you're alone." Rex said. "Who left you alone?"

Ahsoka looked at him. "I chose to be alone. I'm not ready for his father to know quite yet."

"Why?"

Ahsoka shrugged, then crawled so that she was beside Aidan. "He's already gotten so big. Hard to believe he was only born three months ago."She lamented aloud,changing the subject. "I've never had anyone to talk with about it."

"Again, I'm not familiar with babies."Rex said. All the same, he reached out and tickled the bottom of Aidan's bare feet. Baby and captain both smiled and giggled. "He just lays like that all day?"

"He prefers his stomach, but I'm trying to teach him to roll over. He's almost there."

Aidan babbled, waving his arms in the air. He lifted his head as much he could, saw Rex, and smiled. "Ba!"He babbled, reaching for him.

"Oh, no kid. I don't-"

"Oh, come on Rex! You know you want to!"Ahsoka coaxed."It's not like I'm asking you to change his diaper or anything."She added.

"I'm no good with kids."Rex tried to insist.

"You've told me about Saleucami. Hands out, captain!"

Rex reluctantly accepted the infant in his arms, looking nervous, but soon smiling.

"See? It's not so bad." Ahsoka said.

Aidan inspected the new individual with intense interest, then began feeling Rex's face.

"Kid-"Rex started but Aidan's hand was already in his stubble, feeling the odd sensation he didn't find on his mother.

Ahsoka laughed.

Soon Rex ventured out of his comfort zone and touched one of Aidan's rosy cheeks. "He doesn't have any teeth."He realized.

"Not yet. Real soon though, his fangs are coming in right now."

"Fangs?"Rex asked, and Ahsoka showed off hers."The only Togruta thing about him."

Aidan turned to Ahsoka while in Rex's arms, wondering what she had to say about this man. If Aidan could talk, he'd probably be asking if Rex was his father.

"No. He isn't."Ahsoka said in Togruti, shaking her head.

Aidan seemed to understand, but still laid his head down on Rex's pauldron.

The sound of a throat clearing startled all three of them.

"Am I interrupting something?" Asked a trooper that Ahsoka did recognize. "Hi,Jesse."

"Commander."Jesse grinned wide."Captain. Captain Jr."He said, looking at Aidan and wiggling his eyebrows.

"What!? He's not- He's not mine."Rex stuttered."This isn't what it looks like!"

"Not buying it!"Jesse waved it off."Skywalker wants us all in the command tent. You may as well bring the baby- We're all waiting to meet him."

Rex groaned in exasperation after Jesse left.

"Yeah, sorry."With Aidan's tan skin, blue eyes, and hair the shade of Rex's, it no doubt looked suspicious."They can assume all they want, though. It doesn't bother me."

"It kind of bothers me."Rex said, handing Aidan back.

"Jesse has been hanging out with Fives too much."Ahsoka said."He's acting just like him."

Rex's face immediately turned sad."Ahsoka, we lost Fives about six months ago."

"What?!"

Rex nodded. "And Kix."

Ahsoka let that sink in. "Rex, what happened?"

"Nothing."Rex said sharply, and, as if forgetting about his time with Aidan, briskly walked out of the tent, leaving mother and son alone,the former overcome with a melancholy mood, and the latter whimpering at the disappearance of a new friend.


	4. Chapter 4

All the men proved to be distracted by Aidan as he sat against Ahsoka's lap, entertaining himself with his stuffed cat.

Rex kept glancing his way. Other troopers noticed and nudged their brothers, pointing to the captain's interest in the baby who looked an awful lot like him.

Aidan's big eyes looked around at everyone, and he spent about ten minutes staring at Anakin as he talked.

"Maul and Death Watch have retaken Sundari."He was saying.

Ahsoka, of course already knew this, but the men didn't. Several of them exchanged looks. There were some gasps and "no" woven in here and there.

"He and his militants will keep us held back."Anakin continued. "We won't be able to break through. That's why I am glad you're here, Ahsoka."

Every eye in the tent turned to her. "Me?"

"You were here first. You know the place, so you can lead a mission to apprehend Maul and his henchman to-"

"Hold on a minute."Ahsoka interrupted. "Can we talk of this? Yes, I was here first, I called you for help, but I don't even have a weapon.Why do you think I can succeed?"

Several men began to murmur. Rex gave Ahsoka a sympathetic look.

"Talk with me outside." Anakin instructed Ahsoka. "Rex, take over from here." The captain nodded in affirmation.

Ahsoka huffed and stood,meaning to follow, but as soon as she made to leave Aidan held up his arms to her, whimpering.

It was Rex who scooped him up instead. Thank the force for him.

"I'm not your padawan anymore." Ahsoka began."You can't order me around. I can't just throw my life around like you want me to. I'm all Aidan has."

"I'm not asking you to do that Ahsoka, I'm-"

"It's a suicide mission!" She protested. "I'm not doing it. I can't lead men anymore, you know that. I'm not a Jedi anymore. You're much more powerful than I am and-"

"I'm leaving."Anakin interrupted.

"What!"

"The chancellor's been kidnapped. Obi-Wan and I have to go rescue him. I'm leaving the men with you."

"Anakin-!"

"And I'm promoting you to general in my absence. I'll leave a battalion of men for you. They're yours. Rex too."

"But-" Ahsoka felt an awful lot like she had on the day when she had lost most her squadron: unprepared, anxious, and scared.

"Ahsoka."Anakin sighed, and gripped her shoulders."I know it's a lot but…. I need you. Please?"

"I can't."Ahsoka stepped back, shaking her head. "If something were to happen to me-"

"Nothing's going to happen to you. Now here." He held out her old lightsaber and shoto. Her hands felt familiar around them, and the force shot through her.

"May the force be with you, General Tano." Anakin really wasn't taking no for an answer. "Now, go brief your men. I have a legion to move out."

"Anakin, wait."Ahsoka said before he walked away completely.

"After this, will you take me to see Padme?"

"Of course." He smiled.

Ahsoka hugged him, and felt him hug her back. She was happy to see him again, but for some reason, a dark feeling began creeping into her, engulfing her.

And then, it was gone as soon as Anakin left the embrace, and left her, as she had to him that year ago.

 **oooooooooooooooo**

When she returned to the tent alone, nobody seemed surprised. No doubt they already knew of Anakin's leaving.

The men she had left, minus those Anakin had taken,indeed amounted to a battalion. In the immediate circle of those in charge, Ahsoka saw Rex of course, a few lieutenants and sergeants, and Jesse, who she now noticed bore the equipment of an ARC.

Good for him.

Coric had his eyes set on little Aidan, watching him with intense worry and wincing anytime Aidan would tumble around with a giggle.

At the moment, he sat in the middle of the circle, up to the point where he could hold the position for about two minutes before he would fall over.

When she cleared her throat, everyone snapped to attention. "At ease." She said, the words being hard to muster.

These men were trained to resist distractions. Now that she was talking to them, they focused on her and her only, even as Aidan babbled and waved his toy around at their feet.

Not even Rex's eyes shifted.

"General Skywalker left us a big job, men, and I'm going to need one hundred percent from you if this is going to work. Are you with me?"

"Sir! Yes Sir!"

She smiled at them. "Very good. Now here's the plan.."

 **ooooooooooooooo**

After she dismissed her men, Ahsoka picked up Aidan, who had waited until the last moment to begin crying out of hunger, and retreated to her tent.

She noticed that Aidan was extra fussy, not wanting to nurse for as long as usual or just being irritable, squirming about as she tried to hold him still.

"You know I love you."She chided. "But I can't be paying attention to you every second. I have a job to do now."

Aidan made a sound like a hiccup while he stared at her, unimpressed with her excuse.

Ahsoka sighed and sat up, leaning back on her bedroll with her knees in the air. Aidan was leaned against them as he faced her, waving around his toy before he stuck it in his mouth.

"Aidan,no."Ahsoka gently reached and held onto the toy before he protested with a screech.

"No."She repeated.

But he stood his ground, turning his head and facing away from her. "You're too stubborn… Like me. Though, I guess that's my fault, isn't it."

"General?" Asked a voice outside her tent.

At first, Ahsoka didn't answer before realizing that she was in fact the general.

"Come in."

Aidan let out a happy chirping noise when Rex entered.

 _It's almost as if he associates any male he sees as being his father. Will he be this happy when we see Lux?_

"I brought Coric by to check up on him. You said he was in a bit of pain?"

"He's just teething, Rex, but Coric, if you could do anything to make it easier on him, or just tell me if anything's wrong,it would be greatly appreciated. I honestly haven't taken him to any real doctor yet."

"I'm more accustomed to grown ups than babies,"Coric admitted with a hint of sarcasm. "But I've crammed as much as I could as soon as I saw you with him."

Aidan eyed Coric when he came close to him, cautiously still until Ahsoka moved to sit protectively behind him, reassuring him in Togruti.

"Hey, bud. I'm just going to do you a check over, okay?" Coric's voice was surprisingly soft as he sat in front of Aidan and then picked him up.

"Were there any complications with pregnancy?" He inquired.

"Well, I'm not sure how it was supposed to go. And plus, he being mostly human caused me to be pregnant for almost a full month longer than Togruta women typically did."

Coric pondered this."I didn't know the gestation period could change based on the baby."

"Me neither. My friend helped deliver him, and she said I was the longest delivery she'd ever attended. I don't know if that means much- The delievery was complicated, though. I broke a pelvic bone in the process."

Rex's eyes widened in shock. "You-"

"How long was it?" Coric interrupted.

"At least a day and a half."

"Ahh. Average time for a first baby is half that."

Aidan giggled a bit when Coric touched his belly and limbs, especially when the medic gave him a few tickles.

"Will you stay with him and watch him while I'm gone?"Ahsoka asked.

"Sure."Coric agreed. "So is he teething yet?" He gently opened Aidan's little mouth to feel for any bumps in the gums. Before Ahsoka could warn him, Aidan chomped down on his finger, and Coric wheeled back in surprise, causing the baby to startle and begin to cry.

From beside Coric, Rex noticeably stiffened.

"Yeah, he's teething all right."Coric said as he shook his hand. "A bit early, though."

"As long as it's not too early." Ahsoka said.

"I can't help much, with supplies being more adult centered and all. But I'll look for anything I can find."

"Thank you."Ahsoka said, meaning it. Having someone who knew slightly more than she did was helpful.

"I'll just get his weight and height after he's calmed down a bit."Coric eyed the distraught baby."Sorry about that, little man."

Aidan paid him no heed as he was retreated to the safe haven of Ahsoka's arms. Soon, Coric left, leaving Rex to watch over them.

"Do you need anything?"He asked her.

Ahsoka shook her head."Not that I can think of, Rex. Thanks. I just need to get him to bed and…"The rest of her thought remained unspoken. This may be the last night she has with her son if something were to happen in the future.

"I understand. See you tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

Aidan was still asleep when Ahsoka woke up the next morning, early, in preparation for the coming battle.

She turned on her side to look at her son, who was her everything right now. If something were to happen to Aidan, she would go on a rampage to find whoever did it and probably kill them, and then herself. If anything were to happen to Ahsoka herself….. Who knew what would happen to Aidan.

That's why this whole plan was so terrible.

Ahsoka let Aidan sleep a few more moments, observing his tufts of blonde hair and the way his face was slowly beginning to look the same shape as hers as he began to slowly lose all the baby fat around his cheeks and jaw.

"Remember what I told you last night."She whispered. "I love you, and if anything happens to me lots of other people love you too. Rex will take care of you, he'll make sure you get to your daddy, okay?" It was an empty promise,she knew, but she did know that Rex would be smart enough to figure it out if he really tried.

Aidan hardly stirred during all this as she picked him up and began to walk over to the tent where Coric waited. All around, men were getting ready, putting on armour and whatever else they needed.

Aidan still slept as she carried him around, and Ahsoka almost wished he would stay asleep to make it easier to leave. If he were to wake up, his tears would make it near impossible.

When it was time, Coric arrived to take Aidan from her. She kissed his forehead one more time before handing him over, still sleeping.

It wasn't until she had marched far away that she heard his cries through the force. Rex had to gently push her along to keep her focused.

"I'll get you back to him.I promise."

* * *

Ahsoka did her best to stay focused. She really did. But no matter how she tried, she couldn't get the images of Aidan's troubled, crying face out of her mind.

It had been too long. This siege was taking too long.

"General?"Bo-Katan, the leader of the Nite Owls interrupted Ahsoka's lamentations.

"Sorry."Ahsoka said."I'm just distracted."

Bo-Katan cast some kind of look, and then went back to the map.

Outside their building they used as base, chaos reigned true as the two sides clashed, adding to Ahsoka's headache.

"I'll get Maul."She finally said. "He's been wary to show himself since I've gotten here, but I'll find him."

 _The sooner I beat him, the sooner I get back to Aidan._

Rex stiffened."Ahsoka…"He began to chide and then cut off from her stare. He knew there was no changing her mind.

"Rex, listen to Bo-Katan. I'll be back soon." With that, she leapt out a window and began her stealth mission to find Maul's headquarters. She crept along roofs, resisting the urge to stop and help her men, but she knew she couldn't.

 _My mission is clear._

Ahsoka continued her trek until she encountered none other than the former sith lord himself.

Mandalore was burning all around her. The battle may have been far away, but the aura continued for miles.

Yet here, this courtyard, one of the few places untouched by the fire outside, would provide the arena for their duel.

"Oh come now,Lady Tano! Where's your army now?"he teased, and she gripped her sabers tighter.

"Busy defeating yours."

"It's so nice that they sent you out to spare me much exertion of a real fight. You're not even a real Jedi."

"And you're only half a sith." Ahsoka retorted.

But he was right.

 _I'm no Jedi.I'm far from it. I'm a mother, for crying out loud. That's about the complete opposite_.

Maul's taunts dealt some blows to her, but she didn't give him the pleasure of seeing it. Maul talked of the way Anakin had treated her and cast her out, how she yearned to impress him, on and on until finally-

"That's not true!"She shouted, and he jumped.

Her lightsabers blocked his swing to her head and with all her strength, she fought back.

"Now!"

And the trap was sprung, Maul was trapped in the ray shield as Ahsoka deactivated her lightsabers and Rex, Jesse and a few others came up behind her.

"You lose."She said.

Maul's response was to laugh, which irritated her.

"Do I, now?"He said cryptically, before the electric pulse shot through the shield and knocked him unconscious.

"Take care of him."Ahsoka commanded, waving off the image of Maul's body.

"Comma- I mean, General."Rex asked, trotting up to be beside her."Do we kill him, or-"

"Send him to the Jedi temple."

"I'll have Jesse ensure he gets there."Rex said.

Ahsoka meant to return to camp, and Aidan, as quickly as she could. However, to her slight annoyance, she found herself caught up in a conversation with Bo-Katan.

She endured it, though. Just barely. Patience had never been her strong suit.

By the time the conversation had finished, the confirmation of the departure of Jesse and a few other select men came. They would take Maul, under high supervision (including force resistant handcuffs and other fun things to keep him in line)

Who knows where the Jedi Council would send him.

Rex came up behind her to walk with her as she meant to go back to the base and retrieve her son.

All around,remaining men were cleaning what they could, saving who they could, and comforting their brothers.

"I'm glad this will be my last battle. I don't know how I will survive, especially with Aidan to look after." Ahsoka told Rex.

"You were very brave to keep him like you did. Had I been in your position, I doubt I would've been able to."

"Motherhood forms a strong bond, even before birth."Ahsoka said."I don't expect you to understand, but I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to… you know."

"I understand."Rex nodded his head."He's very lucky to have you."

"I only hope I can take care of him. And myself. If I keep doing this and eventually something happens to me…" Again, it was unthinkable. And Rex didn't expect her to explain.

"Listen,I-"Rex cleared his throat. "I know that, I'm not his father, and can't be, much to the men's disappointment."

Both of them chuckled a bit.

"But I can be a helpful uncle. You won't tell me Aidan's father, and I respect that. But before you take him off I want to give you this, to help take care of him." Rex held out a small pouch, filled with credits.

"Rex, no. I can't. You know-"

"Ahsoka. Take it. For Aidan. You don't need to use any of it. But I guarantee the little one will need it until you two figure yourselves out."

Ahsoka stared at the credits. It was true, she hardly had funds. This had to be Rex's savings. All of them. She couldn't...

"What would I use it for?"He pointed out.

"Thank you."She said, and embraced him.

While they hugged, Rex's commlink beeped, but he didn't move to answer, which surprised Ahsoka.

After a few moments, a group of men stood and came to approach them. But something seemed… Odd. Dark

"Men, I don't want to hear anything about-"Rex started; referring to the rumour that he and Ahsoka were, "an item".

But none of the men opened their mouths to speak. Instead, they glanced at each other, seemingly nervous.

"Men? What's going on?"Rex asked firmly, and it caused Ahsoka even more alarm to see Rex's eyes narrow and his fingers grip the pistol in his holster. He looked almost as if he had seen this before.

"Stand down."Rex commanded, when the troopers gripped their weapons too. He gently pushed Ahsoka back behind him.

"Rex,what's-"She began, but then he pushed her.

"Run!"He yelled seconds before shots, coming from her own men, erupted from the blasters of the troopers.

Ahsoka ran, hearing Rex's booming, infuriated voice as she did so.

She didn't understand what was going on. The men had fired on her. Her men had fired on her.

As she ran, her thoughts moved to Aidan as soon as she felt alarm light up her force bond with him.

Tears making their way down her face, she continued to run. Scared of what would have happened to Aidan. To any of her friends. Anakin, Obi-Wan…

 _Anakin_.

She realized the darkness that had engulfed her at their last talk was nearly the same as the one that had come over her before the men had shot at her.

 _Oh, Anakin._

 _What happened?_


	6. Chapter 6

She shouldn't have to be doing this,using her lightsaber against her own men.

Ahsoka didn't understand what was happening, and doubted the men did either. So as such she only disarmed them and knocked them out.

She rushed many miles in a force induced run, covering an outstanding distance in just a few minutes.

Her mind was set on one thing: get her son, find out what's going on, and get out.

The thing she didn't understand was: why her? And why didn't Rex seem to be affected?

Would they be after Aidan too?

The thought spurred her on.

It was hard for Ahsoka to believe that she could care so much for one person, or maybe it was natural since he was her son. She remembered when he was just a little thing, a little newborn and she had been so scared of messing up. Of doing something wrong.

She had gone through so much to keep him, to care for him these few months. If something happened now…

Soon enough she stopped hearing Aidan's cries through the force and began hearing them through her actual montrals. She had reached camp in record time, and the only troopers around seemed to be Coric and a few others who were in no shape to fight.

She leaned her head into the medic tent, looking for her son.

Aidan was on a pile of blankets, crying his eyes out. When he saw her, he began crying harder still, reaching out his arms and howling so much that Ahsoka winced, afraid that Coric would come over. But no, he was thankfully busy with something else. Moving silently, Ahsoka put a finger to her lips.

After a few seconds, Aidan mimicked the action, his cries slowly returning to normal. Ahsoka was just about to sneak to him when Coric noticed Aidan's silence.

"What's up, buddy? Why have you gone so quiet?" He asked, walking forward to stand in front of Aidan, blocking Ahsoka's view.

She cursed when Coric picked him up.

Ahsoka retreated from the tent, contemplating her plan of attack.

 _At least I know he's okay._

She stayed hidden around the corner when she heard speeders approaching. Rex and some men were returning.

 _Rex, help me please. Help me save my son._

He still didn't seem affected by whatever the strange affliction was.

"Ahsoka!"Rex hissed when he saw her. "You shouldn't be here!"

"I need Aidan."She said back.

"I'll get him. Just get out of here; take my speeder and go!"

"Go where?"

"I dunno. Just send me the coordinates when you're done. I'll meet you with Aidan. I promise."

As much as it pained Ahsoka to leave once again, she did. As soon as she saw her chance, she ran.

And she didn't look back.

* * *

The minutes seemed to melt away at the speed of glaciers as Ahsoka waited for Rex to return with Aidan.

She had just taken the speeder and gone in one direction, away from the base and the battlefield. Finally, she just sat down and waited, contemplating what had happened.

Ever since her troopers had fired on her, all she had felt was pain, terrible pain, like thousands of Jedi voices all being tortured and silenced.

Perhaps that's what it was.

And it still continued.

Ahsoka tried to close her eyes and meditate, but she couldn't manage the simple task with all that was going on.

Finally, the whirring sound of a speeder and the sweet giggle of a baby brought her attention to the east.

She jumped up as Rex dismounted, with Aidan clinging to his chest. The baby began to bounce and perforn makeshift gymnastics moves as he tried to free himself from Rex's grip and get to mama.

When Ahsoka finally took him in her arms, she couldn't help but hold him close and kiss him repeatedly, in a way that would embarrass him if he was older.

Rex watched the scene with what must have been amusement, then it faded when Ahsoka looked at him.

"I think you know what we need to do?"

"What?"Ahsoka asked.

"Split up."He said, grimly. "And probably fake our deaths too."

"Or at least mine."Ahsoka pointed out.

Aidan cooed and began happily playing with his mother's lekku, bouncing and babbling a song to himself as he was overcome with happiness from seeing mama again.

Rex went back to the speeder and took something from the back. It was a makeshift shovel.

"Rex you don't have to-"Ahsoka began, but he waved her off.

"I want to."He said."You take care of him. I need to think."

Ahsoka knew what Rex was feeling: rage at his brothers. He felt as betrayed as she did.

"Why weren't you affected?"She asked him.

Rex paused digging for a moment. "I took my chip out. Fives warned me about it and so I did." He dug the shovel down with increased fervor.

"It was Order 66."He added.

Ahsoka didn't want to ask, and she sensed Rex didn't want to tell.

She refocused her energy on Aidan, who was contentedly playing in her lap. She bounced him and lifted him up above her head as he giggled.

"Aaaah."He droned, babbling, and stuck his hand in his mouth.

"You're going to hurt yourself."She chided.

He looked at her with big eyes and then looked behind her shoulder and began to stare at Rex as he worked. He reached out and babbled.

"You're too young to help."His mother said.

"Rex,were you able to grab his bag?"

"Check the speeder."He grunted back, wiping his brow. Even for a man trained to withstand heat in armour, he was burning up. And now that he had the freedom to, he had stripped off his armour and the top of his bodysuit as he dug.

Ahsoka hadn't even needed to ask him to. Rex's face was stern, hardened by the battle and the recent events that plagued both of them. Hard work was how Rex escaped from reality. Right now, that work was digging their graves.

The very thought was enough to make Ahsoka feel sick. _Our graves._

She took a moment to feed a fussy Aidan, then changed him and began to coax him to sleep. By the time Rex had finished, Aidan was gone.

Ahsoka and Rex stood at the foot of their side by side graves in silence, until Rex cleared his throat.

"Well, I don't know what happened in the past or what's going to happen next, but I do know that it's my fault. My fault and mine alone for not ordering each and every trooper under my command to remove their chip. So I'm sorry, Ahsoka. I'm sorry."

It was as if she really had died, and he was speaking to her dead body at a funeral.

"Rex, I don't blame you."Ahsoka said, taking her turn."I'm a new person now, and I'll be stronger, despite being just as confused as you. I won't remember this day as the day your men tried to kill me, but instead I'll remember all the other times we shared, from the Battle of Christophsis to the… To the Siege of Mandalore."

Rex now turned to her and the sleeping baby. "So this is goodbye, I guess?"

Ahsoka nodded, biting her lip.

"Anakin left you a ship."Rex said, and punched a few buttons on his wrist console, that would call the ship to her. After it came, he dropped the console and shot it to where it would be unuseale. "I'll sneak back, take one of ours and get wherever I'm going next. To the Outer Rim, away from this new Empire."

"Is that what they call it?"Ahsoka asked.

"Palpatine declared himself Emperor."Rex confirmed.

"Palpatine."Ahsoka growled.

Rex narrowed his own eyebrows in agreement. "We should get going."He finally said."Remember, if you need me, I'm just a call away."

After Rex had turned and began to walk, Ahsoka was left in stiff silence.

 _Just a call away…._

Tears formed in her eyes and she quickly wiped them. No, it was time to be strong now. Strong for Aidan.

She contemplated taking her lightsabers, calling them back to her but knew that she couldn't. She had a blaster and the Force. No Jedi, even one such as her, was ever without a weapon.

When her final goodbyes to the false grave and her past life were gone, she turned her back and left them, along with her lightsabers,buried by their hilts in the dirt.

With Aidan in one hand and their single bag in the other, she boarded her new ship, and left for the Outer Rim.


	7. Chapter 7

Aidan began to fuss as soon as Ahsoka had boarded the ship. In fact, as Ahsoka put in coordinates, he burst out into full on tears. Even at his young age it was as if he somehow knew that they weren't going where he wanted to go.

"What's wrong?" Ahsoka cooed, even though she could tell through their force bond exactly what it was.

Aidan wailed louder and began bouncing up and down, waving his fists and as such, whacking into Ahsoka's back.

"No."Ahsoka said sternly, grabbing his wrist loosely in one hand enough to stun him.

Aidan stared at her a moment.

"Don't hit."

Her son stopped swinging, but still cried.

 _I don't know where we're going but I know it's not to daddy!_ Ahsoka translated.

"Aidan we can't go there. Not anymore."She said, just as saddened."As much as I want us to be together, I need to protect you. It's not safe for me to go to your father because then we'll all be in danger."

Still unconvinced, Aidan cried some more.

Ahsoka finally resorted to letting him cry himself to sleep again.

Ahsoka didn't understand how one person could sleep as much as Aidan did. Technically, he was only a baby.

Ahsoka was thankful for the quiet. She leaned back in the pilots chair, then rearranged Aidan to be on top of her chest. For extra comfort, she put her legs up.

She almost began to doze off herself when her commlink beeped, causing her to yawn and blink her eyes.

Was it safe to answer?

She hadn't set the scramble code yet, which meant it could be anyone.

Her better judgement won over and she let it ring out, waiting to hear the message to determine who it was from. Then she would destroy the commlink, and rupture any affiliation to her old life.

The commlink beeped once, indicating that the message had been left.

As soon as she heard who it was from, it was like someone had driven a knife into her and was slowly twisting.

Without a second thought, she dropped the commlink, crushed it under her boot and resumed her position of comfort, with Aidan snuggling closer to her.

 _I think it's better for both of us if he thinks I'm dead. It would certainly be easier. More painful, but easier._

 _I will already struggle enough to protect Aidan alone. I won't be able to protect Lux too. No, it isn't worth it. I should just let him mourn me, and then let him live his own, safe life, without us._

 _Maybe one day we'll see each other again._

Finally the realization hit her: that she was turning away from Lux. Letting him believe that she was dead and that he could live a new life, possibly find a new lover, and a new family. Maybe he'll even have some more kids of his own. As a senator, he would no doubt be pressured to marry "for the good of Onderon".

Hopefully he would still find love.

They probably should have been smarter about the actions they had took. Certainly, letting Lux go would be much easier if they hadn't have conceived a child. Ahsoka would have never foreseen herself getting pregnant with Aidan, maybe because her monthly cycles were so out of whack ever since she had been sent to the battlefield.

But there was no reason to regret now. Aidan was a miracle and the highest point in her life.

"Where should we go, bud?"She asked, speaking as much to the sleeping Aidan as she was to an invisible R2-D2.

She decided on a planet that seemed to be for the most part, focused on trading.

Trading meant ships. Ships meant repairs. Repairs meant…. Work, potentially.

If there was one thing Ahsoka knew for sure, it was that she would do everything to keep her and Aidan on their feet. She'd give up her food so he could eat and work long into the night. The money Rex gave her would be invested, only a few credits to be used when she arrived on Thabeska.

"Well, son."She whispered."Here goes nothing."

* * *

The ship Anakin had given her was in pristine condition, and as such Ahsoka planned to get a lot of credits for it, so she could buy a new ship later. It would be safer to keep changing ships at every new shipyard she encountered, and be known as a new name.

Aidan would be fine. He was a nobody to the Empire, unknown to everyone except her clones and Anakin. The clones would have no interest in him now that Ahsoka was "dead". If Aidan had been force sensitive he'd be dead too. And Anakin was dead also.

Aidan woke up to the harsh sunlight overhead and Ahsoka reattached the sling, putting him in it and letting her hands for once be free.

Shouldering her bag, she walked off of her ship, probably for the last time.

She looked around for an official looking person to talk to. People, mostly workers and droids milled about.

Aidan was excited to be in such a new place with so many new people. He babbled and tugged on Ahsoka's shirt and pointed in various directions like "Who's that!"

Ahsoka told him the names of all the species. Human,Twi'lek,Wookie, Duros, Rodian,Zabrak… "Do you recognize that species?"She pointed at an older male Togruta.

Aidan bounced and nodded while he pointed back at her.

"That's right, he's Togruta too."

Ahsoka must have looked pretty lost, because soon a human male dressed in well-off robes approached her. "Are you looking for someone?"He asked kindly.

"No, I'm just looking for somewhere to stay for me and my son.I'm looking to sell my ship and live here for a while."

"So need work do you?"He asked."Well, you've come to the right place. Fardi needs workers! Are you a pilot, by chance? Perhaps a mechanic?"

"I'm both,actually." Ahsoka said."Though I prefer to do more of the mechanical work with my son being here."

"Yes, yes of course!" The man thought for a moment."You won't need that big of a place, will you?"

"No."Ahsoka shook her head.

"Well, I'll give you a suggestion. If you work for Fardi, I will give you money for your ship as well as a dwelling for you and your son. It's as good as it gets, you won't find a better deal around here with these other guys."

Ahsoka wondered if that were true, but still decided to trust the man. "I accept."She said.

"Wonderful! If you come with me now we can work out the details and my girls will show you to your place. If you need anything, you just let Fardi know." The man, Fardi, she assumed it was safe to call him, smiled.

Ahsoka wasn't used to people acting this friendly to newcomers, but she smiled back just the same. Aidan did too, showing off his growing fangs.

"How old is the baby?"Fardi asked as they walked.

"Almost four months old."

"Ah, I remember when my girls were that old. But I don't remember them being able to hold their heads up like this little one can."

Aidan was suddenly shy and hid his face in Ahsoka's shoulder.

"He's growing up."Ahsoka agreed.

"I don't believe I've gotten your name yet, by the way." Fardi said.

"Oh, uh, forgive me. My name is Ashla. This is Aidan."

"Welcome to Thabeska,Ashla."

Ahsoka looked at her new home. Ashla and Aidan could survive here, she knew. Ahsoka may have a difficult time, however.

That's why it was time for Ahsoka to be buried in the past. In the grave on Mandalore.

"Thank you, Fardi."Ahsoka said,doing her best to seem like a normal being, not an on the run Jedi.

Ahsoka was shown to her new home by a whole gaggle of girls, whose ages ranged from barely walking to about Ahsoka's age. The younger ones talked away, all at once so Ahsoka could barely hear them. They all wanted to see Aidan, who still hadn't yet come out of his shell.

"Thank you, girls."She said,"tell your father thank you."

"He's our uncle!"One of the little ones said.

"Oh, excuse me, your uncle."Ahsoka corrected with a smile.

"Bye!"The girls chorused and ran off quickly, chattering as the younger ones fell a few times and were picked up by the older ones.

Ahsoka laughed to herself and then entered her new apartment. It was all she needed, with a bed big enough for her and Aidan to sleep side by side. There was also a mat on the floor and a 'fresher and a kitchenette.

"I think we'll be good here, son."Ahsoka said, setting Aidan down on the mat as she began to organize.

He could hold himself up now, Ahsoka noticed. She was very pleased. As much as she wanted Aidan to stay tiny and cute forever, he needed to grow up fast if he were to survive.

"Maahhh."He babbled and tried to crawl forward, landing with a slight bang when his arms gave out.

"Silly boy."Ahsoka shook her head and picked him up, cradling him close and kissing his head to stop his crying.

Aidan was a resilient little baby and soon forgot his pain, babbling and pointing to things around the apartment for Ahsoka to tell him the name of.

"You know what? I think it's time for a bath."She finally decided.

Aidan chirped in alarm and began to squirm.

"Do you want me to drop you?"Ahsoka exclaimed and tightened her grip. "Look Aidan, it's a bath, everyone needs them."

Aidan continued to fuss and began to wave and hit again.

"Too bad."Ahsoka said. "You need one. We both do. We're all dusty from Mandalore."

Aidan wasn't hearing any of it. He screamed and thrashed.

"Your father wouldn't want you dirty."Ahsoka finally said, exasperated. If this is him now, how will his terrible twos be?!

Aidan slowly began to calm down.

 _Ah, so now I know the secret. I just mention "his father" and he listens._

"That's better." Ahsoka carried a now compliant Aidan into the 'fresher and undressed him. "You need new clothes."She muttered. "I'll start buying ahead of your size so it's harder for you to outgrow."

Aidan was already exploring the bathtub he had been set in. Baths on Shili weren't done in a bathtub like this, they were done in a literal tub. This was a much needed upgrade.

Ahsoka glanced at the products on the wall. They were clearly for humans, things such as shampoo.

"Well, let's see how this goes."

Aidan was perfectly fine to sit still while Ahsoka poured water over his head. The amount of stuff that came off in the water was enough to discolour it as it went down the drain and was replaced by good clean water.

Ahsoka of course had never used shampoo before,but Aidan would need it. She lathered some up in her hands and then massaged it into Aidan's hair. He had an awful lot of it for his age, no doubt he'd inherited Lux's thick hair.

"And I suppose I just wash it?"Ahsoka asked rhetorically and Aidan babbled his agreement. So Ahsoka poured some more water, but wasn't aware of the effects that shampoo could have on exposed eyes.

Aidan wailed as soon as he had come in contact with the stuff.

And Ahsoka began to hastily try to wash it away and keep Aidan from wiping his eyes and making it worse. Finally she succeeded in washing the last of the suds from his hair and wrestling her son into a towel.

"There."She said."That wasn't so bad."

Aidan could have argued otherwise, but he was for now content to hold onto Ahsoka with one hand and bury his face to her shoulder as she walked around the room, a bounce in her step to lull him to sleep once again.

As much as Ahsoka loved her son, nap times were her favorite time of day. Because now she could shower and eat for herself, in preparation for Aidan waking up in a few hours.

Tonight she finished off the rations she had from their time on Mandalore. She knew they'd need to find real food soon, because if Ahsoka herself wasn't nourished, by consequence Aidan wouldn't be either, since he didn't yet eat solid food.

So tonight she sat on the mat next to the bed where Aidan rested, chewing quietly, and wondering what tomorrow would bring.

Ahsoka Tano wasn't ready for tomorrow. But Ashla was.

Ashla would manage her new life of Thabeska.

When Ahsoka was finished eating she disposed of the trash and then decided that she could do with a rest too. Maybe not a nap, but just some quiet.

She crawled onto the bed beside Aidan and let herself curl up protectively around him.


	8. Chapter 8

Ahsoka groaned and yawned, stretching out her arms. Aidan was awake and making his presence known, droning a "m" sound and clambering over her.

"Hi Aidan."She yawned again.

Aidan continued making his babbling noises, occasionally a chirp. It was a very Togruta set of sounds, able to be made by the way their fangs were in their mouth.

Aidan was human enough to have a voice immediately after birth, but most Togruta babies began chirping around twelve weeks old.

They said a mother could identify her baby by his chirp, and vice versa, but that wasn't something Ahsoka wasn't quite able to do yet. If you put Aidan in a room with a bunch of other babies, Ahsoka would cheat and use the force to locate him.

Aidan kept chirping, occasionally stopping to hiccup, cough or even burp.

"Practicing?"Ahsoka asked, then chirped back to him. Hers was much sharper, mostly because she had more air and bigger fangs.

Most people weren't aware of the fact that Togruta chirped. Mostly because it wasn't seen as something that outsiders needed to know. It was an intimate way of communicating between mother and child. Ahsoka had never chirped ever since she left Shili until she had Aidan.

They chirped a few more times, back and forth until Aidan grew tired and began asking for breakfast.

An observation that Ahsoka had made lately was that Aidan seemed to need a lot more food to function. Maybe it was time to introduce soft foods?

She'd look that up.

She knew that Aidan had fangs, but would he be carnivorous like she was? She didn't know when human babies started eating meat, but Togruta babies were able to digest it pretty much after they had fangs to tear it.

Just in time after Aidan had finished, there was a knock at the door.

Lifting Aidan to her arms, Ahsoka opened it and was met by most of the same group of girls from yesterday.

"Uncle says to come see him, he has work for you!"

"Already?"Ahsoka asked. She hadn't prepared for this. She had Aidan still. What would she do with him?

"We can watch the baby!" One of the youngest girls suggested.

"Shh, you don't just ask to watch the baby!"Her older sister hissed.

"But I want to! He's cute!"

During all this banter, Ahsoka was focused on the youngest of the group. The toddler stared at her with big,intelligent eyes. There was just something about her…

Aidan making an abrupt move to dive out of Ahsoka's arms brought her quickly back. "Well, I…"She began."If you could watch him, that would be great. Just be very careful, and stay where I can see you."

"Yay!"The girls cheered.

"But first, take me to your uncle."

"Follow us, Ashla!"They exclaimed, and after heaving Aidan up,she was on her way.

As promised, the girls stayed where Ahsoka could see them and observe as she worked.

It wasn't a hard job, just repairing a ship that needed a lot of work. It may take a few days.

After working for nearly half the day, Ahsoka began to feel Aidan's fatigue mixed with her own. It was the point that she didn't hear his chirps as frequently and it was likely he had fallen asleep.

 _I wonder if I get a break_ ,Ahsoka thought to her self as she wiped her brow. All that was left of this particular job was a hyperdrive issue, which she began to work on. It seemed that she had worked more efficiently than ever that day, finishing in half her normal time.

She wondered if it had something to do with being slightly more relaxed with Aidan being looked after.

 _But how could I be relaxed, with this whole Order 66 going on?_

Ahsoka had long since finished her job, and now sat in the pilot's seat, pondering this issue until she heard a male voice call her name. Or, Ashla's name.

She quickly jumped up and jogged down the ramp to meet Fardi. He was looking amazed at her handiwork.

"Incredible."He breathed."This has been waiting years to be fixed. Yet you completed it in a single day!"

"Oh, well."Ahsoka shrugged, sheepishly."I'm just familiar with the issues."

"I will have one of my pilots test fly it tomorrow."Fardi declared."And for your work today, I doubt I will have problems finding more ships that need fixing. However, you worked hard today. Have tomorrow off!"

Ahsoka had never heard that before. She was never rewarded like that before for a job like this.

"Thank you."She finally was able to tell the smiling Fardi.

"And it seems that you have found some good babysitters."He continued, gesturing to his nieces and Aidan. "They will work for free."

Ahsoka was very thankful for the Fardi clan. In more ways than one. They provided a job and help for her.

"Thank you, girls."Ahsoka said, after completing her conversation with Fardi and walking to them. "It looks like you did a good job."

Ahsoka had no shot at remembering all their names, no matter how many times they were introduced, so instead she referred to them as the unit "girls".

It seemed to work.

One the way home, Ahsoka stopped at the market to buy food Aidan may be able to eat, like fruit she could mash up. She also got herself some food as well.

Aidan spent the whole trip home trying to reach into the bags Ahsoka had in her arm.

"No…"Ahsoka had to pull them farther away before Aidan lost interest and returned upright in his sling.

Pretty soon he was contentedly being rocked back and forth by Ahsoka's footsteps, listening to her talk about what all was around him.

And just as Ahsoka thought he was going to sleep-

She stepped inside their house and Aidan immediately began to attempt to wriggle out of the sling and be set down.

"Okay, you play here."Ahsoka handed Aidan his toy after setting him on the mat.

"I'll be fixing your dinner."


	9. Chapter 9

Aidan was growing up before Ahsoka's very eyes.

Today marked three months since they had moved to Thabeska, and Aidan was now seven months old and very, _very_ adventurous _._

Ever since he had learned to crawl he had the tendency to dissapear when Ahsoka turned her back. He would also try to pull himself up to try and stand with anything he could reach.

Right now Ahsoka was working in the kitchen, with Aidan playing around her feet. He had an odd habit of sitting so close he was nearly on top of her feet or between them. Ahsoka knew he never would, but it almost seemed as if he was trying to trip her.

Right now he was tugging at her pant leg and babbling. "Ma!"He yelled, gesturing to the food in Ahsoka's hands.

Ahsoka didn't count Aidan's fractions of words as talking quite yet. He had a ways to go before he thought to say ma-ma.

"Mama."She tried, looking down at him.

He blew a raspberry noise with his mouth.

 _It was worth a shot_ , Ahsoka huffed.

Aidan continued pulling on the end of her pant leg, frustrated as it got him nowhere closer to getting food or his mother's attention.

"Aidan, let go. I pay attention to you much more than you seem to think!"Ahsoka chided, being as firm as she could without feeling bad.

Aidan didn't let go even as Ahsoka began to walk. "Aidan..."Ahsoka warned, giving one last warning.

Finally Aidan complied, letting go, and for a terribly long moment he wobbled off balance from the shock of letting go. Then he fell backward with an alarmed noise.

Ahsoka's head whirled around when her son exploded into cries, screaming and waving his arms at her as he was stunned from the Ahsoka dropped everything to get to him. The bowl of pureed fruit he would eat fell from her hand to the table but luckily didn't break since it was made of plastic.

His cries only began to crescendo after she picked him up and began to comfort him.

The problem Ahsoka faced raising her son the most was that sometimes she just didn't know what to say. She didn't remember her own mother, what would be said when Ahsoka fell when she was a baby. She didn't have experience that she needed to be a successful mother.

So in times like this, she just patted Aidan's back as she held him and kissed his head,examining for blood and luckily finding only a forming bump on the back of his head.

"I know, getting hit in the head hurts."She whispered to his little ears, another human attribute she liked about him. Ears, especially little ones like Aidans, were adorable.

Soon his cries turned into gasps and then hiccups as he slowly recovered from his ordeal. After he calmed down completely, Ahsoka set him in her lap and began to help feed him, except Aidan quickly took matters into his own hands.

"And this is why I only eat meat."Ahsoka groaned as Aidan used the crushed fruit almost like paint all over himself as he smothered his face in the stuff, giggling all the while.

"Oh, you think that's so funny, do you?"Ahsoka,asked, cleaning his face with a towel."Use the fork, Aidan. I mean the spoon."She corrected when he reached for the spoon.

For a split second, Ahsoka was hopeful he'd use it right-

And then Aidan stuck the wrong end in his mouth and began to chew on it.

"You silly boy there's food right in front of you!"Ahsoka exclaimed, gesturing with a free hand to his bowl.

Aidan made a move that looked suspiciously like a shrug and then squealed in protest as Ahsoka forcibly removed the spoon from his mouth.

"Yeah, I know you're upset."Ahsoka murmured as Aidan chirped angrily and waved his fists at her, even pushing her cheek with a sticky,fruit covered palm.

"Ugh, really?!"

Aidan dug both hands into the bowl and then shoved one in his mouth. As usual, only about half the handful ended in its final destination.

"It's a good thing you're cute."Ahsoka sighed and smiled as she looked at her son. Aidan tilted his head and batted his eyes a few times, which made her smile more. Eventually, Aidan finally calmed down enough so that Ahsoka could use the spoon to feed him. He would happily chomp down on the spoon once it was in his mouth, and sometimes, just to be difficult, he wouldn't let it go.

And then Ahsoka would just sit there and let him figure himself out.

When the bowl was empty and the mess as bad as it was going to get, Aidan grabbed the napkinbefore Ahsoka did and began awkwardly slapping his face with it, as if he were trying to imitate washing his face as he had remembered Ahsoka do to him before.

"Nice try, but that isn't saving you from having to take a bath tonight."Ahsoka said with an amused smirk and lifted him up into her arms to carry him to the 'fresher. Aidan had long since learned not to protest bath time, as it was pointless. Even with his stubbornness, Ahsoka was even more stubborn. Much like his father, Aidan would always relent in the end.

"Ma ba da."Aidan babbled as Ahsoka carried him off.

"Yeah, that's right. Mama's taking you to the bath. You know why?"

"Da."Aidan responded.

"Because dada wouldn't want you dirty. That's right."

Aidan continued to babble that sentence until he had a kind of rhythm going that he would bounce to as he sung it.

"Mama."Ahsoka interrupted."Ma-ma."

She'd heard that the best way to encourage babies to talk was to repond as if you understood and just, well, talk.

"Ma, da!"Aidan exclaimed pointing wildly around the room.

"Ma-ma!"Ahsoka said, pointing to herself and imitating Aidan's intonation pattern.

Aidan shook his head rigorously as she undressed him for the bath. When he had finished he fell to his bottom from lack of balance.

Ahsoka picked him right back up and put him into the bath, beginning to run the water. If she made it too hot, Aidan's skin would darken from his natural salmon tint that it had become to nearly her shade from the heat.

Aidan continued babbling, Ahsoka continued to interpret what she could and try to get him to say a full word and not just the first sylable.

As much as she wanted Aidan to stay small and cute forever, she would acknowledge the day he said a full word. But all the same, she didn't rush him.

After hearing Ahsoka's corrections so many times, Aidan abandoned talk and focused on a single sound. "Da." He said as he played around with the washing cloth and the soap and atever else there was for him to put his hands on. Ahsoka flinched when she was splashed, though she was used to it by now, and she reacted quickly when Aidan tried to eat the soap... again.

"There we go, all clean."Ahsoka said triumphantly as she wrestled Aidan into a towel and set the water to drain. After carrying him into the bedroom again she changed Aidan into a new diaper and then let him crawl about as she cleaned up.

"Da, ma."She heard him babble, swinging that same toy cat he'd always had since the day he was born.

Those seemed to be his favorite sounds: ma and da.

Pretty soon he had half crawled and half butt-scooted his way into the kitchen where Ahsoka was just putting the dishes in the sink. He chirped to get her attention and then held his arms up to be held.

"You know I really which your father was here in times like this so he could watch you and hold you whie I'm busy."

"Da?"Aidan questioned.

"Dada."Ahsoka tried, knowing it was no use. Aidan wasn't ready to talk. She wasn't ready for him to talk. And she especially wasn't ready for him to start talking about-

"Da... Da da da!"Aidan exclaimed loudly. "Dada!"

For the second time that day, Aidan's plastic bowl fell from Ahsoka's hand and into the sink.

"What did you say?"She asked. _There's no way he just-_

 _"_ Dada!"Aidan exclaimed, looking very pleased with himself.

It took a few minutes for Ahsoka to accept it. Despite all she had done to try to prevent it, in a fit of rebellion, or perhaps wistfulness,Aidan had gravitated toward the thought of Lux, even going so far as to make dada his first word.

 _I don't really talk about Lux that much, do I?_

Apparently so.

 _And to think that my biggest worry was whether he'd say his first word in Togruti or Basic._

Aidan now appeared tired from the day as he had begun to lay his head down and his eyelids became heavy.

"Alright, bud. You get to sleep. I'll just...I'll stay up and think."

She was still recovering when Aidan fell asleep. She was still in denial, truthfully.

There was no doubt that if Lux were indeed here, dada being his first word would have been much more celebrated.

But to Ahsoka, it meant an opposite.

 _Aidan's going to grow up asking questions,assuming things..._

She hated herself for what she felt. Yes, dada had been Aidan's firdt word. There was no changing it. No avoiding it.

So she decided that she would save it along with all of Aidan's other firsts.

Looking under the bed to find the datapad that doubled as her journal, Ahsoka found the famous list and added to the bottom:

 _Seven months after leaving the order/three months after Order 66 and moving to Thabeska- Aidan's first word: "Dada"_

Pausing a moment to think, Ahsoka did realize that seven and a half months did seem much too early to talk. Who knew if Aidan was truly understanding what dada meant. But to Ahsoka, she considered it a first word. She didn't say anything about Aidan full out talking yet. The first word and beginning to talk were two entirely separate events and would be treated as such.

Ahsoka skimmed over the other entries and debated whether "order 66" was such a good timekeeper. It reminded her of terrible things.

 _But_ , Ahsoka looked to her sleeping son. _It also shows that good things can come out of terrible times as well._

She put back her journal and joined Aidan on the bed, lying on her side with her back acting as a railing for the side that Aidan could fall off of. The baby shifted a bit in his sleep, and then cuddled close to her like a big old teddy bear.

"In all my confusion, I didn't take time to tell you that I am proud of you."She whispered, kissing her son's forehead."I can't deny that you are growing up, nor that I won't be able to always protect you. But it's okay that you're talking. It's okay that your first word was dada. I'm not offended, I'm really not. I'm just...selfish, I guess. I didn't want you to grow up asking me about your father. But, I don't mind now. It's okay. I'm not going to be able to protect his identity forever."

She didn't even know if he had heard any of this, but she really meant it.

"Goodnight, Aidan."She whispered, kissing his forehead once again and turning off the light.


	10. Chapter 10

"Ma!" Aidan shouted, holding his arms up in the air and trying to make himself known to his mother as he begged to be picked up.

Ahsoka had just returned from one of her first delivery trips, and hadn't seen Aidan since that morning when she left him under the capable watch of the Fardi girls. Obviously, the older ones did most of the actual caring for him while the younger ones did most of the entertaining.

Though now that she was back, she was worried. As such, she held Aidan tight and close to her.

"We've got to be real careful now, buddy."She told her baby son as they walked back home. She spoke in Togruti, the language she used to communicate with him when she didn't want many others to understand. "The Empire's gotten all the way out here."

Aidan looked at her with big blue eyes,no doubt trying his best to understand what she was saying. Finally he gave up and craned his neck to see over Ahsoka's shoulder.

For a young baby like himself, Aidan's main focus as he looked around was things that he knew, that he could identify and somewhat communicate his knowledge of them. He knew trees,and flowers, and other things that mama had introduced to him while they walked around. He could also point out Humans and Togruta- well, mostly. Occasionally a Twi'lek would come along and mess him up, though. He still mixed them up with Togruta occasionally.

Now, a new familiar sight greeted him. Men in white armour. He'd been around people like this. They were nice to him! Like mama's friend Rex.

Ahsoka turned her head quickly when Aidan began to babble and bounce excitedly against her hip. Aidan was pointing wildly, smiling and her mother's instincts were all set to instruct or praise him about whatever he had discovered.

For a second, she was horrified.

Then she realized that it wasn't Aidan's fault that he thought those new Imperial soldiers were good. The clones had been his friends.

But these weren't clones. No. Not anymore.

"Let's go home."Ahsoka decided and quickened her step away from the stormtroopers. Aidan,in his confused state chirped angrily and tried to fight with all his strength, but a squirmy ten-month old had nothing on the tough,experienced,eighteen year old.

"Aidan listen to me!"Ahsoka tried to calm Aidan's cries once they arrived home. He was confused and upset. Why couldn't he go say hi to their friends?

"Aidan. Listen to me."Ahsoka said again, evenly as she looked Aidan straight in the eyes. Aidan's tears soon stopped and dried on his face while his sobs slowed to gasps.

"Those men, those stormtroopers aren't our friends. They're not clones. They aren't Rex,or Coric, or Jesse..."Ahsoka could have named so many more names but stopped with ones Aidan would have a shot at remembering. "They're bad men. They want...They want to take me away from you. Do you want mama to leave?"

Even at such a young age, Aidan understood this and shook his head "no".

"I don't want to leave either. That's why we have to be really careful about things. They can't know my name."

Well, Ahsoka wasn't even sure if Aidan even knew her name. Probably not. She knew for sure he didn't know their last name. She'd never mentioned it. And she certainly had never mentioned Lux's names. Not that she had decided if Aidan would take on his father's or her own last name yet.

"We have to be careful about who we talk to. The Fardis are our friends, so we can talk to them. But even our friends can't know the truth. Does that make sense?Do you understand?

Sitting on the edge of the bed as Ahsoka knelt in front of him, Aidan tilted his head, staring blankly.

"Oh, who am I kidding. I don't really have to worry, do I? Not yet anyway. Mama's not going anywhere. But I'll have to tell you all this again soon, when you can actually understand."

Aidan opened his arms for a hug and smiled widely when Ahsoka accepted. His arms were long enough to reach all the way around her neck now, but she didn't have to worry about him strangling her. Aidan was turning out, so far, to be a sweetheart, like his father.

Ahsoka ruffled his head of hair, which was settling in nicely, growing quickly,and wondered if he needed a cut of some sort. As her hand touched the back of his head, which Aidan so often fell on, she was alarmed to still be able to feel a bump.

"You always know how to cheer me up, buddy."Ahsoka said. Even though she was tired, and now stressed, a little one like Aidan certainly had an energizing affect on her.

Aidan looked pleased like, _yeah, of course I do. Now cheer me up too._

"What do you wanna do now, before I have to make dinner? Chenna said you had a good long nap today, so we can play instead of napping now."

At this point, all questions she asked him were rhetorical, or talking to herself, as Aidan was a baby and would offer only incoherent things in response. But, she acted as if he would respond, because one day he would, with actual, intelligent words.

They had come up with many little games together;they helped out various skills Aidan needed to work on and learn for later on in life. Things like organizing and walking and standing. Though right now Aidan was easing toward the moment he would take his first steps, Ahsoka could tell. She would watch as he pushed himself up and then used her hands or the edge of the table to pull himself along.

"Don't be in a hurry."Ahsoka said as she looked into his eyes while he stood on shaky legs."Remember, you only babbled out dada a few months ago."

"Mamama."Aidan said in return, as his legs gave out and he fell forward toward Ahsoka, who rewarded him with a kiss to his forehead.

"You know, someone tried to tell me that your first word didn't really count."She said."But it did, whether you had meaning attached or not. Maybe I'm so lenient because you're my first baby. Who knows, if you ever have a little sibling, maybe it'll be different with them."

Aidan was now sitting, completely happy on his backside. He didn't want to walk anymore today.

So Ahsoka didn't make him. Aidan had long since reached for the infamous stuffed cat, and now crawled into and settled in Ahsoka's lap.

"Hold on."Ahsoka frowned and picked him up to turn him around."These clothes can't be small already-"She smiled once she figured out the reasoning."Keep your shirt pulled down. You're too young to be showing off your abs like that!"She joked, and tickled his exposed stomach until Aidan squealed and obediently shoved his shirt down.

Of course, Aidan was far from having abs, as she jokingly called his stomach, because ever since he'd started eating real food and real meat, he had really filled out around the middle and was on the chubbier side. He had a big appetite and his stomach reflected it.

Still giggling but trying to escape, Aidan tumbled from Ahsoka's lap and executed a near perfect three-quarter roll, landing on his haunches as he looked up at her.

"Mamama baba!" Quick as a flash, Aidan changed attitudes from playful and sweet to demanding and hungry.

"You want some food?"Ahsoka interpreted.

"Ya!"

"Alright."Ahsoka picked him up and carried him away and to the kitchen."You're getting heavy."She pretended to struggle with Aidan's weight in her arms but of course, in reality, it was nothing.

"You can wait here."Ahsoka said and rearranged Aidan to be on her hip. She didn't trust him to stay in a chair alone, and she didn't have a fancy protective seat for him. She did have a bottle though, and that kept Aidan occupied enough. Aidan _loved_ pala juice, when she was able to bring some home.

He watched her cook, if you could call it cooking, and would occasionally point to something and babble questioningly.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka cut a slab of bero meat into tiny pieces, the knife flashing up and down quickly as it was divided into quarters, eighths, sixteenths and thirty-seconds.

When Aidan looked away, Ahsoka snuck a handful and tossed it her mouth. Aidan turned back and caught her chewing, dealing her an accusing "ah!"in protest. He then leaned down himself.

"No, you don't eat it raw. I don't know if you can do that."Ahsoka gently took his hand and lifted it up. "Here, have some of this." She handed him half of a pesan fruit to nibble on.

When she dropped the chopped bits of meat into the pan, Aidan jumped in alarm asit sizzled loudly at first. "Surprised?"Ahsoka cooed.

Once again, Aidan leaned down to try to snag a bit.

"No! Not now. It's hot. Very hot,see?"Being very careful, Ahsoka firmly held Aidan's hand above the pan.

Aidan babbled in acknowledgment and drew his hand away by himself.

 _A few months ago I would have had to do that for you._ Ahsoka admired. _You're_ _learning_.

For a second, Aidan was quiet with silent wonder before finally lying his head down on her shoulder. The way he often waited out time was to just sleep.

Ahsoka would keep stealing bits of meat every once in a while to see if it was cooked enough. She had never truly had cooking experience, so she basically just let it sit there in the pan and took it off when it tasted good.

When she took the pan off the stove, Aidan sprung up, beginning to babble excitedly and squirm in anticipation until Ahsoka sat him down. She let him sit alone now, as he was strong enough to hold himself up, but stood nearby in case he fell.

The spoon was a luxury Aidan didn't quite understand yet, and as such Ahsoka had to watch him use it for everything but what it was supposed to do.

"Aidan, can you promise me something?"Ahsoka asked him after he finished eating and was currently using the empty bowl as a hat.

He chirped in response.

"Never grow up, son. Never grow up."

* * *

Unfortunately, Aidan did grow up.

It came to the point that Ahsoka worried profusely about him going outside, even along with her.

He was a little more than a year old and could almost walk on his own now. He would toddle around using her hands as anchors until he got tired.

Today was a new day, an imperial "holiday" that was anything but joyous. Imperial walkers were going to march the street to the rhythm of imperial streets.

"Let's get home, Aidan."Ahsoka picked him up into her arms, thankfully without protests from him.

Once in the safety of their home, Ahsoka set Aidan down to do as he wanted. It turned out that he wanted to walk some more. She watched as he crawled up to the side of the bed and pulled himself right up, beginning to use it to walk back and forth, letting Ahsoka's encouragment cheer him on.

Her encouragement kept coming, until.

"Ashla! You're going to miss the parade!"

Ahsoka sat back with a huff. _That's what I was trying to do._

Aidan looked at her quizzically, standing still for a moment as he tilted his head to the side. Then he let go of the bed and sat down, beginning to crawl over to her. When she opened the door, Ahsoka lifted Aidan up to kep him from attempting to escape through the open door.

"Oh no you don't."She muttered as she held him under one arm so he was dangling a bit. Aidan squealed and giggled, trying to get at the familiar faces.

"Both of you need to come!"One girl insisted. "Dad says you're still new and need to introduce yourself."

 _I thought he was your uncle?_ Ahsoka though, but then realized that with so many Fardi girls, some of them were probably indeed daughters.

"I can't go looking like this!"Ahsoka attempted to excuse herself from attending the event but knew it wouldn't work. "Let me change clothes and take care of Aidan."

Luckily, that got her what she needed, even though it was a white lie: she didn't have any other clothes. But she did need to take care of Aidan.

And right now,taking care of him meant keeping him safe.

"Alright, buddy."Ahsoka spoke to her son. "I think that it's time for us to leave."

In response, Aidan babbled an incoherent question as he watched Ahsoka work to leave. The secret compartment in the floor was exposed, and emptied, stuffed into their only bag.

Then, covering her own face with a cloak that was slightly small, she picked up Aidan and went on her way.

Everyone was distracted by the Imperial parade and flyby. The streets were deserted, the sound of music faded to the background.

Ahsoka and Aidan were the only ones around.

Except for, that is, two stormtroopers.

Ahsoka could easily tell these soldiers weren't clones. Their minds were not that of her former friends.

"Why are you not at the festivities?" One asked.

"I was out... hunting."Ahsoka decided.

"With a baby?"One of the stormtroopers asked suspiciously.

"Togruta carry their young with them wherever they go. It's how they learn."

The two troopers stared at each other but didn't seem to notice Ahsoka holding her breath. Aidan shifted uneasily on her hip. His human features no doubt made it hard to believe that Ahsoka was indeed his mother. For all they knew, Ahsoka was kidnapping him.

"Move along."They finally said.

With gritted teeth, Ahsoka mumbled a "happy Empire day" and shuffled away,as fast as she dared to. She wasn't stopped, even when she walked past troopers at the space port.

"I hope I'm not taking anything they need."She said to herself, apologizing to the Fardis as she strapped Aidan into her lap, not daring to sigh a relieved breath until she was well into space.

"Where should we go next?"She asked her son.

"Dada."Aidan said simply.

It was obvious now that Aidan understood what the word meant. Dada meant Lux, and Aidan wanted his father. Aidan _needed_ his father.

"I'll think about it."Ahsoka murmured to herself.

She should have predicted Aidan's response. Ever since he'd learned what tbe word truly meant, he'd repeated it over and over all day searching for dada, asking for dada and becoming extremely distressed when he couldn't find him.

Surprisingly at ease with her answer, Aidan snuggled against her chest and watched the stars turn into hyperspace.


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as she had walked even five feet away from her son, Aidan protested her leaving with cries and chirps.

Ahsoka groaned. This was a test, and Aidan was failing miserably.A Togruta mother had to be able to leave her baby, sometimes for hours at a time, to hunt. Yes, Togruta were tribal, but that was also a disadvantage in itself as children were so closely bonded with their parents until an older age.

So, while the mother left, the baby had to stay still and quiet, or risk being found by a predator, despite the fact that Togruta technically _were_ the predators. The number one cause of infant deaths was being found by an Akul, hungry for an easy kill, be the infant alone or not.

It was a harsh world, and Ahsoka didn't plan on leaving Aidan alone in the wilderness anytime soon. Still, she couldn't run around with him strapped to her back forever.

She had brought him out here to the caves, the ones she had found on one of the days she was out alone,so he could learn. So she could teach him.

It wasn't working out.

"Aidan, I'm right here. I'm five feet away, why are you still crying?" She asked,exasperated.

 _Do I expect too much from him?_

 _He's not a full blooded Togruta, in case you haven't noticed,_ her conscious said back _. His human genes are cancelling out vital Togruta instincts, you can't train him like one._

Ahsoka looked at her son sadly. She had no idea how humans grew up, how they were taught when they were young. When they walked and talked, when they ran, and so many other things. She could ask Lux, she supposed, but what was the point of popping in every few months to a man she loved but could never be with, when all it was to do was ask about advice for his baby son that he wasn't allowed to know.

So instead, she thought, _What would Lux do?_

Lux was a kind hearted man who loved children and got along nicely with people of all ages. If he saw a baby in distress, there was no doubt that he would get down on his knees and comfort them.

So Ahsoka sat down and called Aidan toward her with a chirp of her own. In an emergency, there would be no time for words, just chirps to convey the urgency of the situation.

As soon as she called him, Aidan stood up and ran toward her, falling into her arms with a satisfied babble of her name, "Mama".

It was official. She was Mama. They had lived on Raada long enough for Aidan to grow to the age of walking and talking in one word sentences.

They had also lived on Raada long enough for the Empire to come again.

Ahsoka began to wonder if she should just give up, surrender to Aidan's demands and take him to his father and say "You know what, Lux? I give up. He's yours, so help me take care of him. I can't do it alone."

But there was a problem with that.

Ahsoka wasn't a quitter. She didn't give up. She didn't admit when she needed help.

So she laid there on her back and let Aidan believe he had wrestled her over and was victorious, as he sat on her chest with a smug look on his face. His face was beginning to shape nicely, his jawline like Lux's, but his face thin like hers, so it appeared to come to a harsh sudden point instead of being round and smooth. His hair, as blonde as could be, was beginning to curl, oddly enough. Ahsoka didn't know where that came from.

His personality was really coming to show too. He knew his strength, like she did, but catiously approached things, like Lux did. He was a cheeky, funny boy, much like Lux could be at times.

He was the perfect median of his parents.

He was perfect in every way, as far as Ahsoka was concerned. As perfect as a half Togruta baby could be.

With the Empire watching them, they'd eat and sleep here for now, and Ahsoka would run back under the cover of early morning to get them back before anyone got suspicious.

* * *

"I still don't understand why you bring a baby here." Kaeden said. "I wouldn't bring my sister here at that age."

There was no chance Ahsoka would leave Aidan alone after the stormtroopers had showed up at their door that morning. Besides, he had been lulled to sleep by the run Ahsoka had taken back from their cave. He slept soundly against her shoulder, not disturbing anyone.

"Yeah, especially after what happened last time." Hoban pointed out, causing Ahsoka to grimace and Miara to pale noticeably, remembering the untimely execution of Tibbola.

"I'll protect him."Ahsoka said, determined. "Besides, he's too young to be left alone."

"He's not adopted, is he?"Miara blurted."Like you are?"

Ever since her arrival here, Ahsoka could tell people were confused. Miara was the only one brave, and slightly foolish enough, to ask.

"No. He isn't." Ahsoka said curtly. Her hand protectively curled titghter around Aidan.

"Then where's-"

"Miara, shh." Kaeden chided, shoving her younger sister lightly.

Ahsoka was hardly conscious of the fact that her face had changed to the view of others. She tried not to be offended, but in a way was. It was to be expected of course, given her and Aidan's drastic differences.

Nobody seemed to know what to say or how to say it next. Surprisingly, it was Hoban who attempted conversation next.

"We've started to slow the growing, like you said. The ImperiLs don't like it, but they can't do anything about it. They haven't even stopped our rations yet."

"They will soon."Vartan said,"They always do, that's what organizations like the Empire are all about."

"But they risk not having good workers. They would not stop feeding you."Ahsoka countered, then winced. She sounded too experienced. In a way, she was.

"I will never understand people like the Imperials." Neera said. "Taking what little people have, for what good? They'll strip us of all good work and then leave, sucking the soul out of the next planet they go to."

"If you aren't planning on helping us do something, we'll do it ourselves!" Hoban announced to Ahsoka. He was angry at how long she was taking.

"I am trying to help, Hoban."Ahsoka tried."I'm-"

"I don't want to hear it. I'll see you guys later."The young man stood up and angrily stalked away.

Neera left hastily after her brother.

"He's right."Kaeden said, quietly."We're getting tired of waiting, Ashla."

With that, she and Miara were the next to leave. Vartan was left, but said nothing, just made eye contact with her, sighed heavily, and left.

With the last of the group gone, Ahsoka felt her hope dissapearing too. "I cannot help them if they do not have the wisdom, or the patience,to be helped."She whispered to herself.

Not ready to leave, Ahsoka stayed to talk to Selda. The fellow Togruta was nice to her, and everyone, but seemed surprised to realize the son she had talked about was human.

"Fun fact."Ahsoka said, in their native language. "Togruta and humans can interbreed."

Selda was obviously thankful for the humourus interlude after the unfortunate events of late and chuckled as he gave her the leftovers.

"I was going to say, he looks like quite a Togruta." Selda chuckled and leaned down on the bar across from her. "He looks strong, though."

"I named him after the most free spirit I know, because that's what he is." Ahsoka shifted Aidan so Selda could see him easier. During this shift, Aidan's eyes slowly opened and regarded Selda with interest. Prosthetics were a mystery to him, one he intended to find the answer to as he squirmed away from his mother and stood independently on the counter.

"Tall, too, for his age."

"That's a bit Togruta of him."Ahsoka agreed.

Selda beckoned Aidan to come to him with his non-proshetic arm. "Come here, little one."

Despite the fact that Selda gave off the aura of a kind grandfather, Aidan was still skeptical of this strange metal limb. He backed up slowly, reaching an arm for Ahsoka while the other went to his mouth.

Luckily, Selda didn't seem offended by the act of rejection from the little boy. "It's alright, I'd be a little scared of a robot man too."

"He'll get better about it, I promise." Ahsoka tried to say, but really didn't know if Aidan would anytime soon.

"If you ever need any help with him, just let me know." Selda told the young mother."Little ones are tough, I know from experience."

"Thanks, Selda."

"Looks like you'd better get him to bed."

It was true, Aidan was already yawning again, and rubbing his eyes. Ahsoka bade Selda farewell on behalf of both of them and then took Aidan's hand, walking out the door.

"Mama!"Aidan pulled on Ahsoka's arm and then began jumping for the box she carried.

"What do you want, Aidan, use your words."

"My do it!"Aidan stood on his tippy toes and stretched his arms for the leftovers until Ahsoka let him have it. It was heavy to him, but Aidan managed, and Ahsoka kept a hold of him by holding a light grip on his head and steering him home.

When they walked inside, Aidan dutifully set the box down on the table and then toddled over to the bed, trying to climb onto it.

"I think you're forgetting something."Ahsoka chided with a smile.

Aidan turned to look at her but then dismissed it, curling dramatically up with his back to her.

Ahsoka glanced at the time, then back to her son, who was already asleep. "Alright."She decided."We'll do a bath in the morning." She had to gently take Aidan's shoes off and put them by the door before she could officially lay down herself, but eventually the task was done and she was joining her son in the world of sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

With tears in her eyes, Ahsoka ran along in the darkness.

Her tears weren't visible in the dull moonlight, but they were definitely there. Ahsoka had just made one of the hardest decisions she woyld ever make: she had left her son in the care of someone else while she went off, possible to never see him again.

The fact he was able to comprehend what was happening made it worse. Aidan wailed, he screamed her name while trying to escape the stone grip of his new guardian.

But even with his enraged, distressed state, Aidan was no match for Miara.

He would be safer here, hidden, with the group in the caves,and Selda in the city for protection. Much safer. If Aidan became associated with her, that could mean double the danger for both of them. A Togruta woman and a human son tended to catch stares.

And so Ahsoka ran away from her son.

But she would be back. She had jobs to do. She needed to rescue Kaeden, and then Hedala Fardi.

She would be back, yes, but Force knew when. Hopefully Aidan wouldn't grow too much by then.

But even if he did, at least he was safe. And even if she never saw him again...

At least he was _safe_.

* * *

Rescuing Kaeden had been a mundane task compared to what Ahsoka was used to. So was going back to Thabeska and the Fardi clan.

But Hedala Fardi had alerted Ahsoka to a new realization: there was an Inquisitor after her. She had been discovered ever since her display of her force powers at the Imperial weapons depot.

Which put every single one of her friends, and Aidan, in danger.

 _Oh, why couldn't life just be simple,for once!_

Would being on her own help her chances of survival? Yes. But would she be able to leave Aidan?

No. Not now. Eventually, Aidan would be old enough,but not now.

There was always the option of going to Lux.

But Ahsoka wasn't ready for that yet. Probably wouldn't ever be. So instead, she planned her return to Raada. It was high time she went back to her son.

Sure, life for Ahsoka Tano had been anything but normal as soon as she'd walked down those temple steps. Even more so after leaving Coruscant a short time later. And it had turned upside down as soon as Aidan was born. Or maybe, more accurately,it had turned upside down at the moment she discovered thar she was pregnant.

Yeah, probably that one.

It was the kind of change that could have, in a way, been avoided. Would it have been right to take the easy way out, as many women did? No, and Ahsoka would never change that. She cursed the fact that she had even considered terminating her pregnancy. She couldn't imagine doing that now.

Besides, if Ahsoka couldn't stand being separated from her son for a mere week, how would she ever deal with never having him there at all?

Her lamenting over, Ahsoka prepared to go back.

And that's when everything went wrong.

Dealing with the Black Sun had been easy. A few quick maneuvers and Ahsoka was away from their grasp. But then straight into another, much larger ship.

And she was caught in a tractor beam.

 _Just when things seemed easy..._

Aidan would have to wait, Ahsoka decided as she rushed around to arm herself,which she had plenty of time to do. It seemed suspicious, but Ahsoka wasn't complaining.

When the hatch opened, Ahsoka didn't even wait to hear what her would be-captors had to say.

 _These people are getting in the way of my return to my son._ She thought as she took them out. _That's reason enough to-_

She immediately regretted her decision, as she was met with a familiar face. Well, not really face but- oh, well it was Artoo, who she'd missed as much as any of her human friends.

Ahsoka felt even worse after she realize that she didn't need to have attacked those people. They were on behalf of a known Jedi sympathizer, Bail Organa.

 _He was probably trying to help you! Good going, Ahsoka!_

 _"_ Well _."_ She told the little droid _. "_ I guess I'd better meet him. _"_

Her reunion with Aidan would have to wait just a little bit longer.

* * *

Faking an escape had been easy, with Artoo's help.

But she wondered if she really had to jump through space in a air-tight suit. That part seemed a little unnecessary.

Oh, well.

Bail Organa had been thoroughly surprised when she surprised him in his office, and the two quickly began to talk, relating to each other's hate of the Empire. When he offered her a job, however, she hesitated.

"I..."She began, biting her lip.

Bail's smile began to fade. He had been so sure that she would help!

"I can't, Senator."She finally said. "It's too much. Too dangerous for-"

"I can give you a crew."Bail interrupted."I can give you a ship, anything! You of all people should know how important this is, Padawan Tano."

"First of all, I'm not a Padawan anymore."Ahsoka snapped."Second, it's not my safety I'm worried about."

Bail's eyebrows creased, no doubt wanting her to go on, explain what she meant.

"You have a child, don't you, Senator?"

Bail nodded,"Yes, I do. But-"

"Do you worry every day that while you're off on your adventures, defying the Empire, that you may not return to them, or worse, fail to be there to protect them?"

Bail suddenly looked uncomfortable, with a look like Ahsoka had definitely struck a nerve."Yes. Every day I fear that."

"Then you must understand why I cannot help you. I may be a young mother, a mother who opposes the Empire, but I am a mother just the same. My son is too young to be without me. And even now I have been away far too long."

"You have a son?"Bail demaded."I thought that Jedi couldn't have children."

"I'm not a Jedi. I wasn't when he was born, either. But, the point here is, you know why I can't accept. Your child has an advantage, she has both of her parents and a crew of people at her whim that would give their lives for her. Is that not correct?"

"And your son doesn't. I don't know the details, and I don't need to. But I understand. Now I do."He leaned back."Might we talk as friends now, for a moment, instead of coworkers?"

"I'd hardly call us friends, I have know you for five minutes." Ahsoka retorted.

Bail pretended not to have heard."How old is your son?"

"Almost two."Said Ahsoka.

"And quite the handful, I imagine?"

"He requires both hands, usually."

Bail chuckled."Of course. My daughter is only a little over a year old, but has proven to be just as bad. She's already quite articulate and mobile."

 _So Aidan was a late developer then?_

 _"_ I have to apologize, senator. I've not had any way of comparing my son to any other child. He'e talking, yes, but probably not like your daughter is."

"Leia is a lot like her mother."Said Bailc and for a second, looked sad.

"Aidan reminds me of his father." Ahsoka said aloud. "But, with all due respect,Senator, I don't understand where this is going. I really should be getting back."

"I'm trying to propose that you could come live on Alderaan. That way you can work with me, and be able to keep him safe. He could be looked after alongside my daughter."

 _That could work._

 _Alderaan is a nice place. Aidan would like it._

 _"_ I'll have to think about that, Senator. But thank you."

"I could offer you a ship to get back?"The senator rose with her as their conversation concluded.

"No thanks, I'll just keep mine. It's not far, anyway."

The Senator walked her back to the main hatch, where they prepared to part ways.

"I do have to warn you."He said, as Ahsoka stepped through the hatch into her ship."I do have reason to belive that they have sent someone after you to Raada."

"An Inquisitor?"Ahsoka asked.

"Some kind of agent, is all I can guess."Said Bail."May the force be with you."

 _Force be with me, indeed._

 _Could it be? A_ hsoka thought, once back in the cockpit of her own ship. _An Inquisitor?_

With a new sense of urgency, Ahsoka plotted the fastest route to Raada through hyperspace, and then slid down into the pilot's chair and slept, thinking all the while about her son.

* * *

"Ahsoka!"

Ahsoka hadn't meant to scare the girl, but she should have expected it if she snuck up on her in the dead of night.

She also expected a happy greeting. Instead, Miara looked sad, even scared. Her lip began to quiver. Soon, she was crying.

"Miara, what is it?"Ahsoka asked calmly, trying to soothe the girl.

"They're dead!"Miara sobbed."All of them."He came- The big grey man. He had a red lightsaber, and he kiled them! They're all dead, and I ran!"

Ahsoka did her best to comfort the distraught girl, when really she was numb herself."Miara. Did anyone survive?"

"Kaeden was forced to walk back to the city. Ahsoka, I'm so sorry! I was supposed to take care of him, and I ran. I ran..."Miara broke down even more now.

 _Aidan._

The gravity of the situation finally hit, and Ahsoka tried, and failed to hold back tears. Soon she was crying too, while Miara, who was only sniffing now, watched in slight awe.

"Miara, I need to you go to Selda. Please."Ahsoka ordered.

 _I have to fight him. I have to fight that monster._

Once she was finally alone, Ahsoka ran. She ran to escape. Escape the horror.

But then, she couldn't run anymore.

Ahsoka broke down, once again,falling to the cold hard ground, and wept.


	13. Chapter 13

Ahsoka realized quickly that there was no time to go after Aidan. Even if she could, she wouldn't want him around her while she engaged the strange force user in open combat. If Aidan was alive, hiding in the caves, he was safer there.

It hurt Ahsoka far too much to be saying _if_.

But nevertheless, she cleared her mind as best she could and followed after Miara. The sooner she beat this guy, the sooner she could get back to her son. Fueled by this thought, Ahsoka felt stronger than ever.

She boldly walked straight into the Imperial compound. She knew that the stormtroopers would dare not shoot her while she was in combat with the grey creature.

Even withought a ranged weapon, the fight could still be easy. Ahsoka wasn't helpless without her lightsabers. She had years of experience,which outranked everything.

"I'm glad to see that you stayed." He taunted her. It was very similar to her fight with Maul. Perhaps those trained in the dark side tended to have bigger egos. They certainly talked more.

"You shouldn't have expected me to leave. You have something I want."

In response, he taunted some more. Ahsoka simply stood and let him. It may have been wasting time, but was strategically causing how long the actually guerrilla warfare would last for.

 _The longer they talk, the faster they're defeated._

Ahsoka continued to seem unamused by his threats. They were empty and he knew it, and that made him angrier. When he finally attacked, strength and intelligence proved to be her greatest aid.

All she had to do was stretch out a hand and let the Force do the work.

The first thing she noticed as she confronted him was that the crystals inside his lightsabers were itching for freedom. They called to her through the Force.

And so she answered.

The gray creature realized too late. His reaction was far too slow to stop her, and as her grip on the crystals tightened, so did the risk of an explosion.

Her opponent was foolish enough to have his blades right in front of his face when they exploded. The burst of force energy killed him instantly and temporarily blinded her.

Ahsoka still didn't have to fear the stormtroopers as she shifted through the remains of the lightsaber. After nearly two years of collecting pieces of scrap, all she had needed were two crystals to complete her new blades.

Freed from the dark side, the crystals that were now hers lost their red tint and now returned to their natural color. When she assembled her new blades and activated them, they showed the brightest white.

And now, time was running out to rescue Aidan. But she had other things to do first. Free Kaeden and get her to Selda's, and then finally go to Aidan.

Ahsoka felt pure guilt at her list. Aidan should always be her first priority, yet here he was at the end of her list. At least he wasn't young enough to understand.

When she and Kaeden finally made their way into Selda's cantina, Ahsoka was exhausted,and felt she had no energy left to go after Aidan. But of course, she had to.

She hung onto the door frame at Selda's just long enough to collect herself. But when she looked up for one last time to make sure everyone was here, her heart nearly skipped a beat with joy.

Aidan was sitting on Selda's counter, chewing on some jerky while the older Togruta looked at Ahsoka with a half proud, half smug look on his face.

Rejuvenated,Ahsoka crossed the room in three bounds and didn't hesitate in wrapping Aidan in a big embrace. While Aidan was no doubt happy to see her, he still remained focused on his snack and offered no affection in return except for a few words that he mumbled with a mouth full.

Ahsoka wasn't offended though. She was quite relieved. And quite confused. "How did he end up back here?"She asked Selda, who looked kindly at their reunion.

"He had wandered almost all the way back here, calling for you when I found him." Said Selda."He was in the middle of the field, on his way back from the caves. It's a good job that I could hear his chirps, otherwise I would have never found him."

 _And I doubt I would have, either_.

 _Oh, Aidan._ Ahsoka couldn't help being proud as well. "That was a very big boy thing to do, son. I'm proud of you."

Now it was Aidan who offered her a smug, cheeky Lux grin as he finally hugged her back.

"But what I don't understand is how you survived the attack." Miara had said that everyone was dead. Everyone except Aidan.

"I hided."Aidan explained simply, in toddler speak.

Ahsoka couldn't help laughing at the simplicity of his response. "That must have been a good hiding place." She said, and both her and Selda laughed now.

"You have a very smart little boy." Said Selda now, after handing Aidan another piece of jerky. Ahsoka couldn't protest. Aidan deserved it and was definitely hungry. The again, he was always hungry.

"Thank you."She said to Selda.

The older Togruta inclined his head with a smile.

"Look!"Miara suddenly called their attention to the window, and everyone gathered.

Bail Organa had come through.

A-Wings flew above the Imperial compound, blowing it to bits while everyone inside the cantina cheered.

"It's time for everyone to be evacuated." Said Ahsoka, once again resuming her commanding tone. "It's a good thing that they are coming, but we only have a small window before the Imperials strike back. Kaeden, get your sister and anyone you know. Selda-"Ahsoka handed Aidan back to him. "He obviously likes you now. I need you to keep him safe for one last time."

Aidan protested now, which prevented Ahsoka from leaving. Her son was calling after her and trying to get away from Selda. They had just been reunited, why was she already leaving?!

"I'll be right back, Aidan. This time, I promise you."

That assured him enough to stop his crying. Then he assumed a stoic expression as Selda carried him off and Ahsoka couldn't help feeling sad once again. No child should ever have to accept the realities that Aidan faced on a daily basis.

So she looked forward to moving to Alderann with him, where they would be together and in a safe environment for the future.

Somewhat reassured, Ahsoka ran off to do her job of holding the Imperials back and helping evacuate the rest of the citizens of Raada.

When the doors to the Alderaani shuttle closed behind her, filled with half of the citizens she had rescued (the others were on another ship) Ahsoka slunk down the wall to a sitting position, and gratefully accepted when Aidan toddled over to her and sat in her lap, never to let her get up and leave him again.

* * *

The senator of Alderaan had been right.

After their private discussion about the future of the Rebellion and how Ahsoka, now aka Fulcrum, could help, Aidan had been quite fascinated by meeting another child his age.

Little Leia Organa strode right up to Aidan, leaving behind her father to investigate this new person. Even a princess had very few people her that were her age, and like she was to him, Aidan was a new experience.

Both Ahsoka and Bail kept a good eye on their respective children while they checked over each other. Aidan was taller, but noticeably more intimidated by the powerfel way Leia already held herself.

"You said she was adopted?"Ahsoka whispered to Bail. "She acts just like you,though."

To her surprise, Bail's expression suddenly turned sad."As I said, she's much like her mother. Who, I feel it is safe to tell you the identity of, as long as you should swear to keep it secret."

"I will."Promised Ahsoka. Bail's sudden secrecy only confirmed what she knew he was going to say.

"Leia is the daughter of Padmé Amidala."He whispered.

"Which makes her father Anakin Skywalker." Whispered Ahsoka back, hardly shocked."I know." _But there isn't a hint of him in her that I can see._

They turned their attention back to the toddlers as the daughter of Anakin Skywalker and the son of Ahsoka Tano regarded each other.

Leia had talked first, introducing herself as the princess of Alderaan,which had startled Aidan so much that he had fallen back on his haunches and looked past the new person to his mother, like "A little help here?"

Ahsoka shook her head at him. "Be a big boy."She chided in Togruti.

Aidan huffed, but then pushed himself up and stared Leia down in a way that made her slightly cower."I Aidan!"He announced. "I taller than you."

Bail laughed at his introduction while Ahsoka groaned,putting a hand to her temple. _I taught him better than this_ , _didn't I?_

"But he doesn't have much on a princess."Bail pointed out."He did pretty well,in my opinion." He still had a smile on his face, and soon Ahsoka matched it.

"Yeah, I guess he did." This reasurred her more, and soon she was smiling too as she watched the children, who were now chasing each other in circles around their parents.

 _This is what he deserves. This is what Lux would want for him. A good place to live, a good education, and a promising future._

 _I am finally doing something right._

After being separated from him, it had been a no brainer when it came to deciding whether to accept Bail's offer or not. Sure, they wouldn't be together all the time, but Bail had promised enough flexibility in Ahsoka's work that would allow her a good amount of time with her son.

In exchange for her help in the Rebellion, Aidan would be raised nearly alongside Leia,pratically like a brother, getting the same education that she would have, and both he and his mother would be provided a room in the palace, (which Ahsoka could hardly accept) and any necssities they may ever need, including food and clothes for the ever hungry,ever growing Aidan.

It was on par with what they would likely be living like if they were with Lux.

 _It's the best I can do for him,_ mused Ahsoka. _One day, when Lux finds out, if he does, he will be proud of him. I know it._

* * *

Their first night on Alderaan had been luxury in comparison to anything they had before. Even the smallest, least elaborate of any of the rooms Bail offered her was still too much in Ahsoka's opinion.

But it made the Senator happy to give it, so Ahsoka didn't spoil it for him.

The tub she bathed Aidan in was more a pool than a tub, it seemed, and the amount of hot water seemed endless.

Now, Aidan wanted to stay in as long as possible instead of getting out as quick as the cold water came back.

He could now somewhat bathe himself. Ahsoka was more there for safety than anything. And plus, because she wanted to be. Such little things as this helped pay back all the time she needed to make up with him.

One of the first things Aidan had done on Alderaan was recieved a haircut. And he had screamed all the way through it. The stylist had smiled and said it was no big deal, the first haircut was always traumatic for everyone. But now, Aidan's hair was only a few inches long, no longer covering his eyes.

He looked a lot like Lux now, especially now because of his hair. Ahsoka tried to tell herself she didn't do it on purpose, but in fact she did. Ever since Aidan's eyes had lightened to Ahsoka's tint, she had been striving to perserve Aidan's "Lux-ness", as she called it.

After nearly an hour, Ahsoka finally convinced Aidan to get out of the bath. His skin was extremely red and wrinkled, and it gave Ahsoka an unexpected flashback to when he was born and had the same apperance,albeit much smaller.

Ahsoka now helped her son dress into his sleep clothes (which was completely new to both of them. So was even having multiple sets of clothes.) She wondered what the next task would be. Potty training, perhaps? Oh, boy.

Their new living quarters came with two bedrooms: one for Ahsoka and one for Aidan. But Ahsoka wasn't going to let Aidan be separated from her again, even just to sleep, and he was perfectly content with climbing into her bed with her.

It was as comfortable, maybe even more,as the bed Ahsoka had shared with Lux for that night. She never forgot that night, and doubted she ever would. Even more so since she had Aidan as a constant reminder.

"Goo'night,mama."Her little son whispered and yawned.

"Goodnight, Aidan."She said right back, hugging him even closer.


	14. Chapter 14

_He's his father's son_ , Ahsoka thought as she watched Aidan, just a four year old youngling, focusing hard on a datapad he had been given. _Studious as ever._

He was supposed to be learning from her now, at this time of the day. He was out of school,Ahsoka was back from work.

She decided after the scare on Raada, she would teach Aidan some self defense. Maybe more, if he was interested. If she started him young,like they did at the Temple, he would only get better.

"Aidan."She called, trying to tear his attention away. She sat cross legged across from him.

He'd only just learned to read, slightly slower and behind Leia, but quickly catching up. Now he wanted to do it non-stop.

"Too much datapad is bad for your eyes." She insisted, and he finally looked up, pouting, but put it aside.

"Why do I have to do this, mama?"He pouted, sticking out his lower lip and doing the infamous wolf cub eyes.

"Stretching is good for you. You can always use a good stretch."Ahsoka repeated what she'd been told dozens of times."It's good for injury prevention, always do it to warm up before you practice any kind of sport."

"I can't get hurt if I don't do sports." Said Aidan now, neglecting his current stance and rolling backwards to try to steal another look at his datapad.

"Uh-uh. That's not how you're supposed to do that. Somersaults aren't very efficient, you'll tumble right into a wall, and you can't see where you're going or pop up quickly."

Aidan pretended to ignore her. "I'm not going to get hurt." He said defiantly."No stretching."

"Fine."Ahsoka shrugged."Your choice." She resumed her previous stance, with the bottom of her feet together as she tried to push her knees down. She couldn't quite get them all the way down anymore. _Hmm..._ She wondered, glancing at Aidan.

 _I'll appeal to his competitive side._

"See if you can get your knees all the way touching, farther than mine."

At the sound of a challenge, Aidan couldn't resist. Soon his feet were touching too and his knees parallel to the floor.

 _Impressive._ Ahsoka couldn't resist a smirk.

"Come help me with mine, you stand on my knees." Aidan weighed at most forty pounds. The pain wouldn't be much, and the stretch was the important part anyway.

Aidan scrambled up to do as he was told, and it worked. Ahsoka was wincing quietly just a bit, but felt the gain outweigh the pain in this particular situation.

 _Besides, nothing beats the pain of labor._

She winced once more when Aidan jumped slightly off of her knees and landed, smiling up at her.

She smiled back even though she wanted to scold him for jumping like that."Let's see some others."

Aidan surprised her now by dropping into a perfect center split.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, you won't be able to do that in a few years." She pointed out. "You boys lose all flexibility in that area."

Aidan "hmmphed" and stood up. "Can I read now?"

"Just a few minutes more."Ahsoka lied."Let's try some things I taught you." Despite his attitude now, Ahsoka knew that Aidan would grow to appreciate hand to hand combat. Even Lux wasn't a true pacifist,and so neither would Aidan turn out to be.

Aidan was tall for his age, but still too short for her to be level with without getting on her knees. Ahsoka was concerned that her son was growing like a Togruta, with limbs having extra ligaments and whatnot. That could present problems. But for now, they lived in a place with great medical crews and if anything needed to be done, it would.

Despite her promise of only a few minutes longer, Aidan couldn't seem to sit still or focus. The temptation of free time was too great.

One difference between Ahsoka and Aidan was the way they grew up. If Ahsoka had acted the way Aidan was in front of her Jedi teachers, she would be solded annd punished. In a way, that took away her childhood. So Ahsoka tended to be much more lenient with Aidan.

"Alright, fine."She finally said."Go play."

 _He's still got a few years before the threat of war will be great. Stop trying to make him grow up so fast, Ahsoka._ She scolded herself.

 _Just because he lives with you doesn't mean he'll take after you._

And such was the struggle of being a single mother. A single mother with a death sentence,at that.

 _I may be endangering him, but I think I'm the best he has. Or at least, I like to think that. I don't know how Lux would raise a son alone._

She kept an eye on Aidan as she went on with her hand to hand combat practice alone.

* * *

When Bail Organa hosted groups of senators on Alderaan, it was always a difficult time in the Tano household.

It always started early in the morning after Aidan woke up and had his bath. He hated having his hair styled almost as much as Ahsoka enjoyed doing it.

"I'm not going to see them anyway, mama."He complained, squirming.

"You may be too young to meet them, but it's still good to look nice, once in a while." Ahsoka insisted."Now, I'm no styler droid like Bail insists Leia has, but I'd say your hair looks pretty good."

Stepping back to admire her work, Ahsoka crossed her arms in pride.

"Do I look like daddy?"Asked Aidan.

Ahsoka's heart wrenched as he asked that, looking so sweet and innocent and everything like a blonde verion of his father. "Yes, you do."She answered as she helped him jump down from the counter. But instead of letting go, Aidan clung to her. "Carry me."He pleaded.

"Aidan, you know I don't like being around these things." _All those Imperials make me nervous. Bail has a better advantage than I do when it comes to keeping your alliances secret._

 _"_ Are you scared?"

"Yes, I'm very scared." _Of what, you cannot know yet. I want to let you live as innocent to the truth as possible, with my introduction to combat being only the product of my paranoia to your safety._

With that, Ahsoka let Aidan to the floor. "Now run and find Leia. And be sure you stay out of trouble!" She added as he was off.

Not wanting to risk being caught by going out of her room, Ahsoka began to walk around and clean up a bit. She wasn't a neat freak, but she at least wanted things off the floor.

After she had done that, she glanced out the door to make sure she was alone. Most everyone was gone, but she couldn't lock the door in case Aidan needed to come back.

Going back into the room that was technically Aidan's, even if he didn't sleep in the bed there, Ahsoka let herself sink into the Force.

Meditation was a welcome escape for her nowadays. It was also a way for her to keep track of survivors of the purge. She could sense that Obi-Wan and Yoda at least had survived, and could also see Aidan and Leia scurrying down the halls, probably in a place they were not supposed to be.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and smiled. _Kids these days._

She wondered what she had been like at Aidan's age. If she thought Aidan was a handful, she was probably two.

In moments like this, meditating, Ahsoka welcomed being alone. Of course, she loved her son, but sometimes she needed alone time. She had well graduated from childish games and such and now needed just her thoughts to occupy herself.

Not a day went by when she didn't fear for Aidan, or think of Lux.

When she meditated, she resisted the urge to look into the forbidden. She, being a force user, had a one sided ability to...spy, it could be said, on others, even if they weren't force sensitive.

But one of the first rules that she had made after Aidan was born was that she would not do that to Lux.

Lux and she were intertwined,now, as far as the force was concerned. She would know if he were to die, or something of the such. But she wondered if Aidan would feel it also. He wasn't Jedi material, but that didn't mean he wasn't force sensitive.

The moment she thought of Lux, her mind became too clouded to meditate. Sighing, she rose from the floor and relocated onto her bed. Buried in the covers was Aidan's stuffed cat.

 _I remember, four years ago, when I hid a message in here for someone to find._

It was still there, untouched, by anyone but her.

Leaning her head back against the wall, Ahsoka sighed heavily, closing her eyes and hugging the stuffed toy close.

 _I don't often wish for things, because wishes seem never made true. Especially mine, because I wish the impossible._

 _My wish, every time, is for Lux._

* * *

Aidan had been gone for the whole day, and Ahsoka began to worry.

She was all set to go after him, regardless of the consequences, when a knock on the door came right on cue.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, but it's been a long day."Said Bail Organa, inviting himself in while he carried the sleeping forms of Leia and Aidan in either arm.

Ahsoka hadn't expected Bail Organa himself to return her son, and was as such a little flustered."Come in."She said, even though he was already into the sitting area.

When Ahsoka took Aidan back in her arms the little boy stirred, waking up.

"The two of them got into a lot of trouble today."Said Bail, but he was smiling. "Something involving Grand Moff Tarkin and several Imperial senators."

"Can't wait to hear this one."Ahsoka rolled her eyes and then laughed along with Bail as he made his way back towards the door. "Thank you, Bail."

"It's the least I could do after all you do for me. Undercover missions are not quite as deadly as taking care of two young ones, but it's close." And with that sarcasm, he bade farewell, with little Princess Leia still in his arms.

"Now."Ahsoka confronted Aidan when he was gone."What happened?"

Aidan suddenly seemed to be asleep as she asked this.

"Aidan..."

"Leia and I went to our secret place." Aidan said quietly, straight into Ahsoka's lekku.

After she sat down, Ahsoka held him out in front of her to make eye contact. "Why were you there?"

"It's where we hide from the teacher."Aidan said."When we don't want to have lessons."

"What have I told you about that, Aidan?"Ahsoka asked, exasperated."Leia may be a princess, but that doesn't mean that you are a prince. You don't have the same privileges."

"But I'm her friend!"

"Someday that will have to change."

Aidan was now somber as he considered this."But not for a while."

"Right."Ahsoka assured him."Not for a while. Now on with your story."

"We were hiding, and then the people came in. Leia's mom and dad were there too. They sat at the head of the big table and everyone else was around them. Leia knew a lot of them. She began telling me lots of names."

"Mm-hmm."Ahsoka bade him to continue.

"And when she got to the end, I had to sneeze."

 _Oh no._

Ahsoka felt like facepalming. A rookie mistake from her own son!

"And then he looked right at me."Said Aidan now. Ahsoka felt a shiver go through her son's tiny body and she hugged him closer."The man Leia called Tarkin."

A growl escaped the former Jedi's throat and Aidan reeled back in surprise."Mama?"

"I know that man. He is...evil." _To say the least._

"I could tell. It was in his eyes."Aidan said, sounding way beyond his years."And so we ran. But Leia wanted to go back."

"So we sat outside the doors."Her son continued."The guards didn't care."

 _Hmm... going to have to mention that to Bail. Aidan and Leia shouldn't be overhearing what they may speak of._

 _"_ And later they all came out at once. There were so many of them and it was scary. All the senators. And Leia ran. I ran too, but I fell and tripped."Aidan gestured to his knee, which Ahsoka could see that the pants were ripped there."And when I looked up, Tarkin was looking right at me. And Leia was gone. I was alone, and this giant Tarkin was there, looking mad."

 _Tarkin_.

Ahsoka pulled her son close once again. "I'm so sorry you were scared."

"What did he do, mama?"Aidan asked, and Ahsoka felt a tear drop onto her neck as Aidan cried."He hurt you once.I know he did. I don't know how."

 _It's our bond, son. "_ Tarkin is a bad man _._ It was alright to be scared."

"Does he know who I am?" Asked Aidan now.

"No." Ahsoka assured him. _He doesn't know that the little boy in front of him was the offspring of the woman he had tried to have executed. In fact, had I been executed, Aidan would have died too, since I was pregnant with him._

 _"_ I'm so sorry _."_ Ahsoka repeated, rocking Aidan back and forth.

"But there was someone nice, mama."Aidan said now.

"Was there?"

"Another man, a nice man, helped me up. He took me away from Tarkin."

"Do you know who he was? I may need to go thank him."

"I don't think Leia knew him."Said Aidan."But he talked to me too. He fixed up my knee and I told him that I was lost, and he tried to get me back to Leia. But then, he got lost too."Aidan chuckled now."Cause the palace is so big."

"Yeah, it is."Ahsoka agreed, happy at the turn of events.

"The man said he was a senator too. A new one. From the new planet."

"Which one?"Asked Ahsoka now wanted to let Aidan tire himself out and calm down as he kept talking.

"Ummm."Aidan hesitated and thought for a moment."It wasn't Alderaan, cause that's Leia's dad. But it sounded like Alderaan. Anyway, his name was Lux."

Ahsoka's heart skipped a beat when she heard that."You met the senator of Onderon?!" She demaded, trying to mask her shock.

 _I don't believe it. Lux and I were on the same planet, same building, and I missed him! But Aidan..._

 _Aidan was face to face with his father and didn't even know!_

 _"_ Yeah! Onderon!" Aidan exclaimed. "That one. Lux, senator of Onderon. He was nice."

"I'm sure he was."Said Ahsoka quietly.

"Mama, are you okay?"

Ahsoka didn't feel okay. Not at all. But she had to act like she was."Yes."She stammered."I'm fine. Tell me what he said."

"He talked a lot with me. He said that his daughter was around my age, and that he'd bring her next time, maybe, so we could play."

Now, with that new information, Ahsoka felt even sicker. _His...daughter. Lux has a daughter_. _Which means..._

"Did I meet Lux before, mama?"Asked Aidan now."He felt like Tarkin did, like I knew him."

"I met him."Said Ahsoka."A long time ago. Before- Before you were born."She stammered."I'm glad he's doing well."

But in reality, Ahsoka felt like her heart was being torn into a million pieces. Lux had a daughter with a woman other than her, which meant that he had likely married someone else.

"Mama?"

Ahsoka couldn't help it now. The revalation was too much. She began to cry.

Aidan had never seen his mother cry before, and it made him hurt too. "Mama don't cry."He said, but his voice was lost in the sound of Ahsoka's mourning.

 _I can't believe..._

 _But it's what I wanted for him, wasn't it? To forget about me... To live oblivious to the fact that I survived._

 _Why does it hurt so much, then?_

Ahsoka didn't officially recover that night, but she stopped crying enough to get Aidan into bed.

She didn't sleep at all that night.


	15. Chapter 15

For Aidan's sixth birthday, Ahsoka had promised to spend a whole week with him, just mother and son.

That was how it should always be, but between Ahsoka's working getting harder and Aidan's schooling becoming more rigorous, and not to mention being looked after alongside Leia, they really only saw each other at night and in the morning, rarely between.

Which wasn't enough time.

Ahsoka was absolutely itching to run away into the wilderness, or at least just _run_. She had too much energy for the work she did and needed some time away. She also hoped that Aidan could learn to appreciate the outdoors like she had.

So what better thing to do then take a week off to explore and spend time on the beautiful fields and rivers that Alderaan had, and maybe if Aidan was up to it some of the more dangerous areas as well.

"You're a little boy who needs to learn to play outside."She told Aidan as they disembarked. "Climb trees, swim in rivers, maybe I can teach you to hunt! Or is that too much?"

She expected no answer because Aidan was too busy looking out the window. When she turned around, however, she found him cowering in the co-pilot's seat with his arms above his head.

 _Now hold on._

The only time Aidan had ever flown before was when he was extremely young, like only a year old. And now, five years later, he seemed scared.

It had never occured to Ahsoka before that her son was scared of anything. He knew how to defend himself against bullies that teased him about the way he looked, or how he had no father, or whatever they'd come up with, thanks to the combat skills she had been teaching him.

"Aidan, what's wrong?" She asked, gently.

He peeked out from between his tiny fingers, and Ahsoka could definitely see fear in his eyes. "I don't like going away."He said simply.

 _Well that's... difficult to translate. Is he scared of leaving the ground, or Alderaan... Or..._

"I want to stay home, mama. I don't want to leave like you always do and like we did when I was little."

 _You still are little,_ thought Ahsoka, but considered his request.

"We aren't leaving home, Aidan. We're still on Alderaan,we're just flying to the other side of it, where all the fun stuff is. Fun to her, anyway.

Two little hands slowly came off of her son's face as he began to trust her words and smile. "So we aren't leaving home?"

"No." _Not yet_. "Is that what you were afraid of? That we were leaving?"

"Well usually... when you get into a ship, it means you're leaving me. You don't come back for a long time. I remember when you would leave, and bad things would happen to me. I don't want anymore bad things."

 _How does he remember that well?_ Ahsoka wondered. _He's either really observant, lucky, or that's his force senitivity kicking into his memory._

Nothing bad is going to happen now."Ahsoka assured him. "We're together, and I won't let anything hurt you. Did I ever, even when I left?"

Aidan shook his head."No."

"Then come over here." Ahsoka accepted the little boy into her arms as she left the ship on autopilot and lifted Aidan into her lap. "Look out there. We're so high you can see lots of trees."

Aidan leaned to where she pointed and went off balance, flailing back into her arms with a bump. Then he clutched her tightly by the shoulders as his eyes were wide."I don't like being so high up."

 _Oh boy. Scared of heights too? At least that's easier to fix than all the times I've already failed as a mother._

Why not?"

"My tummy hurts."Aidan explained and folded his legs underneath him in order to sit facing her. "I wanna get back on the ground."

Ahsoka pondered what to do about this. "I'm sorry your stomach hurts, Aidan. But we're not landing yet."

Aidan seemed as shocked as Ahsoka did when she reprimanded him. Now Ahsoka felt a bit sick too as she realized this was the first time she had ever disagreed with Aidan, except when he was a baby and she was trying to protect him. But even though she was his mother, it still felt... wrong, to correct him when he was hurting.

"Just try to go to sleep?"She asked."That's always good to do: just go to sleep when you don't feel well."

"Only if I can stay here."Aidan compromised.

"Well, alright. I _guess_ that's okay."Ahsoka said, rolling her eyes sarcastically and smiling as Aidan nuzzled closer to her and into her lap. He was almost too big to do that, but Ahsoka would never reject him.

Never.

And so she sat there, with her little boy in her lap, and reflected on what he said.

 _I'm sorry it seems that I'm always leaving. I'm sorry I'm not doing a good job in raising you. I try my best. But my best has never been good enough for anything._

Ahsoka rubbed his back soothingly as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, Aidan." She whispered, kissing his head. "Never forget that."

* * *

Once they landed, Ahsoka woke Aidan up. She knew he'd be mad at her for it, but she wanted him to see the night sky away from all the urbanization at their usual home.

"Wow!"Aidan breathed, forgetting his anger once he looked outside and saw the night sky and the stars. The next thing that caught his attention were the insects who emitted light as they flew around, creating tiny orbs for him to catch if he could.

"Don't go far."Ahsoka cautioned as he slid down from her arms and ran off.

For a moment, Ahsoka stood and watched with her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

 _Even if I didn't see it as so in the beginning, I've been truly blessed. The Force planned for me to have Aidan, and he's such a wonderful child._

Regarding her thoughts, Ahsoka realized that she sounded older in them. Had becoming a mother slowly, overtime, changed her mentally? Matured her more than her body showed?

Possibly.

Aidan grew, and so did Ahsoka. They both had gotten taller, Aidan exponentially so. Ahsoka's montrals contributed to some of her height, as did the long legs of the Togruta species.

Maybe it was from years of carrying Aidan about, but she also felt taller.

 _I've needed to be strong. Ever since the very beginning._

Aidan came running up to her with something in his hands. "Mama, I caught one!"

And as Ahsoka knelt down to see the tiny little lightning bug held within his palms, she remembered when he was a baby, and she would take him outside, and he'd come toddling up to her with whatever knew thing he could get his chubby baby hands on.

"Now let it go, and watch it fly away."She instructed, watching him release the insect from his grasp and it fluttered away.

"Let's catch another one! Together!" He exclaimed, and Ahsoka surprised him by sweeping him up into her arms and onto her shoulders, which was hard to do,because of her lekku, but was entirely worth it once she could hear the sweet, innocent laughs of her son, who for once in his life, wasn't a boy whose life depended on the result of war.

They ran around for what seemed to be hours, and eventually she had to stop. Ahsoka intended to settle down and build a small fire and explain how Aidan had gotten his Togruta name: little fire. And his basic name, for that matter, and how it related to his father...

"No, mama! Run! Run _fast_!" He insisted, when she tried to put him down.

"Oh really?"She looked up at him, refusing to show tiredness."How fast?"

" _Super_ fast!"

"Better hold on tight, then,"said his mom, and he obeyed, readjusting himself into a piggy-back position and wrapping his tiny arms around her neck.

So Ahsoka took off, with the approval of her son the only energy she needed.


	16. Chapter 16

"Don't worry, I'm taking care of him." Lux assured Ahsoka, from his spot on the couch with Aidan in his arms. The little boy was shivering, coughing a few times while his father put a careful hand on his forehead, beneath his hairline.

"Yeah, but who's taking care of you?" Ahsoka asked.

Lux chose to ignore her comment and continued doctoring Aidan. "His fever's worse, I think. Are you sure we shouldn't take him to the doctor?"

Ahsoka scoffed. "Lux, you know that "we" can't. I'm a danger the moment I step out of my own house, which we can't leave because you still have to play puppet senator for the Empire-"

"'Soka, you know I don't mean it."

"I'm a fugitive- He's known as my son, so he will be too. My children-"

" _Our_ children."Lux interjected again, causing her to glare.

"Yes, _our_ children."She added, casting a wayward glance toward the baby's room."Are growing up as fugitives."

Lux noticed her glance that way."Have you checked on him?"

"Not since this morning." Ahsoka responded."He's just sleeping, like newborns usually do."

"I would check, just in case, if I were you. We can't risk it."

Ahsoka nodded, and dissapeared into the baby's room and returned carrying the precious bundle. She sat down beside Lux, who couldn't help smiling as he tugged away the blanket from their baby's face to look at it.

"I really hope-"Ahsoka began, but then stopped. She couldn't finish.

"You really hope what?"Lux prodded.

Ahsoka only shook her head. "I just... I can't say it."

Lux looked at her with his solemn, dark blue eyes,pleading with her."I don't like it when you have something bothering you. Say it. It'll help."

"No. It's bad. I shouldn't say it."

"Ahsoka..."

"I hope that the force... I hope it didn't give us another son... Because Aidan is going to- to."

"No, no. No no... No."Lux kissed her forehead, right on the diamond her facial markings made."Of course not. It has no reason to."

"But it's all so... sudden."

"Then we heal Aidan. I'll take him off-world. I'm done sitting here watching him get sicker and sicker!" Lux's voice crescendoed until he nearly shouted. Then,in a much quieter voice he finished."I know people who will help. Let me take him- alone. We'll be fine. I promise."

Ahsoka didn't look at him, until he put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"He'll be fine."He repeated,"I promise."

Ahsoka was about to respond when, suddenly, she was quite rudely ripped away from him, and then she was waking up.

There was no Lux to assist her. Not really. He wasn't there touching her, helping her raise Aidan. They weren't living together and they didn't have another little one.

Her arms were empty.

" _He'll be fine. I promise_."

Ahsoka lifted her head and used her arms to push herself up from across Aidan's small, lanky body. He was sweating profusely,but at the same time overcome with chills.

"I'm sorry, Aidan."She whispered. "We're almost home, buddy. We'll be at a doctor soon."

The Lux in her dream was right- people would help them, if she knew where to wouldn't hesitate to help. He saw Aidan almost as a second child, a son along with Leia as his daughter.

Their pleasant interlude away from it all had ended prematurely in disaster. Aidan had gotten sick, and only seemed to be getting worse. It was some kind of flu.

Ahsoka was nearly about to pull her little boy into her lap and close to her when an alarm from the cockpit sounded.

Great, they were back. And now she got her wish; she picked up Aidan (even though he had gotten bigger, she had as well and her hips could still hold him close to her). As she hefted him up, Aidan whimpered and protested moving.

"Hold on, sweetheart." She whispered, as she simultaneously called Bail.

"Ahsoka!"He greeted, no doubt wondering what kind of a business call this was."You're back early."

"Aidan is sick."She anounced."Very, very,sick. We need help, and fast. I've no experience with human illnesses and I need someone who is."

"Of course. I can't come, I have work but-"

"I don't know if it's contagious. Don't send Leia."

"I wasn't planning on it. Go to my personal medical wing. If anyone stops you, tell them to talk to me."

"I can't thank you enough, Bail!"Ahsoka exclaimed in relief, as Aidan groaned and burrowed his head deeper into her shoulder.

She knew the younger, not yet a mother Ahsoka would've never asked for this kind of help. But for Aidan, she would.

She would do _anything_. Without hesitation, she'd switch places with him, lay down her life for him, _whatever he needed,_ at any time.

Ahsoka couldn't easily run with Aidan in her arms, with him being sick. He didn't like to be jostled at the moment, so putting him on her back was out of the question. She adjusted him on her hip and continued walking briskly to the palace.

Stairs seemed easy when she had a mission. Well, they were always easy, but it should've be harder when carrying an extra 50 pounds.

"Mama..."Aidan cried weakly, shaking all over.

"Shh..."She responded, rubbing his back, kissing his forehead."We're almost there, the doctor will make you better because Mama can't."

 _I should be able to_.

The guilt gnawed at her inside her mind, the dark side trying to mess with her. She shook it away.

A few officials stared at the average-dressed Togruta woman and the scraggly human boy in her arms, but once they realized who she was (and most of them did know) they turned away, a bit fearfully.

 _That's right. Be scared. Togruta mothers are_ not _to be messed with._

They asked her to leave him while they checked him over. She didn't, instead stood at Aidan's head where he could see her and reassured him.

 _At least it's not the kind of flu Togruta get. That kind is much more deadly, easpecially for children._

 _"_ It's just a common flu, Ma'am."Said the head doctor. "He should recover with medication."

"Should?"Ahsoka asked.

The medic pursed his lips. "It's been especially bad this year. But all we can do is give him medicine, and hope he's not too far into it." As doctors often did, he flashed a fake smile as if that would reassure her.

It didn't. It seemed ridiculous.

A _common_ flu made Aidan this sick?

 _I don't think he's right... Then again, he is the one with the experience._

She half listened to whatever else the doctor said, but was mostly focused on Aidan: who was back in her arms, safe, mostly, as she rocked him back and forth.

And then she carried him back to their room and laid him in bed, sitting beside him.

 _I wish I didn't have to go through this alone._

It occured to Ahsoka that Aidan hadn't eaten for nearly a day. She didn't want to have to force him, but she knew that he needed the nutrients to help fight off disease.

"Do you want to eat?"She asked.

As expected, he shook his head weakly.

"Are you sure? You need to eat something soon?"

He shook again."Don' wan' eat." He turned on his side, away from Ahsoka, and hugged his stuffed cat close.

Ahsoka wasn't keeping track, but it seemed like Aidan had been losing weight from being sick. He seemed a bit lighter as Ahsoka had carried him around all today, and he looked a bit lankier than usual.

"I need you to eat." Ahsoka insisted."I'll get some soup. That'll be easy."

Aidan groaned quietly, but Ahsoka wouldn't, couln't take no for an answer.

When she returned, Aidan was obviously faking sleep, but Ahsoka finally relented and let him be. She didn't know why, maybe it was because of the obvious signs that he was in serious pain (his fever was still incredibly high, especially if Ahsoka's hand even felt warm, because a Togruta's body temperature is much higher than a human's) and his breathing continued to be raspy and strained.

Sighing, she left Aidan's would be dinner on the bedside table and laid down beside him.

* * *

After a week of sickness, Aidan's fever finally broke and he slowly returned to his normal, happy, cheeky self, running around, playing around with Leia, and getting into all sorts of trouble.

Another thing that was new to him was the fact that Ahsoka considered him old enough to begin learning official, practical self-defense. She woke him up every morning and ran kata, and to keep him motivated and give him a target she made her own.

She had learned the hard way that little kids had a hard time controlling themselves when it came to the part of the art that involved two man drills. So they didn't do that quite yet.

"Focus..."She chided, having to redraw Aidan's focus to her. "You mirror me. Remember your first kata?" Jogging his memory with the first move, Aidan followed and launched into it, much too fast and sloppy.

"Woaah!"Ahsoka exclaimed."Too fast, slow it down." She walked to him and took his wrists, guiding his moves to make them strong and precise. "Practice slowly and well, and then when you have to fight for real, it will work."

Aidan threw a double claw strike that looked more like a paw to Ahsoka. "No, you're making a claw, remember? Like a big cat. An Akul. _Grr!"_ She demonstrated for him, and he laughed. "It's for striking soft areas, like the throat."

"Have you fought with it before?"He asked.

"Too many times."She responded.

"Mama, can you fight a lot of guys at once?" He asked next.

"Define a lot."

"Five!" Aidan said the number with such authority that it seemed much bigger than it was in reality.

Ahsoka laughed."Yes. I can beat five guys easily." _I've done it many times._

 _"_ Ten? _"_ Aidan rose the stakes a little bit.

Ahsoka nodded."I fought ten guys when I was rescuing your father, once."

"A hundred?"

"Hmm, maybe not _that_ many."Ahsoka admitted. "It depends on how motivated I am or what weapon I have."

Aidan nodded, but in a way he seemed dissapointed.

"I'll tell you what."Ahsoka said, kneeling down to Aidan's level."If you practice well, then maybe we can beat a hundred guys together."

"If _anybody_ tries to hurt you, mama, I'll take them out by myself! Like this!" Aidan recklessly threw a sloppy punch that only instinct helped Ahsoka to block.

Ahsoka put her open hand down that she had used to protect her face. "I'm sure you will,son. It's good to know I have such a fearless protector by my side." She stood up and ruffled Aidan's head of blonde hair."You can start probving your skills by showing me the first kata again. Slow it down, do it well."

Aidan took his instructions well into consideration this time around. His moves were slower, neater, much more defined, like a true Jedi.

"Remember to look behind you once in a while."Ahsoka reminded, about halfway through. You could have men coming at you from all sides.

His moves and stances got lazy now near the end.

"No, you need to block. Block!"Ahsoka swung a much slowed down fist toward his temple that Aidan blocked with an exaggerated sound affect.

"Right block, left elbow-here comes the kick!"Ahsoka kicked to what would be hardly knee height on her but about groin level to Aidan.

"Kick!"Aidan returned the move, even though it wasn't part of the kata.

"Uh-uh."Ahsoka protested, stopping all movement."I don't know what you're doing anymore, but it sure isn't right." She couldn't justify being mad at him though, he was young,and doing well. He just had focus issues.

"Alright, go play."She finally relented when Aidan began to bounce in place and pout.

He scurried off in a flash, going to find Leia and cause trouble, no doubt.

 _I suppose that's what happens when you have a Tano and a Skywalker together._ Ahsoka thought with a smile. _Trouble is bound to happen._

With that, she comtinued her morning alone, with only her thoughts to keep her occupied and accountable.


	17. Chapter 17

Ahsoka knew that sooner or later, her enemies were going to find out about Aidan.

She just didn't expect it to be so soon. He was only six years old, and had never been off of Alderaan with her, excluding when they had moved so much when he was a toddler. But the Empire had been newly formed then, and she had protected him well.

Or so she thought.

It must have been a spy that had seen him with her. Or had that snake Tarkin connected the dots? If so, Ahsoka did have to give him some credit, because that was hard to do, especially with Aidan looking as he did.

But, however it had happened, they knew. Though Ahsoka doubted that the Empire knew she did. The force helped with that: giving her dreams and visions that helped a glimpse to the future, of her having to rescue him, barter for his life as both of them were held at blaster point.

These often left her restless and unable to sleep again, until she looked beside her ans was reassured of Aidan being safe beside her as he slept on,undisturbed. If he were still a small baby, she would've pulled him into her arms and cuddled him until the morning. Now, however, she just laid even more protectively around him.

And she hated leaving him alone. Absolutely hated it.

Well she never left him _alone_ , alone but she did send him off with Leia and their caretakers, which was close enough.

And may have been her mistake.

Ahsoka woke up one morning with a foreboding sense around her. As she helped get Aidan ready, he kept asking her."what, mama?" And she would just shake her head and continue buttoning his shirt or combing his hair or whatever it was she was doing.

Aidan had learned pretty quickly that if Ahsoka didn't want to talk about something she wouldn't. As soon as her movements became autonomous, as if she wasn't thinking about them at all, the little boy knew that it was best to let his mother think. Ahsoka really appreciated his maturity like that. He seemed very understanding,just like Lux could be.

"Mama, I don't want to go today."Aidan suddenly said, interrupting her thoughts.

She looked at her son in surprise."Why's that, Aidan? Are you not feeling well?" She was very careful about it now, ready to put him on bed rest as soon as he even had a headache.

"No. You aren't."He said,"you don't want me to go out. You're worried about me, so I'll stay with you." To punctuate, Aidan maneuvered himself into her arms and hugged her neck. Then, standing, she picked him up and into the air."I'm not feeling well?"She asked."How do you know that?"

"I just do."He stated confidently.

"Well, regardless of how I feel, you still need to go to school today to learn, okay?" It was hard, because truly more than anything Ahsoka did want him home with her today, because her instincts screamed danger. But she didn't believe there was anything to be afraid of.

How wrong she had been. How much she should have listened to him, heeded his warning.

Mere hours after Aidan had left, a very frightened looking Bail Organa burst into her house, not startling her, thanks to the force,but rather surprsing her more than anything because of how panicked he looked.

"Leia and Aidan have been taken!"He announced, panting, still not having let go of the door handle.

"By who?"Was the only thing Ahsika could muster in her shock.

"I don't know."He responded."Whoever they were, they knocked out my guards and they have no recollection of their attacker."

At this revelation, Ahsoka wasted no time in sprinting to the enormous library, where Aidan and Leia had their lessons. In a room in back, two guards slumped against the wall, and inside the door, the teacher lay on the floor, also incapacitated.

Ahsoka scanned the room for any sign, any clue of who could have done this. But her Jedi powers lacked in that area, and she had honestly no idea.

It was when one of the guards stirred that both Ahsoka and Bail pratically pounced on the poor man, who luckily didn't seem alarmed at all.

"I've not the slightest idea who he was, but I'm pretty sure they were a bounty hunter."

"Bounty hunter? Here on Alderaan! In the palace?"Bail exclaimed defensively.

"Only bounty hunters have the kind of dart that knocked them out,"explained Ahsoka, examining the projectile in her hand.

"And you! Were you even doing your job!"Roared Bail to the poor man."Allowing a blasted bounty hunt-"

"Bail."Ahsoka calmed the enraged senator with a stern word and an outstretched arm."Look. We've got a clue. It's probably a trap, but whoever they are, they're holding Aidan and Leia hostage."

After his brief anger and humiliation, Bail recovered and was once again fueled by the kidnapping of his daughter. He turned to Ahsoka."My work can wait. I've got to find Leia!"

"I doubt they meant to take her."Ahsoka admitted. "They were probably after Aidan. Somehow, someway,that had to be true, no matter how much she hated it.

"Please, sir."The guard pleaded before Bail could take off again. "Let me assist you. You were right about my terrible job, and I don't wish for any harm to come to our princess."

Bail considered a moment, then nodded."Have a ship prepared. Not my usual, we'll have to travel in disguise."

The guard nodded and ran off. They'd yet to get his name.

"Ahsoka, I'll meet you there." Said Bail, already jogging off, his robe billowing out behind him. "I can't go looking like this!"

She nodded in agreement and understanding. She'd worked with senators before and they never traveled in such glamor when the job may involve biolence.

Ahsoka found herself thankful she had her lightsabers again, which she had grabbed before rushing over here. In frustration and nervousness, she was gripping the handles tightly, to the point her callouses bled a bit.

And then she took off running toward the hangar.

* * *

The whole ride there was anxious for both parents, being terribly worried for their respective children and wondering what mistakes they had made that led to this.

The only person who seemed remotely calm was Lieutenant Kace. The young guard of of Alderaan had calmed down considerably once it was promised he could help locate the missing princess.

And the whole ride there, Ahsoka was contemplating her parenting methods. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to let Aidan be with Leia all the time, for both their sakes. Maybe it was time to leave and go somewhere... else.

She wasn't sure where, though. She didn't want to have to take him anywhere else. She didn't know where it was safe.

And most of all, she didn't want Aidan to have to leve the life he had come to enjoy. The life he _deserved_.

Ahsoka could feel anger rising within her, threatening to show itself in a feline growl or something of the such, but at the same time, she was tempted to do something as silly as to chirp, as if Aidan could hear from wherever he was.

But she hadn't chirped with him in forever. After he became old enough to talk, they had stopped. He had probably forgotten how, or lost the ability. She wasn't ure which one it was. Togruta women always had the skill, though,to help communicate with their babies, of which there were often many.

Bail stopped his pacing and finally looked at her."In all my strife, I've not even asked you. How are _you_ doing?

"Worse than you are, I'll bet." She responded."If they were after Aidan, then they know who he is. I just can't risk them learning that he's force sensitive too. It's not just me."She had lowered her voice at the last part, just in case it wasn't safe to say.

"You've not been able to tell if Leia is like that too?"Asked Bail, now worried at the reminder of force sensitive children."With her parentage-"

"It's very faint."Said Ahsoka."Not enough to pose any real problems."

Bail looked at her a moment, as if he didn't believe her, and then decided to trust her.

"Have you fought this bounty hunter before?"He asked. The name disn't sound familiar to me."

"I've fought nearly every major bounty hunter in the galaxy, and I don't recognize the name either."Ahsoka declared matter of factly."Which makes walking into their trap riskier. Though I'm starting to think this isn't a bounty hunter's work. I know they'll do anything for money, but I dount any Imperial who wants me dead would resort to a bounty hunter. They'd just amass a hige army and kill me themselves.

"And that is the exact reason I want my son back." She finished, matter of factly."We were made to believe it's a bounty hunter. I believe it is an inquisitor."

"An inquisitor?"Asked Bail.

"A servant of the Emperor. They specialize in killing Jedi. Which is why I've got to hurry before they realize the potiential of both Aidan and Leia."

"I concur wholeheartedly."Agreed Bail. He made a move to walk back to the cockpit in an effort to urge their pilot to go faster.

Staring into the darkness of space, Ahsoka couldn't help the fear and dread making its way knto her brain. She would know if Aidan died. She knew that. Right now, she could feel his pain and fear and even his crying and screams of her name. Leia's too, even though she was trying to be strong. They both were, but they were just kids. Young kids, who disn't know any better. Shouldn't have to know, or deal with something like being kidnapped.

"Aidan, I'm coming."Ahsoka whispered to no one. She walked to the side of the ship and put her hand on the glass as if the otherside was his hand, and she was reaching out to him to reassure him. She could almost feel the warmth of skin returning the gesture. But when she opened her eyes-

There was nothing.

It was just like when Lux had left her, alone, inside the ship that had taken them all across the galaxy, and had officially led to the beginning of their whirlwind romance. He was there, then he was not. It had been the same on Onderon; they were together,then they were not.

Lux wasn't here now, either. Ahsoka had loved Lux, then lost him. And continued to love him, even if he didn't know she was alive to return the love. Plus, he had a new life now.

She loved him throught their son.

And now Aidan wasn't here, either. Ahsoka may lose him, too. And she couldn't bear that. Wouldn't be able to live with that.

So while Bail called his wife to help find strength, and to mourn with, Ahsoka called on the force. She didn't have Lux. She did have a commlink, technically, she could call Lux. But how would he be able to help?

It hurt Ahsoka to realize that Lux had to now be affiliated with the very people that had arranged their son's capture. Though who was he to know? He had no reason to. Ahsoka couldn't be angry at him.

She could wish all she wanted. Wish that Lux were here, which that Anakin was here, that Padmé was here, that Obi-Wan was here or that Barriss had never turned, even if it had kept her and Aidan safe.

She could wish all she wanted, for her, Lux and Aidan to be together and safe, and happy.

She could wish all she wanted, but it'd never come true.


	18. Chapter 18

Ahsoka could hardly bear another moment away from her son. She wished she could just run ahead and deal with things herself, the easy stealthy Jedi way but she had to wait for Bail. Their guard friend, Anson, waited on the ship to be the getaway pilot.

Bail had changed into a less limiting outfit, one that allowed him to run and fight as they most likely would have to. The tense fear radiated off both parents as they went about their mission, having tracked the captive to an old broken down warehouse on some distant Outer-Rim planet.

Ahsoka shivered at the thought of a warehouse, thinking back to her ordeal with the nanodroid fiasco and fighting Barriss inside of one.

What a time that was. It seemed so long ago, not just a mere six years.

When Ahsoka worried, she went uncharacteristically quiet. On any other day, Bail would've worried about her. But right now, he was quiet too as they snuck along, Ahsoka's stomach churning wildly with every step.

She instinctively held up an arm to stop Bail when she heard voices. The gesture was close to the one once used with Rex and the rest of her men, and brought back mixed feelings.

The two of them heard voices, one of them a child's voice,protesting quite adamantly against their current circumstances. When she peeked around the corner, Ahsoka could see that it was Leia protesting so strongly. In her shrill but powerfully mature tone she went on and on about how she was a princess of Alderaan and they'd be sorry.

From the way he nearly fought against her arm, Ahsoka could tell how desparately Bail wanted to get to his daughter. She couldn't blame him. She herself wanted nothing more than to rush in there and rescue them.

But she couldn't just yet.

What she heard next made her blood boil.

"We weren't supposed to get the girl too."Said a man."That could ruin our plans. It could turn the house of Alderaan against us."

Finding a convienient eye-sized hole in the wall, Ahsoka peeked inside to see if she could see the speakers. She couldn't. But what she could see was Aidan and Leia in a cage like contraption. Leia was still going on but Aidan had folded up into a human ball and rocked back and forth in the corner. Ahsoka could tell he'd been crying.

 _Be brave, my son._

 _"_ We'll have to explain when the time comes. Besides, they'll turn over the Jedi omce they realize who she is." Said another voice. It was uncanny. Ahsoka recognized it instantly. "It was just a mistake. Do you understand that?" Grand Moff Tarkin leaned down to Leia's level."You'll be back to your father in no time, safe and sound. And he'll not be blamed for harbouring a known criminal- as long as he stays loyal to the Emperor.

Leia growled at him.

"How...charming."Said Tarkin dryly."I just love children. Take care of them, Lieutenant. I have a new set of orders to get from Lord Vader. Once he finds out what we've done, he'll no doubt be pleased."

"If I recall sir, Lord Vader said to capture the Jedi and kill her. Not her son."

"You don't understand. I know Ahsoka Tano. She's an anomaly. Once I found out who this boy was- I knew he'd be a help to us. She'll come running. She'll do anything to save him. And then-"

"We'll kill them both!"

Tarkin raised an eyebrow."No. We will kill Ahsoka Tano... and then the boy wil be turned over to the Emperor. He seems to have a need for children like him. Children with the possiblility of force sensitivity."

When Tarkin got close to Aidan, Ahsoka resisted yet another urge to rip that man to pieces. _Take my son to Vader! Well, we'll see about that!_

 _"_ Very good, sir. _"_ Said the lieutenant. Ahsoka didn't recognize him, and Tarkin hadn't said his name, so he remained anonymous.

"Do you think they mean it?"Whispered Bail."They'd let me take the children and go? But that would leave you to fight an army alone. I can't do that to you."

"You may have to."Ahsoka said back. "You can get Leia, but not Aidan. So take Leia and go. I'll... Figure something out."

Bail made a noise like a scoff."I won't leave you to fight all alone!"

"You have to."Hissed Ahsoka. "Go, or I'll push you in there!"

The senator gave her a look, but then squared his shoulders and took a breath, stepping from his hiding place.

Both children perked up, and Leia even risked a "Daddy!" when she saw him. Aidan looked up, but seemed to understand that he wasn't getting out of here with him.

As planned, Bail was able to negotiate his daughter back once he had convinced the lieutenant that he had certainly, most definitely, come alone. Ahsoka Tano was not anywhere near them. At all. After all, Bail was a loyal Imperial senator. How would he know one of the most wanted criminals in the galaxy?

And so the cage was opened and Leia was allowed out. When she realized that Aidan was staying, her stubborn side kicked in and she began putting on a big spectacle. Both kids were yelling now: yelling for each other, saying how they wanted to stay together, even in the cage.

Aidan was grasping onto the bars of his prison and trying to somehow wrench them free by pulling on them. Finally, Bail picked up his distraught daughter even as she howled and pounded on his back defiantely. Then, purely by chance, the little boy looked up and made eye contact with his mother through the hole she looked out of.

Ahsoka tried to somehow shush her son, but it was too late. "Mama!"Aidan yelled, distraught as he began to cry.

"Bail, run!" Ahsoka cried and activated her lightsabers. At once, Bail obeyed, sprinting away with a sobbing Leia holding tightly to him.

Stormtroopers poured out from every which way, having been alerted by the alarm that the rather startled Lieutenant. Not caring about the fact that she had likely just given away Bail's affiliation with the Rebellion, Ahsoka fended off soldier after soldier. She only cared about her son.

So it was only natural for her to look up when she heard him scream her name again.

"Stop!" A booming voice shouted, and the stormtroopers stepped back. Ahsoka still held her weapons at the ready."Put down your weapons, or the boy dies."

The lieutenant had a blaster trained on Aidan's head as he held him in a chokehold. It tore at her heartstrings to hear her son's fear as he cried.

If it had been anyone else, Ahsoka may have considered to continue fighting. Instead she immediately dropped her sabers in order to save her son.

She didn't expect to get him released from that. And she was right.

"Now kill her."

She expected this part too. It wouldn't matter to her if she had her lightsabers or not. She could fight either way. But as long as Aidan was a hostage, she was restricted to how she could handle things.

 _Aidan wanted to see me fight more than ten men at once? Well, here's his chance_ , Ahsoka thought, narrowing her eyes and gripping her sabers tighter.

But before she could swing, the boice of the lieutenant stopped her. "If you kill any of my men!"He boomed, "Then the boy gets it." His grip on Aidan tightened and the boy cried harder.

Alright, so she had to defend against a three squads of soldiers with only her hands and feet. She could do this, it was for Aidan after all.

The disavantage to the way the stormtroopers had surrounded her was that they didn't risk shooting her because it would go past her and hit one of their comrades. So they instead used their blasters as clubs, foolishly rushing forward as if that would do anything.

The first one fell to the blade of her well shaped foot that wedged its way under the arm where there was a break in the armor. The second went unbalanced as he tried to hit her, and she twisted his arm behind his back and simultaneously dodged another attack that hit her captive in the back.

 _Two down, only about forty to go._

Aftershe'd left nearly half the troopers on the ground hurt or unconscious, the leiutenant began to grow nervous and carried the screaming Aidan away. Ahsoka rushed after them, now with blaster bolts going towards her back which she ducked and wove through.

As she kept chasing like a predator does its prey, Ahsoka finally rounded a corner and found herself to be a considerable distance from the stormtroopers. With that in mind, she used the force to bring down debris across the way so that they wouldnMt be able to get through.

That left just her, the lieutenant, and Aidan, who was really fighting now, to the point he was hard to keep ahold of. The next time he shouted her name, she responded in Togruti.

"Bite him!"

Aidan used his fangs to chomp into soft human flesh. And he didn't immediately let go. In shock and pain, the leiutenant lost his grip and his blaster as Aidan ran free to his mother. "Mama!"He squealed happily and hugged her legs tightly.

Then Ahsoka held him behind her. "I'd like to kill you right now."She told the now very much afraid Leiutenant, who quavered under her gaze, and her now activated lightsaber. She held the upper hand now and could use whatever force she wished. "But I think there are other plans."

Her temporary dam broke under the pressure of those on the other side. However, when the debris cleared, it was several members of the Royal Alderaan guard who poured out, instead of stormtroopers. They had all been rounded up, and now Bail Organa led a handful of guards to surround the lieutenant, who cradled his hand as a bit of blood trickled down and onto the ground of the warehouse.

"You're under arrest, and the Empire has much explaining to do as to why they would dare think to kidnap my daughter!" Said Bail deliberately, and took great joy in leading his new captive away.

Ahsoka bent down to Aidan's level now, getting a chance to look him over."Are you okay?"She asked, using her hands to comb through his hair and feel for injuries and tilted his face both ways to scan it. Aidan was too tired to protest."I think I'm ready to learn how to beat guys up, now."

"Okay."She chuckled, hugging him again."We can start tomorrow. She had found nothing of alarm except for his eyes that were red from crying.

"This is why I don't like leaving you." He said into her shoulder, now somber even with their past shared moment of being happily reunited.

His mother heaved a big sigh and picked him up on her hip. She smiled at Bail, who had stayed behind to make sure the two of them were okay. "Thank you."She told him,and he nodded.

"I may have compromised your safety."She pointed out.

"We both knew it was just a matter of time before we were found out. Besides, I can talk my way out of this one, I'm sure. Especially with the... _sincere_ apologies I've received."

Ahsoka had to stop and adjust Aidan a bit. He was getting bigger and heavier as he got older. She was too, but she'd stop eventually. "I need you to walk, okay? I need to talk to Bail."

Aidan obeyed and slid down from her arms before running off to find Leia.

"You don't need to be so nice, Bail. I know we need to leave. For everyone's sake."

The senator's face fell."As much as I want to deny it... I think you're right. Though I don't understand how you could do that with Aidan. He's too young to go off to the fighting."

"I don't want to."

"And you don't need to. Stay, Ahsoka. We need you. Just a while longer."

She pursed her lips. "Bail, I really don't think I ca-"

"For Aidan."

Oh, great. He's found her weakness. But it was true. She would stay for him. Everything she did was for Aidan. If not for him, she'd probably have been a lot less careful and dead by now.

"For Aidan."She agreed, and boarded the ship with Bail at her side, the two of them watching their children play, finally at peace, even with the trials of the past few days.


	19. Chapter 19

By the time Aidan was ten years old, and many seasons had passed on Alderaan, his mother had seen incredible growth from him, both in combat and in life. He was in that preeteen stage where he began to get growing pains, hopefully the harbringer of a future where his limbs, particularly his legs, began to fit him.

Despite his changing body, however, Ahsoka could see mastery of the combat arts that could only be from someone force sensitive. Or perhaps it was his Togruta instincts, because Aidan was in no other way force sensitive besides his adaptivity.

And his freakishly good mind reading skills.

Ahsoka hadn't taught him this, but he seemed able to just look at someone and begin to tell everything about them. Which was utterly confusing for the victim,and dangerous for Aidan himself.

And as he grew older and stronger,more independent, Ahsoka slipped off for longer and longer times. Sometimes she'd be gone for a few whole days and just trust that Aidan would be okay with Bail and Leia.

He always was, even with what had happened in the past.

It seemed all the energy Ahsoka's body was using to grow had gone to help Aidan, after Ahsoka had reached her final height of six foot one, with her lekku trailing all the way down to waist. Sometimes, she would look in the mirror and couldn't believe it was her, even if nobody else seemed to notice the changes her body was going through. Aidan would giggle and say,"You're growing too, mama!" And would insist that she measure herself too every time he did. Which she complied.

And the older Aidan got, the more he looked like Lux. It was a harsh reminder, as they both grew up and wondered if anyone would remember them. Sometimes, Ahsoka wondered if Lux would ever even recognize her.

When she was sure that Aidan wouldn't catch her, she'd sometimes break her vow to herself and look up pictures of her former lover, see how he'd grown too. It hurt to see him in an Imperial uniform, and sometimes more when she saw his daughter with him.

It was one such time now. With her son having fallen asleep while working on school, Ahsoka had gently situated him in bed and then settled down herself. When she got away with it, she'd often sleep separately from him now, and pretend that she'd just woken up before him. But when she returned after a couple days gone from a mission, she couldn't refuse him.

So now she sat on the bed with her back against the wall, knees pulled up in front of her as she disgustedly scrolled through Imperial news, scanning for any news of Lux or Onderon or anything of the such.

Tonight didn't prove fruitful. She dissapointedly put the datapad up after about thirty minutes. When she lay back, her exceptional hearing could pick up Aidan's not-quite-snoring-but-definitely-at-least-heavy-breathing in the room on the other side of the wall.

 _I'm going to have to fix that... Snoring can be bad..._ She told herself that, but couldn't help but contradict herself, remembering the good old times back when she was a commander and would go to sleep nearly every night,surrounded by the identical snores of her soldiers.

Lux had snored too, from what she could remember. It was pleasant, though, the kind that lulled you to sleep. The kind that you couldn't get enough of.

Her last thoughts frequently were about Lux. Secretly she hoped that it would help her dream about him again, even though she had no control. That was the frustrating part.

As Aidan got older, he asked more and more questions about his absent father. Ahsoka answered less and less truthfully, hoping that eventually Aidan would stop altogether. He asked hard questions, not just the "why is he not here" but also the,"does that mean he's dead" or Aidan sometimes wondered if his dad was an enemy now. Which in a way was true. Ahsoka was very thankful that despite all the comments he got from others, Aidan never asked if he was adopted.

Aidan's origin story was too complicated for her to tell, yet too extraordinary for her to forget. Being much more matured now, Ahsoka often looked back to the moment that her younger, more foolish self had made choices that contributed to Aidan's being here now. Most women would've been dissapointed in themselves, but not her. Instead,she was thankful. Even though he was definitely not planned, Aidan changed her life,in a good way,forever.

Looking back on her seventeen year old self again, Ahsoka remembered how scared she had been to discover she was pregnant, and then even more so to have to fight for the life of her and her unborn child as she ran away from the Order... and then couldn't be with Lux again.

The experience had helped her to grow into a much more responsible adult than she ever imagined herself being.

With all this on her mind, Ahsoka found that she couldn't sleep, which seemed a common phenomenon about her now. Between work and Aidan and worrying about both those things, her mind was pretty clouded. When she sat up and got out of bed to meditate instead, the cool air in the room rippled theough her sleepclothes and to her bare skin, like a message from the force.

Everything's going to be alright, it seemed to say.

 _Yeah, right._ Ahsoka knew better. As soon as she immersed herself into meditation she could feel the trouble elsewhere. Even trouble in the future. As if her and Aidan hadn't suffered enough, her visions showed more and more suffered for the both of them, even others too. Like Leia, and Bail...

Even with closed eyes Ahsoka's eyebrows still narrowed and she frowned during a particular snippet of a vision: her older son, alone, and terribly beat up by who knows what. The concept made her growl at the back of her throat, a harsh rumbling noise that tended to scare others away. A sound unique to the Togruta voice, that Aidan couldn't imitate. He'd also long since lost the ability to chirp.

In short, Aidan was growing up. And it hurt Ahsoka to think about it. Brought her to tears, even. She thought of the first time she's felt him growing inside her, and once the shock and the doubt had subsided she had fallen in love with him, and sworn to protect him. And then there was the first time she ever saw him with her eyes. After he was born, with his bright red skin and eyes squeezed tightly shut against the light. His newborn screams, which announced his arrival, were music to her ears.

She hated to think that her little boy was growing up and would be exposed to horrors of the war-filled galaxy. He already had been, in fact, and it had in a way changed him to be much more serious when it came to things like combat. He had began to ask about weapons, but Ahsoka was hesitant to give him any,even if she had her firstightsaber at a little less than half his age. She did have an idea for his weapons-to-be, however. Something short-range and dual-wielded...

Still finding it hard to sleep, Ahsoka slipped out of her bed and tip-toed to Aidan's room, looking in to see her son sleeping peacefully,as he should be. Then the instinct became too great to ignore, and she walked over and climbed into bed beside him, for a change, and saw him smile in his sleep as she cuddled him close.

At least, he wasn't old enough to be easily embarrassed.

* * *

"Mama?"

Ahsoka opened one eye from her meditation to see Aidan looking in on her. "Yes Aidan?"

"Can I come in?"

Inwardly, Ahsoka wondered if he was finally showing intrest in meditation and agreed eagerly,quite proud of her son. But it soon became clear that Aidan was not there to join her.

"How big is your head?"He asked, suddenly, putting both his hands across her brow in an effort to measure. The gesture startled her a bit, since she had been so unfocused. Aidan's hands were much cooler than her own skin because of his differing body temperature, a more human one.

Accustomed to questions like this, Ahsoka recovered easily and took his hands off. "What?"She chuckled, and Aidan asked again. He didn't understand why she laughed: to him this question was totally normal, especially for the purposes he was asking.

Her son backed away from her, suddenly bashful. "I just... Need to know." He saif mysteriously, rocking back and forth."For something."

She raised an eyebrow at him, but eventually let him come forward and place his hands on her forehead again. This time, the cool feeling was welcome. After a few moments, the feeling left as Aidan deemed his task achieved,and ran off just as quickly as he had appeared.

Ahsoka had tried to catch him off guard after that to possibly see what he was doing with his newly found information. It was quite odd, him asking for her head measurement, and she couldn't help but be intrested. Anytime she got close, however, Aidan guarded his work, by shoving it behind him or under the bed or something,to the point that she had no choice but to stay in the dark.

His strange behavior went on for about a week until what he was working on was revealed. While she was cooking one morning he had marched right up to her, hiding his creation behind his back. "Mama?"

"Mmm-hmm?"Ahsoka hummed back as she worked, focused on preparing the meal. Her unfocus didn't faze Aidan, who began his narrative. "Leia'n I were out one day, since the weather was nice. We found some cool-looking stones. I thought you would like one, but I didn't know how to give it to you."

"Then I remembered how upset you were when you couldn't wear your old headdress. So I made you a new one."

Ahsoka was touched. Her ten year old son already demonstrated as big a heart as his father! But she was almost dreading turning around to see it. Of course she would say it is beautiful, that was her motherly duty,but it may not be beautiful at all. But when she turned around-

"Wow,Aidan!"She exclaimed, and was truly surprised. It was beautiful, with several stripes of maroon and silver with the diamond-shaped stone set in the middle. It _was_ beautiful.

"Do you like it?"He asked, as if he knew that she may lie to him about it.

"I love it!" She responded, and he smiled wide. "It should fit, as long as you didn't get a bigger head!"

"You need to be careful when you talk to women like that." Ahsoka warned, but it didn't bother her. She leaned down and scooped her son into a big hug and oofed a bit."You're head is getting bigger, it seems."She teased."Along with the rest of you."

When Aidan put his gift onto her head, right in front of her montrals, it fit perfectly and comfortably, and Ahsoka really did like it. Once again, Aidan had suprised her. Not with his growing or his strength, but with his craftiness. There was a little bit of peaceful Lux-ness inching its way into his personality.

"You look pretty now, Mama." Aidan complimented, squirming to be let down. He was much too big and grown up to be carried around by his mother anymore! "But you already look pretty anyway."

"Thank you, Aidan. You're very _handsome_ as well.She said, emphasizing the adverb in case he was offended.

The boy blushed a bit, the skin of his cheeks yurning as red as Ahsoka's."Thanks."

Truth be told, Ahsoka never thought of herself as "pretty". The few times she could think of being called such was usually negatively used, or had bad connotation by someone who had captured her.

Lux had complimented her looks before, but never with the word "pretty". He always used something more, such as "beautiful." And that had only been once.

Aidan's gift, and his words, put a smile on her face for the rest of the day.


	20. Chapter 20

Ahsoka remembered when she had recieved her first training lightsaber. She had been young. Very young, by most standards, but not to a Jedi. Aidan, who she had decided was recieving his first weapon at eleven years of age, would be considered a late bloomer.

One reason she had waited so long may have been wistful, hoping that maybe Aidan would grow up more or he wouldn't have to be a part of violence. It may also have been because she knew Lux would never approve.

Ultimately, it was because of Aidan's morphed view of violence: he saw it as a _good thing._ Something that _helped_ you. He'd not seen _real_ violence, where people die, and the screams of the injured and dying can be heard from every direction, the likes of which could give one nightmares, and a violent reaction to anyone who woke them up at night. Aidan didn't know _that_ was the reason he had to be careful when he woke her up, because she mistook him for an attacker before she realized that it was just him.

Did Ahsoka suffer phsychiologically from her days of the battlefield? Possibly, though she'd seen worse cases of it in her clone troopers. Much, much worse.

For all of these reasons, and just because of her instincts as a parent, Ahsoka was wary of giving her son a weapon, even if it was one he would rarely use in combat. The sai was much less practical than a blaster or a lightsaber, but it was good for teaching, discipline, hand-eye coordination, and basic weapon care. In the temple, sai were given to younglings who needed extra help or confidence before handling a real saber. Sai were not sharp, and were dull on the ends, but could easily break digits and limbs.

Perhaps it'd wring some of the clumsiness out of her son. It'd be good for him, even if she inadvertly felt like she was wringing the Lux-ness out of him. She justified it by telling herself that this was for Aidan's own good, and Aidan wouldn't easily survive if he lived as his father had the privilege of doing.

She'd used her best judgement when she got the weapons. Based on Aidan's arm length, a eight inch long blade would do just fine. The tongs needed some shaping, but other than that it was alright. An easy fix before presenting them to their new owner, and they went back in their sheath, polished and looking the best she could get them. And _how_ she had gotten them, well, that was another story. Hopefully, Aidan wouldn't ask, even if he knew how rare Mandalorian Iron was.

Aidan came back from his lessons early that day. _Her son._ It was still astounding to say those words to herself, especially with the rate that Aidan was growing. She was very proud. He was above average height as he approached his teen years, and also several kilos below the typical weight, consequence of both her own genes and his active lifestyle. His blonde hair-still a mystery to Ahsoka, who had believed any hair he had would be Lux's color-reached his shoulders, having lost its baby curls long ago.

Over dinner, she told him her proposition about him learning to use a weapon himself.

"I can shoot a blaster." He said, rather arrogantly.

"Blasters are not the only weapon. Nor are they reliable. They require ammo and, not to mention, you don't have one."

"Leia's dad is gonna give me one. She's already got one of her own, and he wants us both to have one so we can defend ourselves."

"Well, Bail Organa is not your father." Ahsoka's eyes narrowed and her voice grew rough."He doesn't get to decide things like that. You don't need a blaster to defend yourself. Your own two fists do just fine."

"You're too old-fashioned. Everyone uses blasters now, mom. I want to learn to use one."

Ah, there it was. _Mom_. No longer his sweet, affectionate _mama._ Just _mom._ He was at a terrible transition stage where he was sweet and cute one moment and then pratically a teenager the next.

"Well, I don't." She didn't admit it was because she despised the weapon herself, even if she'd relied on blasters for much of the time he was an infant.

"What else has he been saying?"Ahsoka asked him.

Aidan pretended not to hear.

She said his name again, sterner, in it's Togruti equivalent and he looked up at her, then back down again and shrugged.

"As I said. Bail Organa is _not_ your father. Don't take what he says as gospel. He is a concerned friend, not-"

"He may not be my father, but at least he's there!" Aidan suddenly exclaimed, angrily, and Ahsoka could pratically sense his blood boiling. Angry tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes.

"That's not something for you to decide!"Her voice raised without it meaning too. She was mad now. How _dare_ he say _anything_ about Lux when he had _nothing_ to base it off!

But that was just it. He had _nothing_ to base it off.

"I miss my dad."Aidan sniffed."And I've not even met him." Another sniff, and Ahsoka was hardly staying in her seat now, she wanted nothing more than to comfort Aidan but she knew now was not the time. It was time to talk.

"You have met him." Ahsoka whispered, hardly a whisper. She remembered the day four-year-old Aidan had come home after being helped by a stranger named Lux Bonteri, Imperial Senator of Onderon-Aidan's own father yet he hadn't realized it.

"...What?"

"You..." But now it was Ahsoka who bit her lip and held back tears. Lux and Aidan _had_ met. Lux had held his son once. _Just once._ Did he even remember the blonde, wild-haired blue-eyed ragtag child he'd helped get home? Probably not.

"I don't mean to get attached to people like Senstor Organa."Aidan went on."But I just can't help it. I'm sure if Rex were here I'd say the same about him. Is it natural to want a father so much?"

Ahsoka couldn't reply. Having no memory of her own father, and not ever needing to, she didn't have the same struggles Aidan did.

"Why did he leave?" His trembling voice, again.

"He didn't leave." Ahsoka corrected.

"Then...Did _you_ leave?"

He wanted answers, desperately. Every year it was a new one, and Ahsoka told him more and more lies. But this time...

"Mom?" Aidan seemed to realize that he'd struck a nerve. "Mom, I- I didn't mean to-"

She got up and left the table then, not even bothering to clean up. She didn't feel like it. She couldn't look at his face anymore. That heartbroken face of a little boy who just wanted his dad.

 _Did you leave?_ He had asked

 _Did I?_ Well, it certainly hadn't been Lux.

Ahsoka pulled her arms close to shield herself against an invisible breeze. Her eyes closed, warm tears leaving marks on her face and leaving the taste of salt when they seeped through her lips.

Then, those soft, tender footprints that padded up behind her, unbelievably innocent, but at the same time, Aidan knew much more than any child his age should.

"I was seventeen when I found out I was pregnant."

He knew what that meant. He may not know "the birds and the bees", but Aidan had seen enough pregnant women and asked his mother why they were so fat that she had explained it before many times. Not that he'd asked that recently, but it used to be a regular topic.

Aidan maintained his grip on the doorway as he watched her back.

"But I wasn't as young as most people my age." She continued. "Being a Jedi... Being in a _war_ made me like that."

"I had met your father three years back. We became friends, even with our differing views." Ahsoka smiled a bit at the memory and closed her eyes.

 _I'm not so bad._

"Then again the next year. And the next." Saying it aloud now made Ahsoka realize how foolish she'd been. _I'd been with Lux three times._ Three times! _And we did... what we did._

"He was young too, but not terribly so. He was mature beyond his years- like you are, son, and I have no doubt that if he'd known about you he'd have been ready for it. If I'd stayed a little longer than I'd gotten to before the Jedi called me back, I would've found out and told him and would have stayed." She said this confidently, and knew it was true.

Aidan had listened quietly up to this point, but now interrupted. "Neither of you left." He realized. "Other people tore you apart."

"Yes. _Other people_ tore us apart. The Jedi tore us apart."

"You don't like the Jedi anymore, do you...mama? You're mad at them for taking you away from dad."

"No, I'm not mad at the Jedi. But... I'm mad at myself, for not going back when I had the chance after I found out about you."

"Were you happy, when you found out about me?"

This was where Ahsoka had to lie a bit. "Right after I was done being scared." She said, and finally turned around and let him come into her arms and hug her around the waist.

"But you didn't want me."

"Of course I wanted you!"Ahsoka kneeled down and combed through his hair with her hands."Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Some people... they say that I'm just a burden to you. That you shouldn't have had me. They told me the other thing you could've done ... and I don't want to think about it. I couldn't imagine being completely alone, or... dead."

Who had told her son these terrible things?! Ahsoka seethed with _anger_. Pure _anger._

"Even if I was scared in the beginning."She whispered in his ear. His cute, wonderful, human, _Lux_ , ear. "As soon as I saw you in my tummy, I could _never._ Never,never,never, _never_! Do what some people-some cowards-think is alright to do."

"I could never imagine life without you." She heaved him up now, all thirty kilograms of him into her arms. "Even if I have to do it all alone. Even if I was stupid enough to _do_ it alone, without letting your father know about you. In a heartbeat, I would chose you."

"Even if... you had to chose between me and dad?" Those blue eyes, so mournful yet so full of hope as they looked into hers.

"Even if I had to chose between you and dad."She confirmed.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

She pulled a bit away from him and smiled."I thought you decided you were too old for that."

He suddenly clung to her, now, like she was his lifeline. "But I don't ever, ever, ever ever, _ever!_ want to leave you."

"Alright, then." She relented."As long as you let me say I love you."

"I love you too!"

"And give you a big hug-"

He squeezed even tighter.

"And a big kiss-"

He lurched back, somehow covering his cheeks and forehead at the same time as he tried to evade her. Not offended, but instead laughing, relieved that this had gone so well and Aidan was happy again, even if she herself was so sad, Ahsoka decided _not_ to kiss him and _embarrass_ him in front of _nobody,_ and instead carried him off so he could get ready for bed.

"I love you, mama." He whispered again as they went to sleep.

"I love you, too."She assured him, and she meant it, with all of her heart.

The terrible weapon whose mention had started this whole talk remained wrapped and hidden under her bed, not to be taken out until Aidan was ready, however long that would be.

It could be forever.

Ahsoka. Didn't. Care.


	21. Chapter 21

Ahsoka was surprised that Aidan took the news so well. It almost seemed to undermine how difficult it was for her to tell him.

She hadn't told that narrative to _anyone._ Not Anakin,not Bail,not even Rex. Or most importantly, Lux.

Yet, her ten year old son had heard it. Her _ten year old,_ who had no reason to be anything but glad that he knew the truth. Aidan wasn't mature enough to be angry. Not yet, anyway. Ahsoka prayed that day never came. She already had enough feelings toward the subject. She didn't need Aidan's too.

Once again, she caught herself wishing that Aidan would never grow up.

That wish must've been universal for all parents, because anytime she spoke with Bail, he tended to agree the same about Leia.

Speaking of speaking with Bail, Ahsoka had made _sure_ that the esteemed Senator was _not_ going to be putting any weapons into her son's hands for a while. That was _her_ choice. When and if she chose it.

Meanwhile, Aidan was progressing quickly, as expected, through his defenses. He seemed to inhale them, and hung onto every word, every move like his life depended on it.

 _And one day, it would._ Ahsoka told herself. Then, she had to assure herself next: _I'm doing the right thing._

She left Aidan alone to run his current kata several times in a row. He was dilligent, very dilligent at such his young age. A blessing from his father. He was dilligent to stick to his work for many times, but still easily distracted in doing so,which could be a curse from her.

It also seemed against Aidan's values to do anything by halves, or sloppy. Another blessing from his father. One that she envied, wished she had when she was younger.

Her commlink buzzed, disrupting her thoughts and causing her to scowl a bit. Bringing it to her ear, she recieved news of a new mission the rebellion had for her. A new mission- a reason to find herself away from her son. Pursing her lips in displeasure, she almost threw the commlink down instead of placing it back on her belt.

She called Aidan to her after he had completed one of his repetitions. He bounded over to her. Quickly. Immediately. Like a soldier.

"Did I do something wrong?"He asked, blue eyes wide and eager to learn.

"No."Ahsoka sighed, and cupped his cheek."Not you."

"You have to leave."He interrupted, reading her perfectly. No matter how used to it he was, he always got upset- his lower lip out in a pout.

"You know I don't like to do this, Aidan, and-"

"Can I go with you?"

He hadn't asked that in a long time. Maybe even years, not since he was too young to understand. She hadn't considered taking him anywhere with her that wasn't necessary since he had been weaned- no longer entirely dependent on her for survival.

She stopped a moment- considered it. Children were not unheard of on the rebellion base. Teens were common. Aidan would like a new environment. And several of her coworkers had been wanting to meet him- the strange,fully human-looking offspring of hers. Humans were the majority, it was safe to say.

 _But you are not an exhibit for them too look at. You are a strong boy- you can beat them up if they look at you too much, laugh at you, or anything. Then you come to me._

"Just remember, if I'm not around and you need something, find someone you know, like Kaeden. Remember Kaedan?"

Aidan blinked twice and nodded. Then he replied, "Okay, Mama."

"Go pack two changes of clothes, and anything you might need."

He scrambled off.

"Need!"She echoed."Not want!" Her bag was already packed- one for her was constantly ready aboard her ship. Constantly ready, a reminder of her many departures.

She turned and admired the rolling fields of Alderaan. In all its glory, it was beautiful. Quite similar to Onderon, actually.

 _Maybe I'll take him there, too._

 **oooooooooooooooooooo**

Aidan froze on the way up the ramp to their ride, his boots digging into the soft, rubber covered metal.

"Am I coming back?" He asked, just to make sure.

Ahsoka couldn't bring herself to say "of course", but she gave him as reassuring a smile as she could. Aidan's head turned with the rest of his tall frame to look at the bottom of the ramp. To his home. His _normal_. His best friend, Leia, who he waved to one last time.

Then he finished his walk up, and Ahsoka closed the ramp behind him, heading straight for the cockpit. Aidan, however, set about exploring the meagre fighter. The two room half-kitchen,half-bed, and refresher that it housed.

"Are we gonna fit on that bed?" Was the only thing he had to report back to her when he climbed mext to her, swallowing back his fear as he looked outward to the sky.

"I usually just sleep right here on the chair." Ahsoka told him- and it was true. It was often more comfortable, with her lekku fitting easily behind the seat as she leaned back and dozed. Beds and pillows weren't always the best for her, especially with all the growing and shifting to true adulthood.

Aidan had asked her once what it felt like to have lekku and montrals. She'd told him it was uncomfortable most of the time, but it was cool to be able to hear sounds from far, far away. She would ask back what hair felt like, and he'd simply say that it was itchy.

The last person to explain hair to her had been Lux. Lux's description hadn't been as simple as "itchy". It was longer, more explanatory.

" _Sometimes it gets in the way." She could remember him admitting, and she also recalled the softness of it, even after all their time spent away from adequate 'freshers during their time in the forests of Onderon. "But most of the time it's just there. It can also be soothing..." He almost purred the last word as she punctuated his statement, running her hands through his dark locks as he lay beside her, both of them blissfully unaware of what they had created-_ who _they had created-between them, now that they had calmed down a bit._

 _"What I don't understand..."She'd run her over the rough beginning of whiskers."Is how you allow it on your face."_

 _"Well, that's just me being irresponsible. And an unfourtunate side-effect of being male. Not... that you should complain." He grinned._ " _I doubt you'd like me if I was a girl."_

 _"For many reasons." She indicated to the whole of him, and he chuckled, a sound that made her smile easily, quickly turning into a feral grin as she flipped herself atop him and kissed_ him _for a change and then-_

Coming back to the present, Ahsoka snorted audibly, her memory up to that point making her feel pleasant all over, and made the ends of her lekku involuntarily curl.

Aidan jumped when she snorted. Poor boy had been startled by that after her many minutes of silence.

 _Sorry, son. I'm used to being alone in my ship. Good thing you aren't good enough to read_ my _thoughts._

"What were you-"Aidan giggled a bit,s _norting_ at?"

"Nothing."She responded. "Just my thoughts..."

"Sometimes if Leia laughs too much, she snorts." Said Aidan. "One time, water came out of her nose! Senator Organa was horrified. But then he laughed too."

"Leia's an interesting girl sometimes." Ahsoka smiled. _A lot like her mother._

"She's like a sister to me." Aidan told her, very serious as he turned around in his seat to avoid looking out the windows. Completelyaround, so he faced the back of the seat. "Do you think I'm like her brother?"

"I'm sure at times you can be." Ahsoka said mindfully."You two are both only children after all. As close as you are, may as well be siblings."

"I don't think I could handle more than Leia, though." Aidan said."I'm glad it's just me." He looked to her, probably expecting her to agree. To say, _me too. I love you, son._

But what he had said...

 _I'm glad it's just me._

"Do you mean you're glad you don't have any siblings?"

Aidan shrugged. "Actually, I don't know. I wonder a lot of things, Mama."

Now, that she could agree with. She'd wondered things too, from the very beginning. She almost snorted again when she though of how convinced she was that Aidan was a girl, not a boy, and then his birth had pretty much ruined that idea. And then, when he had been four years old and unknowingly met his father, Lux, the Imperial Senator of Onderon, she wondered what it would have been like if _she_ had seen him that day, too. If anything would have changed- or if it could, with Lux being married to another woman, having a daughter of his own.

"Me too." She finally agreed, after yet another bout of silence.

Aidan fidgeted in his seat again -as if the travel through _hyper_ space was making him _hyper_ active, and Ahsoka felt herself easily slipping into the kind of thoughts she normally had when she was alone and piloting. And she watched Aidan out of the corner of her eye as he ambled off to the small bed and climbed atop it, curling up and facing away from her. Like she was, a side sleeper.

Unlike Lux, who slept on his back and held her close- if he was only like so for that one particular night, she didn't know. But as she nestled into her pilot's chair, she imagined it, once again. That warmth, unique to Lux and his arms that had washed over her even if she was here, now, alone.

And she wondered if, on the other side of the galaxy, Lux Bonteri ever thought of her, too.


	22. Chapter 22

Aidan had become suddenly shy among a new group of people. Or maybe it was the environment.

She had no idea.

He held tight to Ahsoka's hand and dragged his feet a bit throughout the base, his small pack halfway off his arm, and that hand in his mouth. Some people, who had never known Ahsoka to be a mother, stopped and stared as they went by. Others would double take, and then move on.

She wondered if her son was having second thoughts about coming with her. He sure looked scared, wide eyed and brows raised, though he made eye contact with nobody except her.

He looked so young and lost around the giants of other people. But when she stopped to talk to someone, she was entirely aware of him standing on his tippy toes outside the hangar where all the x-wings were, staring longingly at them.

He wants to fly. Ahsoka thought, bemused. But... he's scared of heights.

After she was done speaking to a courier, Ahsoka came up behind him and lifted him up. Aidan pressed his hands to the glass longingly.

"Maybe one day, son,you can do that."She told him."One day when you're much older."

"But I am old!"He protested, pouting.

She raised an eyebrow and Aidan wiggled from her arms, standing on the ground with his arm crossed and looking up at her angrily, refusing to admit that she was right. Until his fear of heights was overcome, he could never be a pilot. Ahsoka was about to say something else; but then was stopped when a quite familiar voice prevented her from doing so.

"Ahsoka!"

She turned so quickly that her lekku flew into her face with the momentum from her turn. But standing in front of her was an old friend: Miara Laarte.

She hardly had enough time to stand before being pummeled by a hug. If Ahsoka had thought Aidan grew in the past ten years, then Miara had definitely done so as well.

"I almost didn't recognize you!"Cried Ahsoka. It was totally true: Miara was in, of all things, a pilot's jumpsuit, with the rank of Lieutenant on it. As usual, her dark hair was wild around her head, in a way that reminded Ahsoka much of Steela.

"I got your message and came as soon as I could! Senator Organa was surprisingly easy to convince."Explained the younger woman. Then her eyes befell Aidan, who she'd not seen since he was about two years old. "Is that...?!"Her mouth dropped open in shock and she just pointed.

"Yes." Ahsoka chuckled at her reaction. "And I need you to look after him for me- just like old times. He convinced me to let him come to base, but still hasn't convinced me to let him go on missions quite yet."

"Of course I'll look after him!" Miara agreed, still looking Aidan over."He's gotten so big!"

"You're one to talk."Ahsoka smiled, eyeing her insignia and her overall growth.

"Well this-"Miara gestured to herself."This was all bound to happen, once I was old enough. I loved the idea of piloting for good- now I can fly for the Rebellion!"

"I'm happy for you."Ahsoka said genuinely. _I see a lot of myself in her._ "Perhaps you can help Aidan pursue that career path too, while I'm gone. He's afraid of heights- gets sick as soon as he looks out the window."

"Oh, I doubt I'll take him flying. But I'll show him the ropes. You can count on me!"

 _I know I can._ Ahsoka thought as she shouldered her pack and moved to step away from where Aidan and Miara were. She wasn't stealthy enough, though, as Aidan saw what she was trying to do.

"Mama!"Aidan cried, running toward her and hugging her waist as soon as he realized what was happening."You said I could come with you! And you're _leaving_!"

"I said you could come with me to the base."Ahsoka corrected, prying him off of her while Miara watched sadly."But it's too dangerous for me to take you on my mission. You have to stay with Miara."

Aidan's lower lip trembled, but no tears came. He seemed to be obeying her wishes. "Yes,mama."He whispered and let go of her, hanging his head sadly.

"I'll take good care of you, Aidan." Miara said to the boy, taking his hand."Your mom will be back before you even have time to miss her."

"I shouldn't ever have to miss her." Aidan murmured, still not looking up.

Ahsoka knelt in front of him, cupping his cheek and playing with his long hair. "Be good, son. I know you will be. I love you."

"Love you too."He muttered.

A kiss to his forehead. A smile to Miara. And she was off, being sure not to look behind her.

Ahsoka had left so many people in her life: her family. Master Skywalker. Padme. Rex. Lux. Aidan.

It always hurt. It was always hard no matter how norm it was. She never looked back, no matter how longingly or lovingly they stared after her or how loudly Aidan cried. She never looked back. If anything, she looked down. Down to the ground, still expertly dodging people in the hallways as the force helped her navigate.

The most difficult person to leave had been Lux, up until she had Aidan. Aidan was nearly impossible, because it was as if she were leaving Lux all over again: the sad,pouty,wistful eyes they both used against her. Not to mention, anytime she left, she had no idea if she would ever see her son (and her last remainder of Lux) again. If she would see him into puberty, into manhood. If she would see him grow up and get married and possibly have a family of his own.

Becoming a pilot was always how she hid away from all those troubles- from Aidan, from Lux, from the memories of Anakin that haunted her in her dreams. Putting her hand on the controls was like being fourteen again- recently apprenticed and ready to learn from him. Fourteen... that was half her life ago.

It seemed so much longer.

But today,as Ahsoka sat in her new X-wing, one Bail had reserved just for her, she realized she didn't want to forget all of that. Besides- this new ship was much more bland than her old one. It needed some color.

As soon as she was cruising expertly through to hyperspace, Ahsoka opened her bag and witheld the contents inside. As she used her hand to move aside her single spare set of clothing, her hand felt something thin and papery.

She pulled out a sheet of flimsiplast and immediately smiled at the child drawn picture and note on it.

Dear mama,

I miss you already. I promise I will do better at flying and learning to fight when you come back.

I love you,

Aidan

Ahsoka actually felt a tear gathering in the corner of her eye- especially at the effort he had put into the writing, and especially the picture of her he had drawn. It was nowhere near perfect, but it was still a masterpiece in her eyes. He even pointed out the headress he had made her with an arrow to label it on his drawing. On the figure of a little boy next to her, Aidan's hair looked like a bunch of spaghetti noodles.

She hugged the drawing and note to her, savoring the essence of her son that could be gathered from it. Then, still smiling, she pasted it to her X-wing, just in front of her, regardless of the fact that it obscured part of her vision to the front.

Pulling out the box of valubles she kept within her bag, Ahsoka pulled out something else. All of her dearest memories were saved both electronically and printed onto paper or flimsiplast. Perhaps it was a nod to her slightly primitive culture, perhaps it was just her preference.

The top of the pile of paper was the first and only ultrasound she had of Aidan. It was just after her pregnancy had been confirmed, and, as she was fearful and considering ending it, her once-friend Barriss had convinced her to get a scan and to look at the tiny, precious being inside her that would one day be her and Lux's son. This picture had changed her mind pretty quickly. If she hadn't seen how Aidan was already, definitely, alive and growing, she couldn't guarantee that her choice would have been the same.

Precious indeed- Ahsoka added it next to Aidan's drawing.

The next was of Aidan almost immediately after he was born- of him, half wrapped in a blanket and lying screaming on her chest, his mouth open wide and skin as red and wrinkly as could be. She had shown him this before; his reaction was to crinkle his nose and declare "I look like a giant, red potato."

As any first time mother would, Ahsoka had tons of pictures of him, and her favorites went up too: Aidan laughing, Aidan smiling, Aidan standing, Aidan walking, Aidan and-

Ahsoka had forgotten all about this one. She laughed sadly at the memory.

Aidan and Rex. The clone captain looked completely out of place with a very young Aidan in his arms, as he looked quite confused,probably because of the way both of Aidan's hands were on him and covering his mouth and one eye.

There were a couple more of Aidan with various people in both of their lives, like him and Leia. In fact there was one of them in the bathtub together, but Ahsoka considered that too embarrassing to be displayed. That was for her to show to the two of them so she could laugh at their reactions in a few years.

In a couple of moments, Ahsoka found herself at the last picture she had. This one was not of Aidan. Or even of her with Anakin and Obi-Wan, as a few were. No this one-

This one could never be displayed.

The picture of Lux belonged to her. It belonged close to her heart, where she still kept him after nearly ten years. If only for the risk of Aidan's parentage being discovered, Ahsoka put it back.

 _I just... can't bear to look._

Quickly, she shut the few rejected photos back into the small box and shoved it, quite violently, to the bottom of the bag and shoved it over and over, until she heard a ripping noise- except she wasn't sure if it was the bag, or her heart.

She refused to cry. Refused to shed tears at one of her own faults, one of her own choices. She remembered talking to him, before they had... She told him she wanted to leave the Order. That she was done with all the death and sadness that followed it around. He had been one of the few rays of light in her life, and she had chosen to let him go. Their passionate time together hadn't changed anything. And she hadn't planned on waking up Lux with her leaving. If she hadn't turned and run, and instead looked at his face, she may not have been able to leave him.

Then she had the free oppurtunity to go back to him when she discovered she was pregnant- she refused that too.

 _I am a terrible, selfish person._

That was the only conclusion she could achieve with her behavior the way it was. She had broken Lux's heart, caused Aidan to grow up fatherless, all because she was too selfish to face her own mistakes.

 _One day, I will fix this. She vowed._

 _Even if it's the last thing I do._


	23. Chapter 23

Ahsoka had grown out of the habit of telling herself that missions were going to be easy. Because most of the time, they came back and jinxed her.

Wishing to get back to Aidan only made things worse.

Her x-wing starfighter, which she had just lovingly decorated with her various pictures and gifts was now trailing smoke and struggling to stay aloft.

"A simple scouting mission, they said." Ahsoka grumbled to herself. "It'll be fine, they said." She flipped levers and pushed various buttons. Using her cloaking device (if this ship even had one) was useless; because of the smoke trail, she was basically flying along with a giant colorful target on her back.

In the back of the fighter, Ahsoka's droid was going wild. She hadn't bothered to learn its name yet, as it was brand new. She'd given the old one to Aidan, after he'd decorated the poor thing with stickers and claimed it as his own.

Judging by the Imperial ship behind her, Ahsoka was pretty sure she knew what happened to the Rebellion convoy.

And what was about to happen to her, if she didn't get out of here.

Glancing at a picture of her son, Ahsoka felt rejuvenated as she brought herself out of panic mode.

"Droid."She ordered, hoping she didn't sound too harsh. "I want all power to the rear shields."

It was only a matter of time before some TIEs came after her. Now, she was back in familiar turf.

And she refused to think about that some of these enemy pilots may in fact be people she served alongside before.

Her droid beeped back at her.

 _The thing's got almost as bad an attitude as Artoo._ Ahsoka thought to herself, then grimaced as a shot nearly got her. "What do you _mean_ we've got no shields?!"

The droid beeped something back like "they don't have them on these ships."

"Well they need them!" Ahsoka retorted, knowing that she was going to have a talk with whoever was in charge after this.

She knew for a fact that the ship had at least a hyprdrive- that was how she'd ended up here in the first place. With that in mind, she came up with an idea...

"Okay, scratch that last order- divert all power to the hyperdrive instead!"

If not for her Jedi instincts, Ahsoka knew she would never have been a pilot. Without them, there was no way she would be able to multitask like she was now: talking, piloting to avoid enemies, and hitting bullseye's all at the same time. Suddenly, it made sense why Anakin had been such a gifted pilot, because of all those midichlorians.

Speaking of Anakin, her plan now was definitely one he would approve of. Crazy, yet also reasonable at the same time.

Her hands gripped the joystick for dear life, then suddenly, relaxed, and her fighter became weightless as it did a quick turnabout until it faced the enemy. Her droid didn't have time to scream as all the remaining fighters were decimated.

 _Phew._ Now all that was left was to jump to hyperspace. Ahsoka's arm reached out and gripped the lever, all set to go, when all the sudden-

A dark force settled around her and sent shivers down her spine. Her head began to hurt, and suddenly terrible images flew through her head as a terrible, booming voice spoke inside of her.

 _Ahsoka Tano._

Her hand shook on the controls as she gritted her teeth and struggled against the darkness. _Go...away!_

 _Where is he?_

Ahsoka had enough. Forsaking the dark, forcibly rejecting it, she pulled the lever with a sense of finality as she jumped into hyperspace to escape.

 **ooooooooooooooooooooo**

Even such a brief moment of darkness- _why did that voice seem so familiar?-_ left Ahsoka in a bad mood for the rest of the trip. Realizations like that didn't truly _scare_ her, but impacted her in other ways. In her feelings, yes, but not in a way that crippled her like fear did.

 _Where is he?_

Whoever that was, they had no business trying to find Aidan, if that's who they were talking about. Nu-uh. Not if Ahsoka had any say in this.

She debated calling Miara to check and make sure Aidan was alright. But she felt no pain or negative emotions from him whatsover, and had not, over the course of her week long absence. Therefore, on the return trip home, she had a chance to ponder and meditate over who that voice could be.

 _Someone who knows about Aidan. Someone dark._

The only people outside of the Rebellion who knew about him could be recalled easily: the clones under her command, along with Anakin- who had died with the knowledge- Bo-Katan, Tarkin and his unnamed Lieutenant who had kidnapped Aidan and Leia, and the Inquisitor from Raada, who she had killed.

Nonoe of those people should have been able to communicate with her using the dark side of the force. In fact; the only remotely force sensitive being on that list seemed to be the deseased Inquisitor.

Yet that was what she had felt.

She thought back to what Bail had said when they'd first talked. "An Inquisitor?"he had demanded. Ahsoka now realize he said "an", not "the", indicating that there could be more.

 _There could be more._

The thought made Ahsoka's stomach turn with fear- not for herself, but for her son, and dread. She knew mthe lengths these monsters would go to firsthand. They would slaughter innocents just to get what they wanted.

They almost had suceeded in getting Aidan the last time.

Then and there Ahsoka decided that she needed to take matters into her own hands if it meant keeping her son safe. She knew Miara didn't have time to be a permanant babysitter, so looking after him would become her job, and rightfully so. She was his mother after all.

An increase in his training, perhaps. Until he was old enough to be involved with a squad. That would leave him somewhat in a group and safe. Like the clones always said:"strength in numbers".

Or maybe, Aidan just needed friends. Ahsoka knew what loneliness was like. And she saw it in Aidan. He was the youngest person on the base. The age gap jumped to be maybe fourteen- and that was a _big_ maybe.

Taking him away from Leia may have been a mistake.

And it wouldn't have been the first error Ahsoka had made as a mother. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.

With that in mind, Ahsoka heaved a big breath and contemplated all she had ever done in her incredibly short, yet complicated life and motherhood.

She wished Lux were here.

 **ooooooooooooo**

Aidan was asleep when Ahsoka made it back to base.

So was Miara, judging from the quiet.

Inside the modest living quarters, Miara had one bunk, and Aidan was hanging halfway off the other, snoring.

Ahsoka had no idea where Aidan had inheirited this restless sleep from. It certainly wasn't her- she slept like a rock. It could be Lux, maybe. She'd never seen him sleep on a normal night before.

Gently hooking her hands under Aidan's arm and torso, Ahsoka lifted him back up, careful not to hit his head. As she slowly lay him down flat, Aidan yawned and opened his eyes.

"Your hands are cold, mama." He whispered, shivering. Ahsoka was perplexed- Togruta had a higher temperature than humans, so if she really was cold...

"Are you feeling okay?"Aidan went on, sitting up on his elbows, causing the blanket to fall a bit off of his torso. Ahsoka was once again struck by his thin frame, it worried her, that he wasn't eating well, but she had no way of knowing.

"All of you is cold..."Aidan went on, feeling her cheeks.

 _Cold._

Like that voice.

"I'm fine, Aidan. Really." She tried for a smile.

"No, you're not." Aidan's eyes scrunched up, examining her with wisdom much beyond his years."Something's wrong."

"It's my burden to bear."Ahsoka assured him."Really. I can't even begin to explain it." _And I don't want to. I don't want you to know the danger you're in- the darkness I have to keep at bay in order to keep your safe._

"I don't like it when you're upset." Aidan declared.

"Thank you for thinking of me." Touching a cold hand to Aidan's abnormally warm human skin.

"I want to help. All week here I just sat around while you went out there... and something happened."

"You're speaking as if _you're_ the parent. You're ten years old, Aidan."

"But I'm the man of the house."He shot right back."I'm supposed to _protect_ you."

"That's not your job yet." Ahsoka pushed down on his chest lightly."Now go back to sleep. You can help me feel better by getting a nice good sleep."

Aidan knew that wasn't the case at all. But his body betrayed him as he let out another yawn and closed his eyes.

Seeing him off to sleep, Ahsoka finally stood and took a few steps to the window, looking out into the vast blackness beyond. Someone, out there, wanted her son. Wanted Aidan.

 _Over my dead body._ Ahsoka growled softly in her throat. _I killed one of you already, and I'll do it again._

 _Try me._

 **ooooooooo**

The first real threat came a few months later.

Until then, all the attacks had been bad dreams, nightmares, and suspicious bouts of dark and cold. One time, a foolish novice of an inquisitor tried to infiltrate the base. They got past Ahsoka, as she was away, but didn't get past the atmosphere, thanks to Miara and some of her pilots. That feat had gotten the younger Larte sister a promotion, not just for saving Aidan, but also the entire Rebellion. Leia was able to see Aidan again for the ceremony, and it was a happy time for all.

Now, four years afterward, Aidan was involved much more with his mother's jobs, acting as her eyes and ears in the base and as her technologic master mind: it was usually Aidan who distorted her voice and image anytime she made a message as Fulcrum.

He never took to being a pilot, which didn't upset Ahsoka as much as she thought it would. Aidan was on his way to becoming a phenomenal soldier, and his mother's protectiveness was all that kept him from being more involved in the fight against the Empire.

Speaking of her "protectiveness", that particular issue caused quite a bit of tension between mother and son. Aidan saw no reason why he shouldn't fight. Ahsoka knew that Lux wouldn't want Aidan off and fighting so early. She knew that _she_ didn't want him off fighting so early, even if some of his close in aged friends were already.

"Your friend Hera has a fourteen year old with her, doesn't she?" Aidan was arguing with her now. "I'm the same age as that, aren't I?"

"That's _different!"_ Ahsoka cried, trying to keep her cool. "I don't like the idea of it either, even if he _is_ force sensitive. And besides- I'm not in charge of Ezra. I'm in charge of you!"

"And why should you be! You've been in charge of me my _whole life_. Can't you at least let me go just for a little bit?"

"I believe Admiral Sato can spare a fourteen-year-old boy."

"They _need_ me, mom!"

"No, Aidan. _I_ need you. Alive!" Only the fierceness in his mother's eyes rendered Aidan silent. "I'm not discussing this any longer. You're too young to go."

"You were fighting in the Clone War when you were my age. _The Clone War!"_ Aidan's voice cracked in the middle of raising his voice, and it would have been funny if not for the tense situation.

"And my mind will never recover because of it. I am going to spare you that pain." Ahsoka sighed."I wish I hadn't lost contact with Rex so he could help you understand that you _don't_ want to fight."

"Rex is biased."Aidan murmured, crossing his arms. "Could I at least-"

Their talk was interrupted by Ahsoka's commlink chirping. She answered it after glaring at Aidan a bit."This is General Tano."

"General, there was just an urgent message intercepted from the Lothal rebel cell. They need reinforcements."

"I'm on my way." Said Ahsoka, failing to hide her distaste. She had _just_ gotten back from her last mission, only to get into an argument with Aidan and then be called right back.

"Can I trust you not to do anything stupid while I'm gone?"She asked pointedly.

"Actually, mom?" Aidan asked, startling her with his newfound calm voice before she could run out the door. "This seems fun. Can I tag along? You can keep an eye on me, _and_ I'll get to experience a little action." His blue eyes twinkled hopefully and Ahsoka even caught him rising up on his heels.

She looked at him with an "I'm considering it" look on her face.

"I'm sorry for arguing with you." He tried, and Ahsoka rolled her eyes, gesturing for him to follow her.

"Shotgun!" She could've sworn she heard him yell as he blew past her.

"Just don't get sick all over my console." She said to his quickly dissapearing back before breaking into a run herself.


	24. Chapter 24

Having Aidan as her copilot was really a test to see how the boy would do under pressure of a battle in space. Or maybe, just in space. In the past, Aidan would easily get sick from the altitude and the motion, which is why he swore to never be a pilot. Ahsoka highly doubted that. A man with his talents of being highly alert and high energy would eventually get bored with the ground and find his way into the pilot's chair. Ahsoka had seen and heard of it before.

He seemed fine now, as they together piloted a ship with a squad of guards toward the Ghost, as per instructions by Bail Organa. Apparently a droid was waiting for them. It belonged to Hera-Spectre Two- of the Lothal Rebels cell, which also contained one of Ahsoka's old friends, Caleb Dume, now called Kanan Jarrus.

The two of them went way back, all the way to before the Clone Wars.

It made Ahsoka feel old, even if she had only been alive for about thirty years. Aidan was only about half her age. (It was strange to think that way but, so it was).

Aidan seemed well enough as they were going through hyperspace. He talked and made jokes with her as they flew around. It was as if, almost for a moment, they were a normal mother and son taking a trip that may not include death in the end.

Then,in a moment of silence, it was time for her to get serious.

"Aidan." She began, and he could tell by the tone of her voice this was not going to be a pleasant talk. Almost as bad as the birds and the bees talk. (Exponentially harder and much more weird to explain as a teen mom with an absent father, Ahsoka might add).

"If something happens to me-"

She didn't even get to finish before Aidan began denying the subject. "Nothing's going to happen to you, Mom. You've always come back in the past." He said it so carelessly now, without a worry in his mind after so many of her successful returns.

"I still need to tell you, regardless of what may be."

Ahsoka insisted. "If something happens to me, I don't know who to leave you in the care of. Rex, perhaps, but... I stopped recieving responses from him awhile ago. Perhaps Bail can take you in. Or Hera. Or-"

"-Or I could always just take care of myself." Aidan interjected. "I could find Dad on my own."

Yes, the thought had crossed Ahsoka's mind. But Lux? He would be immensly surprised, perhaps too surprised, by the sudden arrival of his teenaged Rebel son. For the safety of them both, Ahsoka had still not disclosed Lux's information.

"Maybe."She lied. Long ago,after finding contact with Rex, Ahsoka had removed the chip that contained her message of Aidan's origin and transferred it to her most trusted friend, who had reluctantly agreed to intervene for Aidan if anything ever happened to her. If Rex had viewed the chip, she didn't know, but doubted he would unless drastic measures came. And, plus, she didn't know how he would find out. Perhaps giving him that information had been a mistake.

"Maybe always means no." Her son huffed, and leaned back in his chair, mumbling about her not trusting her and whatever else he decided.

"And for good reason." Ahsoka agreed, leaning back as well. Here they were, about to engage in battle and they were so calm, so relaxed- it was ridiculous how much war had softened them up. In fact, Ahsoka wasn't even afraid of dying- just of Aidan dying. If Aidan died... she would probably kill herself too. She'd lost people close to her, but the relationship between her and Aidan was a whole different level. She wouldn't even tell Lux about him as she'd be so ashamed for being unable to protect their son.

Ahsoka found herself having to fight off the dark side that threatened her "what-if" thoughts as she turned to her only child.

"When the time comes, I'll leave you here. Alone."

He looked extremely alarmed as he took it out of context. "What?! Mom, you don't mean that- I told you that nothing is going to happen-"

"I mean here in the cockpit." Ahsoka bit back a laugh at her son's half relieved, half confused expression. "Sorry. I needed to switch gears from our last conversation, no?"

Aidan's wide, electric blue eyes gave all the response she needed. "Geez, mom." He rolled them now. "Don't scare me like that."

"Now, when do I ever do that?" She wondered, and he gave her a look that meant,"Don't even get me started."

His eyes grew even wider as they exited hyperspace into the would be battlefield.

"Why are they shooting at their own tie-"Aidan began but Ahsoka was already up and springing into action. "Stay here!" She commanded of him.

Aidan shouted something back affirmatively and she sprinted down the ramp,past various guards, and slid on her heels when she got to the bottom. From the controls on the wall, Ahsoka allowed the lone droid pilot of the Ghost to dock with their ship.

Then she made her way onto it.

The Ghost was certainly an odd ship- it had multiple cabins, something Ahsoka had not seen in a while.

The droid beeped indignantly at her when she entered the cockpit. It had a worse attitude than Artoo.

"Yeah. I know, droid."She grumbled as she slid into the pilot's chair, detaching it from the trnasport Aidan was on. _It's no wonder Hera calls him Chopper._

In the distance, Ahsoka could see a rather colourful TIE fighter being chased by others of the same model. However, Chopper had explained that was actually their friends- which Ahsoka thought seemed a lot like something out of a plan she and Anakin would've followed.

But anyway, all hell was about to break loose as soon as the Empire realized they had reinforcements. Ahsoka prayed that it would be quick so she could get Aidan out of here. And the Ghost crew, of course.

Assuming her impromptu spot as leader, Ahsoka led the charge in the borrowed Ghost while Chopper chattered, no doubt talking to Hera and the others, as through the fray there was now two TIEs headed their way and not acting hostile.

 _Yes, definitely something like Anakin and I would do._

To her relief, everyone docked without incident. None of the rebels or the crews of the other transports were lost. Everyone was okay.

Ahsoka had to take a few moments to let that sink in. She slumped into her chair while Chopper clattered off to his rightful crew.

"Mom?" Aidan's voice came through her comm. "Mom, we're okay, right? I'm not dreaming?"

"That wasn't even that bad of a firefight." She said by way of assurance.

There was a crackling noise which may have been Aidan sighing. "I'll see you in a bit, I guess."

"Just stay there. I'll be there soon."

It was time to introduce herself.

 **oooooooooooooooo**

If Kanan was shocked to see her alive, he was even more shocked to find out the reason she had left in the first place.

"You- you had a son?!" He just asked in disbelief when they had a moment alone after years apart.

"Have." Ahsoka corrected his misuse of tense." And yeah, people tend to do that sometimes."

"Of all the people..."Kanan just shook his head and glanced in the direction of Aidan, who was chatting with Ezra. It was funny to see the latter looking up so much. Aidan was fourteen and already as tall as Kanan. He had passed Ahsoka's own height when he was twelve.

"I wouldn't be talking." Ahsoka went on. "Also, I don't think I'm the only once-Jedi in this room who has broken the law of attachment."

"Guilty."Kanan shrugged. Then he smirked."Imagine if Master Windu could see us now."

"Oh, he'd be seething." Ahsoka agreed, lips upturned into a rare smile before going into a thin line again. "Though, to be honest. I feel that rule was a little much, anyways."

"Didn't we all."

As if she had been summoned at Kanan's nod to "attachment" Hera walked over to them and slid between the two of them, standing noticeably close to Kanan. Closer than just colleages or partners.

Ahsoka had seen it before. Had experienced that closeness before for herself- and maybe never would again. It probably should have upset her.

But it didn't.

"The number of Jedi seems to be more than you once thought."Said the pilot, directed at Kanan.

Ahsoka should have explained then and there that she was no longer a Jedi. But something held her back. Something in the happiness in her old friend and the awe in his young Padawan upon their meeting stopped her. Not to mention, Aidan used to take pride in telling select others of her former profession.

Instead she just smiled, and, growing strangely uncomfortable,but of what, she didn't know, easily moved away from the couple and out of the room. Aidan caught a glance of her leaving but didn't leave his own conversation to follow. He respected when she needed solitude these days. He was no longer the little boy who would barge into her room unnanounced while she was trying to meditate.

Gone were Aidan's innocent days of childhood. For now, truly, a war had begun.

 **ooooooooooo**

Aidan joined her around dinnertime, sitting beside her at her chosen spot outside, staring into the distance.

"So, what did you think?" Ahsoka asked him, casually leaning back on her hands and stretching her feet out in front of her.

"Of the crew or... of the battle?"

She shrugged."Either is fine."

"The crew was... nice, I guess. Ezra was a bit annoying though, don't you think? He can be pretty whiny."

Ahsoka chuckled."Sounds like someone else I know."

He looked at her, offended."I don't whine!" He insisted, pouting, and making her observation that much funnier.

"But, honestly..."Aidan went on."I'm kind of jealous."

"Hmm?"

"They're such a tight knit group. Almost like a family of their own and I'm kinda jealous. I've not had that before."

 _Oh, I know, son. I know._

"But I have you. And I'm happy with you."

She was not ready for that turn of phrase. This would usually be the part where Aidan complained about not having Lux in the picture. He wasn't complaining now.

 _What has changed?_ Ahsoka certainly had no idea. Maybe it was just the fact that Aidan had grown up, and well. It would probably be time to tell him where babies came from soon... Ahsoka purged the thought from her mind with a shudder. Getting it herself had been awkward enough. She couldn't imagine giving it, especially with no Lux around.

"Ezra said he was an orphan."Aidan went on."That he had been alone on the streets for several years- I couldn't imagine having both my parents gone." He pulled his knees to his chest and, even with his exceptional height, still seemed incredibly young and innocent to his mother. "You didn't ever think of putting me up for adoption, did you?"

"The thought may have crossed my mind."Ahsoka admitted. "In the very beginning. You have to remember how unexpected you were- a lot of things crossed my mind in the very beginning."

Aidan just put his head on his knees and muttered something even she couldn't hear.

"What was that?"

"Min tu nu kirin wa bas." He spoke in Togruti.

"Gi, min du." She replied as such, gently pulling his body toward hers as she pressed his forehead against her own. "Ah'dayn."

 _My little fiery one._

 **oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

 **Author's note:**

 **Wow guys! It's been quite a journey for the two of them, hasn't it!**

 **But don't fear, doesn't end there. Soon we'll pick up on the Rebels side of things. I am splitting this work up both for convienience and also because the coming chapters would be more in the Rebels timeline anywho- wouldn't want to make anyone mad. I know there are some crasy people who are oddly fanatic about the separation of stories of different eras.**

 **Coming soon: One Day When. Look for it in the Star Wars Rebels section! (FanfictionCartoonsStar Wars Rebels OR just search Star Wars Rebels Fanfic)**

 **School's back and really come down hard. I've hardly found time to write and my update schedule has been a bit off as you all well know. Medically, I am doing much better. But enough of me. Onto you my wonderful readers!**

 **Huge thank you for all who faved and followed- I hope you stick around for the next book! I promise things are soon going to be getting very interesting as we seem to be getting close to the time of the canon Inferno Squad books, and thus, Lux's apparent desertion! Dun-dun-dun!**

 **Just keep your eyes peeled for One Day When.**

 **Johnt12345 and HopeReignsOn: Thank you so much for your consistent reviews! They always make my day! See you in the next book!**

 **Also don't forget to check out my tumblr: graxea-bonteri for generally funny stuff relating to this story and my others.**

 **May the force be with you,**

 **Dinui**


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